One of my goals with steem is to share my writing so that i can improve and refine my style. i know i still have some trouble with my structuring and punctuation. so today i will be posting a Teaser and then i will be making weekly posts and updates it.
He stood outside Lynardis Academy, the sun shining brilliantly against the alabaster stoneworked street. One more long day done with. Nelis and Telraynis come storming out of the doors and down the cental path, after a moments search then run towards Vladiven " Vlad, have you heard?" bursts Nelis. Telraynis is still catching his breath hunched behind a rather sweaty Nelis. "The lock down, I know why its going on" Nelis continues. " Every combatant of A or higher is on full alert because an S class showed up. One of those things on the Aeigas Compact. The thing is, I heard it's Khano." Telraynis stands to his feet quickly as if remembering why he ran to begin with. "I thought it was weird that all the senior staff had seemed to dissapear around the same time." Telraynis shifts his gaze assuring they were out of ear shot of anyone " So I snuck around a bit, drifted out the window and around the the main building. I was keeping close to the roof when I saw a member of the High Council Entering Lynardis from the eastern field. So I drifted back in , hid in the rafters , and waited. Sure enough it was Councilman Nihilstrum , noticeably nervous about something . He was swiftly moving though the east hall where he met up with a few of the staff, who were wearing full combat gear , giving them instructions quietly. That's when I heard it. Master Felgrin blurted out 'Khano' a little to loud before he was hushed by Nihilstrum"
Vladiven's heart sank into the pit of his stomach " That's impossible! There is no way you heard him right , We would know if that's who it is " Vladiven shouts as he takes off into a full sprint . He nearly knocks three other students to the ground as he starts gaining traction. (Him..). Now with each step brings a small eruption beneath his feet propelling him further through the courtyard and out the main gate. (It has to be impossible) With a final eruption launching Vladiven into the air he lands against the main gate wall , his hands meld into the stone wall with ease. (But if it is him , I wonder if he will come for it) Unmelding a hand to reach up and re meld , he scatters up the rest of the gate until he reaches the top of the West tower. (So if I know that it's not him then why am I making a scene and moving like.....like it could be. Rushing like he could actually be......) Vladiven stands upon the towers, his iron boots melted into the roof to help him stand against the winds. " Alive!?" Vladiven drops to his knees dumb struck at what he beheld. Night setting into crimson sky , behind the glare of the sun , the horizan burns.
I love the descriptors you used, alabaster roads, crimson sky etc. Certainly sets a level of visuals, that if not setting the picture in your minds eye, at least lends to the mood and overall impressions.
I'm taking the bait, you left just enough in to establish some settings, but took out enough to intrigue. Looking forward to more, and maybe a little more universe expanding.
If you want to work on your formatting and stuff Here is a markdown tutorial, markdown is the language that let's you bold Italicize and otherwise format things to flow a little better, or add emphasis to important parts.
Thanks for the upload, and I look forward to more!
Edit: tags are important, and you only get 5. on the left side of your main feed is a list of tags, you can also search them more in depth here you can sort them by posts, comments, and payouts, the first tag in your array is the 'Main Tag' and will be the one your post is found under. Proper tagging can mean a lot more exposure to the kinds of people that want to see your content.
Thank you very much and solid advice. i didn't know what tags to use, so ill do that from now on. the markdown tutorial ill be checking out now.
Glad I could help
Markdown will take a little time to work out, don't get discouraged. When you type out a body of text or comment, the display underneath it will show the preview. Take your time, no one expects you to come here and be a pro on post 1 :) .
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