The biggest issue I have with this "debate" that goes on is that an-caps call everyone who isn't a capitalist an an-com, when in truth most forms anarchy/voluntaryism are based on cooperation, not competition. Capitalists also like to act as though they have a monopoly on the concept of free exchange, when that is included in most every economic model.
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I've seen that too, ancaps too quick to classify non-capitalist anarchists as ancoms. But for me, the difference is pretty clear. All self-proclaimed ancoms I have met or spoken with online share a few philosophical similarities that I just can't jive with on a moral basis. They do not believe in self-ownership; they do not accept the NAP; and they would not tolerate any capitalism occurring within their vision of a communist society.
It seems to me, though, that many non-capitalist anarchists misunderstand capitalism. They often seem to think that competition precludes cooperation, when in fact the two are complementary, and both can be practiced by the same individual or organization.
While capitalism is my preferred economic system, I have no problem with other systems co-existing, as long as people are not forced to participate in them. It is hard for me to envision communism being voluntary on a large scale, but it could happen.
Everyone I've interacted with who called themself an "anarcho-communist" were pure Marxists, using anarchist only in the mainsteam media definition, of angry people who wear a lot of black and like to break things. Most of the people/arguments that folks like Berwick shout down as "communists" are actually anarcho-mutualists, agorists, anarcho-syndicalists, etc., and the labeling and ignoring stops any real learning or dialogue from occurring. I'm actually working on a piece right now, coming at the same issue from the other side.
In my experience, MANY people who identify as anarcho-capitalist are actually just capitalists who don't want the state to interfere with their taking advantage of others. I've also noticed that almost all an-caps have never read any anarchist literature from pre-Rothbard (as in, most of it), and so don't seem to have a grasp on the history and basis of anarchist philosophy.
Personally I hate all of the labels and people identifying with them, and only really address them when I feel like it can help break down that identifying. As soon as someone picks a belief system, with it's saints (Mises & Rothbard in the ancap case), it closes their minds off to so much other information & insight that is available.
Obviously not pointing any of this specifically at you, but your post was a big impetus for laying out my feelings & grokking of these ideas.
Thank you, talk to you soon sister!