The Broken Buddha, A Critcal Review of Theravada Buddhism and A Plea For A New Buddhism
I had an opposite experience. But I went looking for a Buddhist Teacher and found a Korean center in Gresham Oregon. Mahayana Korean Zen has its own problems, which my teacher a Korean Monk, we were both in our 30s at the time, he told me about lots of corruption and broken vows.
My teacher treated me as if I was a Buddha, he became my first real male friend. He never did or said anything inappropriate and taught me true compassion. Even if you are broken and wild like me there is the potential within you to become free, to become a Buddha. Sunim helped me break free from trauma conditioning brought on by childhood sexual abuse by my stepfather. I owe him and the Korean community my life, they helped me save myself and my family.
Buddhism is not about gods or deities, its not about earning merits, it's about the letting go of aversion, craving, and ignorance regarding who you truly are and seeing reality as it is not as you wish it to be...
Men abused me but I don't hate all men, my Mom abandoned me, but I don't distrust all women, however I am also very careful, I don't trust anyone until I've known them personally for a couple years.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience @stellebelle, but not everyone has had a bad experience with Buddhist Monks