It's all over the internet, but if you haven't seen it here is the video of Katy Perry tricking a 19 year old boy by kissing him. Just in case you have not seen the video, I have posted it above (please note the video is not my video, and I have no rights to it). I know this may be one of my most controversial posts and I am okay with that because ever since I've seen this video it hasn't settled well with me. I read different articles about this incident and even though Benjamin Glaze was uncomfortable with the Katy Perry kiss, it seems like he is trying to blow it off.
I'm glad Benjamin did not feel worse than just uncomfortable about the situation. However, uncomfortable is not okay. Benjamin had never kissed a girl before because he came from a conservative background. At 19, he had never even dated a girl before. In the United States that is a big deal and quite unusual. He stated in an interview that if Katy would have asked to kiss him, he would have said no because he wanted his first kiss to be special. Here is a link for the story: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/katy-perry-american-idol-witness-kiss-contestant-upset-a8257726.html
The "Me Too" movement is going on as we speak. Names of powerful men in Hollywood are being turned over left and right for sexual misconduct. We forget that women can be guilty of misconduct too. I know plenty of people who would think he was lucky that Katy Perry kissed him, and he should like it. In reality that is what women are told all the time. A few years back, I experienced sexual harassment and I was told, "you should like it, you should take it as a compliment." We have to stop that mentality.
Katy Perry is 33 and Benjamin is now 20, so that means at the time Katy was probably 32. If we turned this around, and it was a 19 year old female saying she had never dated or kissed a guy, and a 32 year old male kissed her, would people look at it differently? We cannot have a double standard to sexual misconduct. Women should not be treated any different when they do something sexually inappropriate.
I think we should all be cautious of what we do, whether we are male or female. I know our world is overly sexualized through music and media, but we cannot let that influence us to make someone else uncomfortable, or worse, victimized. Benjamin could have easily felt victimized. Even though he did not report that he felt like that, it would have been okay if he did. He had something taken away from him that he shouldn't have, and that was his first kiss.
Despite a first kiss being really special, no one should force a kiss on anyone even if it is someone who has kissed hundreds of people. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment of what we want, or think is cool, and sometimes we just need to slow down and think about right and wrong. We have to say no to even the smaller issues like a peck on the lips because we need to draw a clear line with sexual misconduct. To me, it is obvious that society needs to put strong boundaries up on what is sexual misconduct since somehow and somewhere society has blurred those lines with media and unacceptable tolerance.
I agree, if the roles were reversed and a male star kissed a 19-year-old female, the internet would be thrown into a rage.
And yes, I realize I am replying to post very late! I am a new follower, so I am just catching up on some of your posts :)
Thanks for looking at my posts. I appreciate you taking time to go through them even if they are older. Welcome to Steemit!
We should indeed not make a difference between men and women. I firmly believe a female abusing a male can do as much damage. Why make a difference if we fight to be equal. He is absolutely allowed not to want to be kissed.
There is a part that's maybe even a bit more cringing. His ordeal is filmed and was on tv for everybody to see. I can not imagine how the outrage would be if the roles were reversed and put on television.
I agree, for it to be so public could be quite embarrassing for a first kiss.
This brings me to Ellen De Generes. I may get a lot of hate for this but just look how she takes advantage (for the lack of words) of guys on her show. I like her but the way she treats guys as toys and shows it on national TV is something I don't quiet comprehend. If she can do that live on TV, what happens off cam? I'm just saying.
I don't watch her show, so I haven't seen how she treats men. I will have to observe it one day. I think a lot of things on tv are overly sexualized now. It can be disturbing at times.
She lets guys strip their shirts off on her show sometimes others were left with just boxers on.
I read this a couple of days ago and my heart sank for him. You are right, he was saving his 1st kiss and that should not have been taken away from him.
It would have been looked at differently had the sexes been reversed.
I think it is sweet when young people are saving themselves to make things like their first kiss special. Some entitled acting pop star has no right to try and take that from someone.
To me it's not a problem
I'm giving you an upvote out of courtesy since you commented on my post. However, I am not agreeing that it isn't a problem. Please share why you do not feel it's not a problem.
I have watched that auditioned last week, simultaneously telecast here. At first I thought it is just okay and for entertainment purpose only plus the fact that have instilled in my mind since when I was young that other foreigners are more liberated, but when I read your post, It makes me think. What if Katy Perry is the one who was kissed by this boy, maybe the boy will be charged by the singer of sexual misconduct. You were right, if we seek equality, what is applicable to men should also be applicable to women. The more that we accepted that kind of act (steeling a kiss) the more it will be a norm in the society, and when it becomes a norm, then who will fight for those who were victims of sexual misconduct? This is a great topic. I think if it is not yet put into a law, or perhaps if it's already in the law, the lawmakers should reexamine it and make a stricter policy about it. Katy Perry not only kissed a girl now but also a boy. Hihi ;)
I am so glad that my post helped you come to that conclusion. That is the point I meant to make, is that this should not become a norm in society for anyone, male or female. We need to stop making things like this seem normal. It isn't normal to sneak in a kiss on someone, it is intrusive.
I did not see anything terrible in this kiss. even the fact that she kissed him on the lips, I think did not make this kiss special. she just just touched his lips and everything, but not something more intimate done. people tend to exaggerate the significance of certain things. the guy has become a real star, now everyone knows him, I think he made a good PR on this kiss with the star.
That is an issue that people think he should be happy to have benefited from the PR from the kiss. I don't think it is okay even though the kiss wasn't intimate. It is his body, and no one should ever infringe on it if it is unwanted. I knew a guy once who was really flirty like Katy and good looking. He had girls left and right. I never thought he would stoop low, but he ended up getting charges for groping an 18 year old girl. He let it get to his head that most people would just want the sexual attention he gave them. In reality, not everyone wants that attention.
in Russia there is no such thing (((here, alas, men allow themselves more than they should. Many wrote in the press about Depardieu, that he liked to live with us, because he could touch the girls who worked with him and none of them complained to the police, some even considered it a compliment, that such a star paid attention to them.If we had a pop star who kissed a young guy, no one would have discussed it from such a position. alas, we are all much worse than in America and many countries of Europe, women do not complain that they are pestered by a man, men especially never do this.
To me that is heartbreaking. I know it may be a difference in culture. I'm not trying to step on anyone's culture. However, I think a person should not be touched unless they want to be touched. Sexual misconduct is an issue that exist across the board in all countries. Women in the US are assaulted at high rates. We may be more vocal about it, but it takes being vocal for it to stop. I am hoping the women who are stepping forward in Hollywood help minimize the issue at least among celebrities because predators will know that they will lose it all if they keep doing those kinds of behaviors.
it seems to me in our country for a long time to offend women and they will remain silent, because if something terrible happens, most often say that the woman was guilty: she dressed defiantly, walked alone along the street when it was dark ... one hundred reasons for that to call a woman dissolute, and not a male rapist or dissolute ...
Wow that is terrible. Sometimes people try to say that here and try to make it like the woman was asking for it, but it's not right.
I agree, there definitely shouldn't be a double standard. Our bodies are our own regardless of gender and circumstances. People like Katy Perry should be role models. Sex is so glorified with men that not accepting something like this as good would probably make you seem like less of a man. Great topic discussion and great post!
Thank you friend! I am so glad you chimed in and spoke as a man about this subject. :)
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