Chris Voss opens this brilliant negotiation book with a genius attention-grabber. He hooks you from the very beginning with "We've got your son, Voss. Give us one million dollars or he dies." I'm not going to spoil the surprise; you'll have to read it to find out how the story ends.
Chris Voss worked his way up to the lead hostage negotiator for the FBI - A position in which failure is not an option, nor is splitting the difference.
What this book is not
He doesn't teach you how to strong-arm your opponent or show you manipulation strategies. This book is not about being a bully to get the things you want. It's not about trickery nor about win-lose negotiations.
What this book is
To call this a negotiation book doesn't do it justice. It's far from your typical negotiation book. It's a communication book. It's a learn how to make friends book. It's a earn a higher salary book. It's a strengthen your marriage book. It's a get a better deal on a car book. It's something that will help you in just about every aspect of your life.
How can it be all those things?
Voss teaches you communication, he teaches you empathy, and he shows you how to actively listen. With the lessons in this book, you learn how to get people to let their guard down by showing them you genuinely know where they're coming from. People will like you more, they'll trust you, and they'll give you what you want. Your opponent will reveal information they would've otherwise kept guarded and will end up negotiating against themselves.
Applying the principles to my life
I'll be reading this book again, in fact, probably several more times. I still have a lot of work to do before I'll master these concepts, but I've begun to apply them in my personal life with amazing results.
For example, the author teaches you to List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. This allows you to head off negative dynamics before they take root.
I can't count the number of times I've done something really stupid and my annoyed girlfriend says something along the lines of "Why would you say/do that?!?" Before reading this book, this may have turned into an argument.
But after learning these lessons, I simply reply "Because I'm an idiot."
Situation diffused. She can't be mad at me after I say that. In fact, depending on how mad she was, it can even make her laugh.
Book Giveaway - 3 Hardcover Copies!
In addition to my copy, I have three hardcover copies to give away! With an $18 book price plus $20 or more for international shipping, this is going to get expensive quickly, so I had to draw the line at three free books. If you're in the US, this will be much cheaper for me, but I'm opening this giveaway up to anyone, regardless of location.
How To Enter - Leave a comment saying you want a chance to win.
- Click "Reply" below this post
- Copy & Paste "Please enter me into the book giveaway."
- Click "Post"
You can also leave a substantive top-line comment and you'll automatically be entered.
How the winner will be determined:
- After payout, I'll count the number of top-level comments.
- Assume there are 100 comments, I'll use a random number generator to pick three numbers between 1 and 100
- If the number is "14" and you have the 14th top-level comment, you win! I'll reply to your comment and try to get in touch through steemit.chat.
How to get disqualified:
- Leave more than one top-level comment. (Replying to an existing comment is just fine; it will not count as an entry.)
- Comment from sock-puppet accounts.
I just ask that you have integrity and give others an equal chance of winning. Also, please only enter the drawing if you're going to read the book.
Upvotes and resteems are NOT required for a chance to win.
You know it's a good book when it's getting referenced multiple times on steemit: You don't get what you deserve in life (or steemit) You get what you negotiate.
Made that post a day ago and recommended Never Split the Difference to improve one's skills to find the win-win scenario!
Clearly I have a copy - good luck to the contestants! :-)
How funny! Do you want to be a part of the giveaway? You could gift it to a friend if you win.
Appreciate the offer - I already gifted some copies of it last Christmas :-) I will bow out of this one and let some new blood get the book. It's such a good read....just learning what type "negotiating personality" I have was enlightening.
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
I'm usually okay at communication, but it depends very much on how far out I've strayed from my comfort zone. I'm a pretty shy person, and tend to avoid selling myself. I believe that it has hurt my business, so I could always use some coaching up.
Thanks for entering. I appreciate the resteem!
Hi, friend @shenanigator,
Negotiating is an extremely important topic, and I'm glad you brought it up. Unfortunately most people haven't got a clue as to how it is done.
Many years ago, I transitioned from occasional consulting to full-time independent consulting. As part of that process, I listened to and studied a series of tapes on the topic of negotiation, kindly loaned to me by a friend of mine.
Everything is negotiable in life, any time you are dealing with another human being. When you happen to be the head of a household and trying to support your family, knowing even a few basic negotiating skills can may a huge difference in your ability to do so.
You've done the Steemit community a great service by drawing our attention to this, and Thank You for your generosity in gifting three books to some very blessed readers! ;)
😄😇😄
I'm one of those people without a clue, but I'm trying to learn ;)
Thanks for the resteem!
BTW, kudos on the "giveaway" aspect, and I just have to spit out this suggestion 'cause it pops into my head and bugs me every time I see your article:
If you happen to do another generous giveaway like this in the future, consider gifting Kindle versions of the book?
