itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago给人擦鞋的局长一个局长开着车去学校里接儿子,一看还有十多分钟,就让学校门口一个中年妇女擦皮鞋,一只皮鞋擦好后,儿子出来了,局长问道:“今天考试考得怎么样?”儿子摇摇头说:“考得不理想”。局长严厉地说:“你可要好好读书,不好好念书,考不上大学,长大后你就要像这位阿姨一样擦皮鞋。”皮鞋擦好后,局长带儿子上车。行至半路,手机响了,接通后得知是擦皮鞋的打来的,问他丢了什么东西?局itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago这就是我的江山想起来有一次和我妈逛菜市场。 我俩正商量着中午吃红烧鸡呢还是吃红烧牛肉呢,突然听到一个男人的低声感叹: “这,就是我的江山啊。” 说话间,还有一丝的小窃喜。 卧槽? 什么人,语气这么狂? 口气这么大? 什么年代了,还敢在菜市场占地为王? 身为中国特色社会主义的接班人,我怎么能容忍封建余党残存?…itsone (33)in #money • 6 years agoTwo aunts of warone After the National Day, the school’s “Best Auntie” selection campaign began. I am a student officer of the Propaganda Department. I am mainly responsible for the work of the…itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago分享篇看来的短文,猜猜看写的谁我走过山时 山不说话 我路过海时 海不说话 小毛驴滴滴答答 持倚天剑走天涯 大家都说我因为爱着杨过大侠 才在峨嵋山上出了家 其实我只是爱上了峨眉山上的云和霞 像极了十六岁那年的烟花itsone rebloggedberniesanders (77)in #notagoddamnnovel • 6 years agoGoing for a walk.It’s a beautiful day, time to take a little stroll.itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago赠品家人给表弟安排了一场相亲,见面时女方对他印象不错羞涩地说:“我不介意你没有房,没有车,没有存款,只要你对我好就行!” 结果这货来了句:“你肚子里不会是有赠品吧!?”itsone (33)in #blog • 6 years agoTransferred personI went to Yaoshan for the first time, and his home was a bit deserted. His father went out to work every morning, and only Yao’s mother was at home. She sat in the chair, looked…itsone (33)in #cn-malaysia • 6 years ago互相隐瞒的爱意父亲病危时,女孩正读高三。 医生说,他几乎不可能活过三个月。 父亲对家人百般叮嘱,千万瞒住快高考的女儿。统一口径说是小病住院。 那女孩与我同班,成绩优异。她父亲病危后我也数次在操场看见她,正在生龙活虎地打篮球。 如你们所预料到的,女孩高考稳定发挥进了全国top5的大学,而她的父亲,在高考之后去世了。…itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago妈妈的眼睛妈妈:儿子,如果妈妈眼睛瞎了怎么办? 儿子:我会送你去这里最好的医院治疗。 妈妈:如果这里最好的医院治不了怎么办? 儿子:我会送你去世界上最好的医院治疗。 妈妈:如果世界上的医院仍然治不好呢? 儿子:我会终身照顾你。 妈妈:好儿子,谢谢你。 儿子:妈妈,如果我眼睛瞎了怎么办? 妈妈:我会把我的眼睛换给你!itsone rebloggedanimal-shelter (79)in #colorchallenge • 6 years agoColorchallenge: indigoIt's time for grapes and plums. I found out that all our squirrels adore plums. I'm happy to watch them take their berries with their tiny paws and eat it with appetite. I'm…itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago暗恋的人毕业后多年。 她收到了他的结婚请柬。 犹豫再三,她还是决定去赴约。 他变得风度翩翩,十分健谈。他的新娘也很美丽,让她心里一阵伤感。 如果当年自己没有离开,那么站在他身旁的是不是就是自己? 虽然心里很不是滋味,她还是要走过去给他送去祝福。…itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago我的晚年有一位老人,用了毕生的积蓄,收藏了许多价值连城的古董。 他的老伴过世得早,留下三个孩子,可孩子长大后都出了国,有了自己的生活圈。 孩子不在身边,所幸老人还有个学生,跟进跟出地伺候他。 许多人都说:“看这年轻人,放着自己的正事不干,成天陪着老头子,好像很孝顺的样子。谁不知道,他是为了老头子的钱。”…itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago撒豆子年迈的老母亲行动不便,儿子养着一大家子人,生活很吃力。一天晚上,儿子跟媳妇商量说:“要不把妈背到山上丢了吧,实在养不起了。” 媳妇没说话,儿子抽了一晚上的烟,愁眉不展。 第二天早上,他下定了决心。傍晚,儿子跟母亲说要背她去山上走走,母亲吃力地爬上他的背。他一路都在想爬高点再丢下她,省得母亲自己又找回来。…itsone (33)in #cn-malaysia • 6 years ago一位特殊的朋友发大水了,交通瘫痪,她被困在楼里,百无聊赖地上网。一直不肯见面的网上好友发来信息说要面基,她开玩笑地说好啊。过了不久,听见有个女孩淌着齐腰的水来敲窗户,递给她一袋小面包。她笑着打开窗,假装不知道自己家住在二楼,也没有看见对方的鱼尾巴。itsone (33)in #cn • 6 years ago谢谢一辆高级进口车从度假村出来后,在乡村的泥道上抛锚了,身穿名牌西服的车主焦急地对围观的人喊着:“你们有谁愿意帮我爬进车底锁一下螺丝啊?” 原来他车子的油管出了问题,漏出来的油已经流到地面,而那里离最近的加油站有上百公里,难怪他急得像热锅上的蚂蚁。 他身旁打扮妖艳的女子鼓吹着说:“重赏之下,必有勇夫!”…itsone (33)in #money • 6 years agoMom, I am getting married next monthAt that time, it was just raining, the asphalt road was wet and cold, and the lights of green,yellow and red were flashing. We were hiding under the arcade and watching the…itsone rebloggedlivenow (54)in #cryptocurrency • 6 years agoArbiswap Magi BTC-XMG Arbitrage Deal Alert!We're detecting a possible noteworthy Magi arbitrage deal, please care to check both the Buy and Sell exchange pages and make sure that there is enough volume for you to turn…itsone (33)in #dive • 6 years agoOne hundredth guestNoon rush hour passed, the originally crowded snack bar, the guests have dispersed, the boss was about to breathe through the newspaper when someone came in. That's an old woman…itsone (33)in #money • 6 years agoA roseA gentleman stopped at the flower shop door. He planned to order a bunch of flowers at the flower shop and asked them to send them to the mother who was far away from home.…itsone (33)in #blockchain • 6 years agoThis is the crowMy father is 75 years old. One day, a crow flew.He asked: "Is this what?"Son: "It's a crow."After a while, my father asked again. The son said: "It’s a crow, what's the matter…