Chocolate Milk, Finishing Art and a Bit of Poetry
I was going to take a picture of my chocolate milk. But it is gone already.
You can see what I have been working on though.
Feedback is always appreciated.
I mean, I could go with the theory that this is what you have to deal with and just sort of accept it.
I could wallow and feel the fear, letting it bleed into my bones. I could take it as a sign of shitty things to come...
I could do a lot of counterproductive measures, which all would be akin to sitting right here.
But that would be stupid and how I loathe the willfully ignorant.
I know that is not the way to handle things, but I don't lie. I kind of feel stuck.
I feel like this a lot lately, as my mind is unable to handle the things that it has been through lately. The universe seems to think that I have not had enough either. I'm stuck. I keep moving. I keep trying to swim and I am not making progress.
Confirmations of failure loom in my head and it is just about all of my energy to not be swept under by a wave of nothingness.
What the Fuck?
I swear just about every day is the same and I kind of wake up this way and just wonder why I bother. It takes a lot of effort to drag myself up from the depths of this depression. It's hard to remember that other people are feeling this as well. I don't know how people do it. Putting on rose-colored glasses and thinking it might be okay seems like faking it. I've been faking it till I make it for years and I want to be angry. I want to rage. I want to be left alone for days and that sounds like a grand idea until the codependency takes over.
The truth is... there is more to it than this.
Graffiti Knows What's Up!
I know that this feeling is, overwhelming at best. It isn't real. None of it is. I truly believe that. Talking about it only confirms.
Worrying about it manifests.
What actions are left?
The only one that I know that kind of works is to make the best of it.
When In Doubt - Go Back to the Basics
When the world gets like this, there is no choice but to go along to get along or to call it quits.
So, what is it going to be kids?
It's a new week, a new day.
How long are you going to let yourself get in your own way?
Every opportunity is one for change.
I, for one, am done complaining about this shit.
I know the future is up to me and no matter how I am pained, how many haunted dreams that visited me or what this world is versus how it is supposed to be...
With each action we take, there is a new possibility.
And it's not like we can remain... stagnant forever.
This is why I stick it out and prepare for change.
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This is truly one of the most rawest and truest posts I've read on here. Monday mornings bring about such similar thoughts and emotions in my brain, and heart. I especially loved this line: 'I'm stuck. I keep moving. I keep trying to swim and I am not making progress.' It resonates with me. I would further explain, but you have done so perfectly in: 'I swear just about every day is the same and I kind of wake up this way and just wonder why I bother.' Well done, and thank you so much for sharing this with us all! I hope things get better for you!
PS: I invite you to check out my page, and also, to click the link in my bio, if you have the time and are interested, as I have recently released a poetry book. :)
Why thank you. Truthfully, I can't do much more than to keep things raw and real. Hiding anything takes too much time and while I know it will get better (it always does for a while at least) it is almost more than I can bare on some days. This is the growth process though. Things are always moving.
Truth, it always goes away, and you do 'heal', or so to say, only to go back to even darker days, but that is is the process of living. I actually had one of those days yesterday, but today I woke up better than ever. It's very interesting.
I woke up better today. I am going to post about that next. No art with it, but the writing was much longer :)
That's great to hear! I can't wait to read it. :)