I think that the most important job of a parent is to help the child think and make good choices based on their own learning process.
It is not good to force them to do anything unless it is safety related and there is no time to explain.
It is important to let them know the value of love, respect, and trust at a young age. Teach them to earn respect and trust - love is unconditional.
The end result should be their ability to present their choices and earn your respect for their choices. Teach them how to make that presentation.
to be able to think critically is key - it is wisdom.
Punishment leads to ... not wisdom, but blind obedience.
All the best!
For boys, they refused to communicate with you. If kids are spirited I doubt you have to find another way to work it out. Your suggestions are very good. I hope I could control myself when kids are impossible. Thank you so much!Parents should be more wisdom than their kids:p
You should really check out the movie:
The first lesson:
Yes, not in words. Just like training wild horses, you must understand their language. That's why men, as mentors, will help the boys better than mom.
So, what is mom to do?
In the movie, lesson one was Mrs. Miracle communicated in the boy's language right off the bat ...
And she continues.
In later lessons, she communicated in words but, also in the ways that the boys would accept - not confrontational or directly addressing the issues ...
Boys and men "do not like" (hate) others - girls, women and even mom - to tell them what to do.
Need to be subtle, indirect hints, or by body language or actions.
Watch the movie and learn.