So.. I wanted to try to respond to most of the meaningful messages before I posted new stuff, though..
At this point I may never respond to many if not most of those messages.
That doesn't mean I'm completely leaving or that I won't respond to you anymore, just that you shouldn't expect much from me anymore.
Cause.. The other day I looked closer at my eyes than I have in a while and found a couple brownish/yellow sort of spots, and.. It could be harmless and benign or I guess it could be signs of cancer or something very unpleasant as well.
I can't really afford to spend a couple hundred dollars right now to get it checked out so I'm going to try some natural remedies for about a month and if it hasn't cleared up by then I'll probably go get it looked at by a doc.
I don't really think it is cancer or something extremely bad. Mainly the reason I think that is because stuff like spots in the eyes are actually pretty common the more you age and a lot of people have stuff like that in their eyes that are benign or sort of not serious and I feel like too much "screen" use would be the main culprit for an issue and if it was too much screen use I would imagine there would be a lot of other people getting similar issues if that was the case and from a quick Google search I was not able to verify that or find that data.
I guess it could be though. I don't know. I think I'm going to get one of those pairs of computer glasses that is suppose to cut down on blue light, I hear that helps some people a lot. And I'm also just trying to only use screens for the most important stuff now and working on getting out in nature a lot more to stretch and exercise my eyes.
Even if it WAS cancer.. I really doubt I would try drugs or chemo or surgery or any of that. I believe in nature much more to heal than doctors for most things outside of like perhaps traumatic injuries like broken bones and such.
I think if I just stop causing the stress so much, and start doing healing and helpful things that should make the difference and I'd rather take my chances I think with nature than doctors who would probably kill or maim me.
Whether this is anything more serious or not, I'm taking it as a wake up call to drastically reduce my screen time, and already I feel like I've noticed my eyes feel a lot less tired over the last number of days.
I still plan on finishing the movie I was working on and sharing my photography, and doing the IFC, and posting my thoughts on politics and the world from time to time.. I'm not totally bowing out, just drastically reducing my time spent in front of screens.
Also. I'm not looking for any pity. I knew the risks and I made the choice a long time ago to try to help the world as much as I could. I knew I could damage my eyes and I knew much worse could happen. I accept my choices and the consequences they potentially brought.
It was worth it no matter what happens. My heart called to me to live the way I did. I don't regret my choice.
I only regret that I wasn't able to help more or really do much significant in the bigger picture.
It was cool getting to know you all and sharing some of this life with you.
Much love always and.. I'll be around in spirit even if I'm not physically around as much. <3
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure it's nothing to be alarmed by but it can be a bit scary nonetheless when you notice things like that. Definitly do what you got to do to take care of yourself. I look forward to your return :)
Take care man
Posted using Partiko Android
Thanks for your concern and sentiments man. I appreciate it. And yeah.. It is alarming though as you said probably nothing to be alarmed by and probably not cancer or anything really serious. Hopefully anyways. And hey as I mentioned I'll still be around, just not as often/much for at least a month until I get it checked out and then probably still less in general cause this was a wake up call to pay more attention to the health of my eyes and to use screens less when possible.
Take care of yourself bud, I'm sure things will work out good for you. I don't believe our bodies were meant to have too much screen exposure. Too much of anything is bad. Recover and heal, and the IFC should be the least of your worries man. The IFC alone will take a lot of time away from healing yourself which is MUCH more important.
There's for looking out for me man and for the encouragement and optimism. And I agree, life seems to largely be about balance and too much of anything is bad, I used screens too much! Time to cut back. In regards to the IFC.. It's such an important thing to me, and.. The new seasons will be much shorter and I'll be doing a lot less work, and.. If we get sponsored by curie (Which I applied for help for recently) or some other entity who could help in similar manner then I can mostly just serve as a ceremonial figure and can pay others to do most of the work in the future.. So I'm sure we'll figure out a way to make it work! :)
You get better. Please remember that thoughts are powerful and the body follows what they say. So think positive and it will help your body work at its peak efficiency.
Thanks bud! I appreciate you caring. And.. You're right. Thoughts are very powerful.. I think if we slip into too much hopelessness it can make it much more difficult to heal so trying to look at things in the right way is definitely important. I was reminded even more of this recently and as much as the good times are good in life, it almost invariably comes time to deal with the difficult and dark as well so we should not get too comfortable in the lack of struggle.. It will be back until we no longer come back physically I would imagine. Cheers friend. I will do my best.