Hello friends. I need an angel today.
"Rising above", oil on canvas.
I have not posted anything in a week. I apologize for that. Honestly I miss your comments and presence on my blog. It very often cheers me up. And that's what I need the most these last few days.
Life is giving me some challenges which are not easy to surmount, and I admit that in those times I tend to close up in my micro world and minimize my contact with outer world. I decided to make an effort and still write a blog today.
OK so the challenge is my status in the country I truly love, and where, after 6 and half years, I feel at home- Canada. Today, I passed the last citizenship test. That was easy, my knowledge of Canadian history and general knowledge is solid. But the interview with the immigration officer did not go that well. She did not care in the least about the recommendation letters from prominent charities which I've been supporting for years and companies which recommended me as honorary citizen, she did not even read them. All she cared about is my documents proving my physical presence in Canada. I supplied what was necessary, but that was apparently not enough. She wants more and I don't know how to provide them.
Work in progress.
If my application gets rejected, it gets recorded in their system forever and all becomes just so much harder... I might even have to leave the ONE place I ever wanted to live- British Columbia. I get it, law is law and human factor does not play a role anymore. I don't blame her one least bit. Nevertheless I still feel down. Really down.
Those of you who immigrated in a country and went through the pain of becoming resident and later on citizen, on your own, understand how very frustrating this can be. And how the fear of losing your friends and home is always there, in the background...
I don't see myself as bad citizen. I do all the things I'm supposed to, even the ones I don't like doing- paying my taxes although state helped me in nothing to get me where I am, paying the Healthcare although I never go to doctor (vegan + yogi = no doctor needed so far) so I don't cost system a dime. I volunteer and I organize charity events and send checks from my own income to support locals in need. Not important...
I hate sounding like a victim. I do believe there is a higher purpose to everything, especially in challenging times. I am doing my best to let go and detach myself from whatever decision will come my way.
Maybe Universe needs me somewhere else. Or maybe I just need to relax and trust Life.
Here is my angel painting, on a day when I need it. I pray daily, but I always pray for humanity- for world peace and awakening of all humans. Maybe I'll put in few lines for myself in the coming weeks.
Sorry for not having anything better to say today. I hope you like the angel :)
Much Love to all of you,
Jan
@jankasparec
I will call on you today Angel! May you listen. Thank you.
This is what I find despicable about the whole immigration "debate". Someone like you should be welcomed with open arms and minimal hassle. Instead, you get every roadblock possible along the way. Now, perhaps that wouldn't be so disheartening, because you only appreciate it that much more when you finally get it, well, except for when you see crap like this...
“Canada will welcome you,” Trudeau invites refugees as Trump bans them .. (translation: let's just invite and welcome in the worst of the worst with open arms, those who want to replace our culture with theirs, and spit in the face of immigrants who work hard and desire to be a part of our community and our culture)
Sorry for the mini rant, beautiful painting too by the way!
Dear Alex @alexpmorris. Thank you for your kind message, it cheered me up! Things happen for a reason, and the system never works in a logical or "welcoming" way. It's an automated system with little human input at this point. Nevertheless I will not be victim of it. I will either pass or move on, but I will not feel defeated. Some other place will welcome me with open arms :) You know, lots of people worldwide appreciate my work so I am extremely grateful for that. This minor challenge should not discourage me. After all, my mission is for humanity, so it should not be that big of a problem so deliver it from somewhere else, if it comes to that. And yeah, Mr. Trudeau...you know politicians brother :) Thanks again and much love to you!
I'm glad at least my response cheered you up a bit. Hold your head high, and keep up the good fight! :)
Sorry to hear you're going through some rough times bud.. I wish I could offer some tangible help other than just words. But.. If there's nothing you can really do, or any further information you can provide to the government.. I guess you did all you can right? You should at least have a sense of umm.. Pride perhaps is the word, knowing that you at least tried.. Many people never try. But regardless of the outcome, at least you put your spirit into it and gave it a go!
