One snowy night about two Decembers ago an alcoholic walked into Wally's Liquor and bought the biggest,
cheapest jug of wine she could find.
Four liters of Carlo Rossi,
if I recall correctly,
for about fifteen dollars.
She bought it with Eisenhowers,
and Susan B. Anthonys,
and Kennedys —
whatever she could find in her old coin collection with no value above face to speak of.
Because her bank account was trashed,
you see,
and so was her alcohol stash.
And as we all know,
such situations tend to drive the addicted brain to desperation,
so in she walked with her little black drawstring bag of long-forgotten coins,
and I guarantee you those Wally boys will be telling her story till the day they die.
And let me tell you,
she was already a good deal drunk when she went in there that night,
and after the half hour drive back home,
she was a good deal drunker.
…