Ok, First of all, let me tell u one thing. I am a very positive optimistic person. I mean very patient, understanding, caring etc. But we are not all perfect. I am pretty messy and unorganized. I have my flaws. Things I am not proud of.
There is one thing though that transcends in every culture, religion, race. That is Love.
But love is interpreted differently by every single being. Some people believe love is always being there for one another. While for some it means sticking with each other no matter what life throws at u. And for others it's about a connection, sparks, something that we can't quite pin point.
But for me I guess It's about the little things and the things I didn't have when I was little. It's about holding me when I am falling apart, Kissing me when I am yelling at you, loving me unconditionally. And Sometimes I wonder if I am just nuts. If I have to high of expectations. But I think that we get what we envision. So then if I have all these illusions or expectations of what I want in a romantic relationship, is it possible to expect to find one with all the attributes and ways of thinking that I want.
But when we fall, we don't go through our list to see if that being checks everything off. We actually just fall and believe that everything else will work itself out. Will come together.
At times I find myself wondering if I am wrong for wanting to detach from someone I have given up belief in. For standing up to my own beliefs and standards. Or if it's right to just settle for the path I chose and deal with my situation knowing it was my choice, and I knew I would not have it all, but I would have enough.
Just wanted to give a hug 🤗
Relationship is a hard work for sure. In marriage I learned of compromising a lot, because you love the other person and want to make it work. It is not easy and you aren't the only one. I am the same, wanting what you want. Hang in there, but if it's becoming toxic, you aren't happy, there should be a way out.
Cheers
Ty I do welcome hugs!