Bummer if it doesn't work out, I hope it does.. But my heart goes out to you man. And I hope you can find a place you feel at home like you do there some day!
All the best to you, and a beautiful painting as usual. <3
Thanks bro @apolymask . Obviously the story is more complex than this short sum up...it's a long process. I did what I could and if it wasn't enough, oh well, I'll start somewhere else in my late 30 ies, it's not the end of the world. Thanks so much for your kind words. I feel your support and it means a lot. I been through harder and more "threatening" situations, but more like life or death scenarios, not like my vision of where I wanna live is in danger because of bureaucracy. Anyways, what will be will be. Thank you brother!
You're very welcome. I dunno why but I feel like you're a good soul in a way that is unusual. Like.. I don't often see someones posts online and think.. "That seems like a good guy! I hope good things happen to that one."
Maybe I'm wrong, but you definitely give off a vibe of a good person, so I would like to see good happen to you. Even though I don't really know you at all.. I just have a feeling that.. You're one of the good ones, lol. I feel like I've repeated that 3 times now and it's getting redundant.. But.. I don't say things like this very often, so it's worth repeating and emphasizing.
Glad to hear you are looking at all this in a bright light and aren't too beat down over it! I have a feeling where ever you end up finding yourself, that you will be a positive influence on those around you.. And.. Haha. As stupid or weird as this may sound, when you said you needed an angel.. Maybe you should look in the mirror. I get an angelic feeling from you. I wish you well on your journey, and all the best to you!
Thank you so much for saying all this @apolymask. I do not take it for granted, I cherish your view of me very much. I changed my vision of "what can I get from life" to "how can I help this Earth" few years ago. And that was THE turning point in my life. Yesterday I felt low, but even then, later in the evening, I was able to switch around my energy to gratitude and trust. Deep inside I KNOW that Universe helps us all and just wants the best for us, which is not always what our mind thinks is the best. What I may perceive as "bad" thing is just my lack of higher perspective. Wherever I'll end up is where I'm supposed to be to serve the Whole better, rather than fulfill my selfish dreams. Me and my spiritual brother @lichtblick (who I met here and since then in person in Prague last winter), we are building our vision how to impact world positively through my art and message. All will be well. Challenges are absolutely necessary to test one's Trust and level of commitment. Thanks again and much love to you.
You're welcome man. I generally agree with what you said and that kind of attitude, however.. I do think sometimes bad things happen, and no amount of perspective will help. BUT.. In your case and in many cases in life, things that seem bad at first, can end up being good things even.. And.. You still have your life and your health and a good spirit.. I think you'll do great whatever happens in this case! Cheers friend. Thanks for the nice sentiments and words. :)
Everything is good bro- like you have reflected yourself. If you would get denied that will be for a better reason. I have checked your horoscope like I told you you are in your illusionary 52 days phase combined with two- two cards. The two is always the card of fear so you have the tendcy to worry much more then usual. So take a deep breath and relax or better go to a massage :-) Send you love and guess today the games will begin.
Hey my brother @lichtblick ... you know how to cheer me up :) You know, that woman did not seem like an illusion and she gave me very specific notice about what I need to prove and I have no idea how to do it. In all cases I agree with you- this might all end up well- actually it will, even if it's NOT what I want NOW, it will be what is THE BEST :) Love you bro
Beautiful!
Yes,.... nice painting. I also need an angel today ! Nice ! :)
Hope you got it @happyphoenix !
Sorry to hear the BUM news Jan! Dont worry though! Your angels won't let that happen to you, im sure of it. If you really want to stay in Canada and make it your home, then BELIEVE! Something similar happened to me, but guess what miracles happen! ;) xo
Thanks love @jaimelee! Hope to see you soon!
All will be well in the end. I hope you can stay where you feel at home. Sending you love and light to brighten your thoughts. Also sending you a big Internet hug.
Your angel is magical as always
Thank you sweet @sumsum ! Much love your way!