There are a lot of people out there looking for an edge to increase their productivity. People are constantly looking for shortcuts to reach their fullest productive potential. There are even a number of people that can fart on command. But I'm going to give you the key tip in unleashing your productivity animal each and every day. Incidentally, in high school I had this friend who could fart whenever asked. It's like he somehow sucked wind into his ass then shot it out with force unleashing a loud and uncomfortably wet sounding fart. Actually, he also used to scare everyone in class by pulling out his wang and spinning it around. Wonder what happened to him. True story.
Some people struggle with this important step in becoming productive. Some people don't even know about this step and go through their lives not knowing they missed it. I have a few friends that loved to watch Ren & Stimpy re-runs. My favorite was the one where they played "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence". It's my favorite because I actually did whiz on an electric fence when I was younger and it startlingly shocked my genitals. But, this was before binging shows on the internet. We recorded all the episodes on VHS and we'd watch them over and over again. Rewinding the tape back then was such a pain but it was accepted as part of the video entertainment experience. Now-a-days you'd probably just throw the tape away and buy a new one that started at the beginning. Be kind and rewind!
Anyway, in order to be the most productive you need to start the day with this one important element. How some people can miss this is beyond me, but they do. I remember this one fishing trip where I was in a paddle boat on a friend's pond. Let me rephrase that...my friend knew where this pond was but we didn't know who owned it. I hooked into a monster catfish and fought him for about 20 minutes before he decided to accept his fate. I got him up into the paddle boat with me. Naturally that's when he decided to make a last ditch effort to escape. He thrashed all around and repeatedly drove his pectoral fin spikes into my feet. I was screaming like a school girl but eventually kicked him back into the water. We ended up hearing a truck speeding up the road towards the pond so we swam for the shore and hid in the woods while the owner tried to figure out how to get the paddle boat back from the middle of the pond. I've been scared to catch a catfish ever since.
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Without this most important production inducing step you could be robbing yourself of the most productivity you've ever experienced. I honestly do not know how you can miss this step but people do. I'm guessing they just weren't educated in the most rudimentary productivity inducing methods known to man. It's inherent but they still miss it. It's mind boggling. It's like that day when I went mountain biking. We hit a downhill portion of the trail and I was moving at a decent speed...far too fast. My tire got caught on a root which forced me me off the trail deeper into the wood. I narrowly missed a tree with some skillful maneuvering only to be met by another tree. Who puts this many damn trees in a forest? This tree, I'm convinced anyway, actually moved right into my path. My shoulder hit this delinquent tree which stopped me dead in my tracks. I then hit the ground behind my bike. When I awoke I saw shapes moving above me. I was convinced the trees were asking me if I was OK. Turns out it was just my friends.
So now that I explained all that, how will you implement this crucial step into your life? How will you turn your mediocre productivity into superstar productivity? I'd love to hear how you've used this priceless knowledge to make the most productive you. Leave a comment.
Well, you got me. I guess I'll wait for part two now.
I guess I gotta write a part two now. :)
There. I feel better.
Extremely generous. Thank you.
i'd curie this. Good one!
Thanks for the kind words.
Whew, almost missed this -- the post I've been waiting for! :->
Definite hilarity enclosed. Sounds like you have plenty of adventure stories, with a dash of funny. And the bonus thought-provoking productivity question at the end was a sophisticated touch.
Let's see, if laughter is the best medicine your post gave me a heavy dose of good cheer, which allowed me to sail smoothly into this Tuesday evening.
“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” - Seneca Thank you for the kind words!