Great article! I really recognise the type,and I think I have been like that as well when I was younger.
The point I want to make is that I believe so many men are fragile in their masculinity,because masculinity is unnatural. Gender is a social construct,and masculinity and feminity are abstract constructs. Obviously they are based on a biological reality,I´m not denying that. But the biological reality makes up so very little of these constructs.
I´m a queerfeminist,and consider myself genderfluid,but I look like a normal guy,because I don´t work with my appearance. Masculinity is a trap for me though,and I wish I could get away from it, and be gender neutral.
But when you try to act outside of gender expectations , you are oftem met with incomprehension, ridicule,scepticism,and the breakdown of communication,especially in intimate encounters.
So, sadly I have not gotten too far out of the sinkhole of masculinity.
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I consider myself genderqueer as well, though I present as entirely female because, meh, who has time for dealing with all of that? Also I feel like my external presentation is so incredibly secondary to my internal feelings of gender. It's hard to explain.
I hear you about recognizing the type. I have lived for years with a man who respects me as a human being, who takes what I say seriously, who argues with me respectfully, and sees me as a full person, and never doubts his own manhood. So it's always a jarring experience to run into a man who operates from a place of fragile masculinity. It happens fairly regularly because men are absolutely terrified of what it might mean if they let this guise (or, as you put it, trap) slip.
I love that you call masculinity (and, I'm assuming, femininity?) a trap. It is, isn't it? It traps men and women and children and it stymies their growth as full people. Thanks for talking with me. I appreciate it. Good luck to you on escaping that sinkhole of masculinity. So many expectations! Such a mire!
Thank you! Yes to clarify, I think feminity is a trap as well. But I believe that the female gender role is subject to oppression more from a societal point of view,in terms of structural oppression. I believe,and this is just my subjective belief,that it is easier to be true to yourself being(or being perceived as) female.
But just after I wrote that,I find many counterexamples,making me want to take it back..
Maybe the biggest issue is male gendered people having problems expressing their emotions,and I certainly do myself.
I was "performing" the role of a woman in Second Life,and it felt quickly very natural,also to think of my " body" as a female one. And I really loved being a woman,although it was makebelief somehow. It felt oddly real. Sometimes I think that I will swith sex in the future,if we have insane nanotech,and it would be more trivial. But I´m still not trans..
I guess I´m just weird!
Oh by the way,read this awesome article on the topic of genderfluid!
https://steemit.com/howto/@derptard/how-to-effectively-repair-gender-fluid-leaks