Yeah, the eye contact thing was a hard thing for me to tackle. When I first became aware that eye contact was important I felt like a monkey in the wild. NO EYE CONTACT because to make eye contact means aggression.
Eventually I learned that a little aggression was a good thing and more people than not are very uncomfortable with real eye contact. They tend to focus on someone's nose, chin, or eyebrows; rarely the eyes.
Most of my social anxiety starts at the THOUGHT of getting dressed up and physically leaving my house but once I'm at a social engagement I'm fine. Most of the time I realize I'm having fun once I'm there. But I know my triggers so if I'm feeling overwhelmed I either spend a little extra time in the bathroom (if I'm in public) or I help out in the kitchen if I'm at someone's house. :)