Are you objecting to my using "hissed" as a dialogue tag? Or is it not clear why Sam is shocked? It's because Jake brought a firearm into Nightmare.
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Are you objecting to my using "hissed" as a dialogue tag? Or is it not clear why Sam is shocked? It's because Jake brought a firearm into Nightmare.
In your original copy, I suggest you change 'shown' with 'shone'.
I'm enjoying binging on your story too much to stop and comment right now.
Thanks for your comments, and you're right, it should be "shone".