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I have feelings... but what kind of feelings? That is the real question.

Just the normal kind why do you think I like you so much for no reason.

If they were normal feelings, I'd be a normal person... and normal is something I'm not.

That's good advice, but I find I can only talk to women if I've been drinking.

Thankfully for you, I ain't a woman. I think. :-D

Typical response from a computer that doesn't no what to say.

If I were a computer, I'd be doing some math... and I hate math!