Wish Away - a #zapfic

in #zapfic6 years ago

Pocket change, take a handful. Throw a coin in a fountain, make a wish. Throw in another, wishes can't come true fast enough. I toss all my coins away, wishing for riches. I watch them sink to the bottom. Maybe I should've saved my money...

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Pocket change, take a handful.

This line, I wanna read more (l'hook).

Throw a coin in a fountain, make a wish.

Á lá (Smack me if my French is wrong but: In the style of?) a cultural standard, now we got another premise.

Throw in another, wishes can't come true fast enough.

Now that was the fastest anime plot twist if I ever sawn one in my life. The material reality (bland reality) versus the wished reality contrast.

I toss all my coins away, wishing for riches.

Lotteries, 'nuff said because they scare me.

I watch them sink to the bottom.

Some pretty subtle showing / telling eloquently as I would say. But basically the draw before the final punch in any other World.

Maybe I should've saved my money...

A truth that comes after experience and rumination of such, one that funnily can be found in most MLM (multi-level marketing) schemes and lottery logic for which these people benefit from manipulating others. Here one could say the mere recognition is realizing that very bland reality, but it avoids that (because nobody can live on being in a bland reality) and informs of a more darker reality that people who do commit to such have no means of help, no means to access actual solid communities for assistance, no means of subsistence to overcome their illness properly and so on and so on. A deeply scaring reality that can be written in so few, the power of writing itself. But to take into the level of the individual is to already bring in yourself, so you can't diagnose one disease without taking other case-studies and this individual isn't a unique atom but part of other atoms like the narrator here. A fundamental crisis of society where one wishes and is willing to spend it all to get further is crushed by that system itself which then in turns benefits from these mental follies and does nothing to change it. For to change this reaping of suffering is detrimental to current operations. QED (Quod Erat Demonastrunam).

ha ha! Yes, wishes can't buy you much!

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The short sentences work really well here, each one feeling like a penny throw. On the surface, a nice story about the irony of throwing pennies away and wishing for riches, yet an undercurrent of human nature, and how we tend to chase the short term easy feel better.

For me, the line that really hinges this is

I watch them sink to the bottom

The rise and fall of hope captured in the simple act of making wishes, it conveys so well that gutted sinking feeling, the regret that follows. Wonderfully done! <3