What you write only sounds too familiar. It is said, that one makes a major change in life in ones early to mid forties, when you sort of really evaluate your life looking back and wonder if you've made the right decisions.
Happened for me big time and I pretty much turned everything upside down. Ended a bad relationship, major move and a new approach for my work.
Eventually you have to come to understand what happens, when you add any kind of energy or mass (same in the end) to a black hole... it gets bigger!!
You have a right for a bright beautiful future and unless you have a child, that's the only future you are responsible for :-)