Good points, I'll definitely consider giving people that option in the future!
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
This book looks right up my alley. Being able to communicate and listen more effectively is one of my inherit weaknesses.
You're one of the winners! Are you on steemit.chat as sevinwilson?
I got the email about Steemit chat before seeing this! Yes I am!
Likewise, it's one of my weakest areas. I'm working to become a better communicator.
It is so important in all parts of life. I wish I realized it earlier!
Your girlfriend might argue that you've been an idiot long before you read this book. lol
–The Girlfriend
Hey, girlfriend. Quiet!
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
Every form of communication involves some kind of manipulation. Life is about deception and language is the main medium for doing so in humans. I was never good at applying the utilities of these books. I don't think anyone is. At the end of the day we all revert back to our ways. We can't change who were really are.
Entered!
I think there's a big difference between changing who we are and improving our communication skills. Do you view them as one in the same?
Yes because language is the only tool for expression that deals with how we perceive ourselves within society.
You're one of the winners! I know you're on steemit chat, so I'll contact you through there to get the shipping details.
thank you man
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
Thanks for the giveaway! Looks like a great read!
You're one of the winners! Are you on steemit.chat as jdawg?
That's great! I never win anything. I will get on steemit.chat later on this evening. I haven't used it yet, but I imagine its the same name. Thanks for the giveaway!
Perfect, sounds great! It's best to sign up with the same name. But DO NOT use the same password that you use for Steemit.
Did you get a chance to sign up yet?
I tried last night but for some reason couldn't get it to work. I'm at work right now. I will try when I get home later this evening. Sorry for delay.
No problem. I just want to get you the book without any of our private info being permanently posted on the blockchain.
I was able to sign up. I clicked on your name. Is that where I post my info? Is that a private conversation? Sorry, it's taking so long.
Awesome, entered!
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
i have a hard time commuicating AND listening according to my parent,siblings freind pretty much everyone really.
Thanks for the recommendation. I have been looking for a new book, having finished my last one yesterday. I will look this one up.
Please enter me into the book giveaway
To say
it's great!!
If you don't?
The giveaway is open to everyone, regardless of location. I already have the books and I'm paying for the shipping. Thanks for entering!
Wow!!!! Now you only have to win, @shenanigator=)))
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
I really want this book for a very good friend
So you are doing Steemit Book Reviews for those looking for a book to better themselves. Upvoted for being clever and a niche for steemians into improving oneself in books.
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
A friend of mine already brought Chris Voss to my attention. I have been avidly devouring any YouTube videos I have found on Chris and his work. His approach could make life so much easier for everyone willing to listen and put it into practice. His stories and insights are fascinating. I would love to get my hands on the book. =)
Upvoted.
Negotiation has never been my strong point. I do not value myself very highly / would always sacrifice myself for others.
This may be a very good book for my type of person to read.
I hope that you will write further excerpts and your thoughts on what this book taught you, here on Steemit.
I may even work out how to get an amazon gift card to get this book myself.
Don't buy it yet because you might win one of three that I'm giving away! That's a good idea, I might write some more blog posts talking about the lessons from this book.
Don't forget to get an amazon affiliate link...
Not everyone who reads a book reads it in the same way or gets the same things out of it. It is really helpful to listen to other points of view on how they conceptualized the knowledge within. I look forward to your
blogSteemit posts.My life needs renegotiated and I am an avid reader.
Fingers crossed.
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
This book has been on my amazon basket since I heard a podcast with the author. Seemed fascinating.
Well if I win, I'll do an in depth analyses of the book here in steemit.
Good post
Was it the Tom Woods show? That's how I heard about it.
No, It was "The Art of Charm" I believe.
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
Please enter me into the book giveaway.
Ooohhh there's nothing like a juicy negotiation book to get me all excited. And, it sounds like this one goes so much deeper than "regular old negotiation".
I can't wait to read it! Thanks for the great post!
Update of winners:
To determine the winners, I'm sorting the comments by "age," so the newest comment shows up first. There are a couple comments who are ineligible (my girlfriend and someone who asked to be excluded), so if one of those numbers is picked, I'll generate another number.
There are 18 top-level comments, so I'm using a random-number generator to choose a number with the minimum set at 1 and the maximum set at 18.
I'll try to get it touch with the winners through steemit.chat
These are the numbers:
17 - Winner is @jdawg
2 - Winner is @kyriacos
5 - Winner would have been @scaredycatguide, but they already have the book and asked not to be included in the drawing.
Generating a replacement number:
18 - Winner is @sevinwilson