“Just get over it.”
“Suck it up.”
“Chin up, bitch.”
“You’re fine.”
These are things you might hear (or have heard) if you’re depressed. As a society, we’re not particularly well equipped to deal with mental health. At first glance, it’s at least somewhat understandable. Here’s why: We don’t know how the brain works. Yes, we know it has brain cells that use electricity to fire neurons that connect to other neurons and that’s basically how memories, emotions, original thoughts and knowledge work. But truly, I fucking dare you to go much deeper. We have a machine that can see WHERE in the brain certain things fire. But generally we don’t know how or why.
We’re still asking the “nature vs. nurture” question when it comes to things as far ranging as and as simple as preference of Coke & Peps… all the way to latent racism and sexuality.
It’s hard enough to figure out why something makes us happy, that it’s almost unfathomable to comprehend why something might make you sad.
One problem is that when a happy person has a sad friend, they can sometimes shy away from them, out of fear that they’ll drag them down with them. Like depression is contagious or something. It’s not, but you can understand the sentiment.
Another problem is that generally, empathy is on short supply. If you look at the genetics of our survival, it doesn’t take long to view every living organism as a selfish, self interested collection of cells just trying to reproduce. But in the self-involved modern era of social media, we care about our likes, views, and instant feedback. So, it’s even harder to care about anyone else.
I mean think of the last time one of your friends on social media posted, “having a really hard day, and just want to ball up on the floor and cry.” If your first reaction wasn’t, “jeez, a bit melodramatic,” just reading the status update, then it probably came shortly after, having read the overly caring comments of, “you’re the best,” and, “you can do anything” or “hang in their sweetie.”
But here’s the problem: Depression isn’t always debilitating and inactive. Sometimes it leads to a person taking their own life. And sometimes it leads to a person taking the lives of others in violent displays of their violently depressed state.
The world is a complicated place, and it’s hard to navigate. We need each other more than ever, but I propose this: Why not combine our narcissistic desire to express ourselves with the true need to get help when we’re depressed… and talk about it. If you’re sad. Post that shit.
Thinking about skipping a social hang because you’re too sad to shower: tell someone.
And when you see those things online, don’t hate. And don’t comment. Call. Reach out. Go over. Make sure they’re ok. Because depression is real, and people are dying.
But what do you think? How do you deal with your own depression?
And how do you feel about the depression of others?
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I think you're touching on a emotional subject with why people don't come out with saying or feeling the bad stuff. It's the fear of judgement. Although I'm sure most people mean well, just not knowing how people will react if you say I'm going through this or feeling that, makes it so much harder to confess. If we knew we were in a safe environment and could openly share about shame, depression and real issues, we wouldn't have so many people addicted to whatever or doing more extreme measures. Brene Brown's book on shame talks about this. Great book.
" It's the fear of judgement " totally agree.
I think it's interesting how you say empathy is in short supply and humans are cells just wanting to reproduce. A very rational way of looking at it, I couldn't agree more. I think as far as sharing your depression on social media, I don't think it's realistic. You should share your depression with your close friends and family. I don't people on social media really care about you when you're at your lowest. Unfortunately, I think that's how it works :/
Depression is becoming more and more of a threat to our livelihood. I can't count how many times I suffer from it in a week, and most of the time I have no genuine reason to feel that way, but I'm thankful that my friends cheer me up, when they're around. And if they're not, I find a way to come out of that place by myself by doing something to make me happy.
Honestly I feel like depression is spoken about in the media much more than it ever has been in the past. I never heard it mentioned when I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s . Unfortunately even though we hear a lot about it, the incidence of depression and the ability to treat it successfully doesn't seem to get any better. Suicides appear to certainly be on the rise.
I think that depression is very real. It was only until 3 years ago before i had 2 friends who took their own life because of depression. I had no knowledge about depression then.
But I read up on it and understand how comments like
can mean the whole world to them. Just a simple caring comment can change their mind from taking that step off a high-rise building.
Since then, I also follow this rule closely: 'If I have nothing nice or good to comment, I will keep my mouth shut.' The rule help me from saying stuffs which I know I will regret saying. 😅
The truth is nobody really feels the trouble of someone else and does not want to deal with it.
Awedome article. thanks
generalmente, la depresión es la consecuencia de algo que nos está sucediendo, puede ser la perdida de un ser querido, una enfermedad, una mala situación económica o problemas familiares. Aunque en algunos casos está presente alguna patología como: sindrome de ansiedad, bipolaridad, psicomanía. En cualquiera de los casos siempre se necesita atención médica especializada. Buen artículo. Reciba un gran saludo. Nos vemos en la cima.
It is so sad, because whenever you are depressed, you dont find anybody who can help you. And whenever someone tells you "Just get over it", you feel more depressed. The problem is that nobody can understand what you are dealing with at that moment, neither can you understand what is happening to others when they are depressed. You are the only one who can help yourself and come out of that state. And if you dont be strong and face it, you are lost :(
Having around the close friends, is the best solution for depression. Friend will make you forget all the pain in the world and made you shout with them in happiness.
I'm hoping because of your article people will realize something that depression is not easy to deal with it. Its a serious mind war between the person who experienced this kind of depression. We need to help them and understand more to help anyone who's suffering.
I think it comes down to education. Same with anxiety that I and friends have. People that don't experience depression or anxiety can't relate to what you're going though. It wasn't until I sat my spouse down and explained what I go through that she understood and works to help me in those anxious times. So essentially, like you said, say something! Don't be afraid to tell people how you're feeling. It's better to know people have your back than trying to go it alone.
i think it is better to say we should always accept depression, because its a normal body reaction. after that u can handle it, just u.
“having a really hard day, and just want to ball up on the floor and cry.” the firts thing that came to my mind was that people dont use to shere sad moments as you say after, we dont like others see us in hard moments, it is really hard to share pain and sufering. this post was very interesting.
In my own opinion people don’t talk about their depression because people don’t talk about depression period. If someone is depressed and they’re not talking to you about it, chances are it’s probably because you are not talking about it.