@lexiconical I just recently commented on your post above. If you want a witnesses statement or a certain witness campaign they have to tie one to their witness setup titled "witness url."
SteemDB witness list
On this site each witness has a URL under their name. That link will take you to their mission and their witness specs.
Also there's many people on here that are from different countries where English is not their first language. The more they get to post or comment the more they get to practice. I would suggest to just bare with us a little on this part, because we want to be inviting to all.
The whole meme-witness things is just a way of having fun. There's a seriousness to being a witness and I don't think anyone that is not truly committed to their community would even do it. I truly believe it's perfectly okay to have fun here. We're just trying to enjoy ourselves while helping each other while growing the community.