Yes HAHA or LOL, whatever it takes to get us all laughing.
Rules are simple:
Must post a joke in comment.
Please no foul language.
Please do not make it a long read.
Better be funny.
There will be 3 judges.
Will Vote out 3 places 1. 100% 2. 50% 3. 25%
Will announce winner on Day 5
Are there any questions?
Holy cow a lot of jokes to read.
My buddy's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left off to college?
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity!
That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!
Great idea!! Should be fun.
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey. After drinking the shot he looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again and then finally leaves.
The next night the man comes back to the bar and again orders a shot of whiskey. Like the night before after each shot he again looks down into his pocket.
Finally, the bartender asks why he looks into his pocket each time after he takes a shot of whiskey.
The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I know it's time to go home."
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
This made me laugh!!!
I like it!
Its good to laugh. thanks
Now that you laugh
Here is an up vote to make you smile
@evlachsblog
How did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?
He drank it before it was cool.
Why do hipsters like using the subway? Because its underground
Man i hope hipster jokes turn into the chuck norris popularity
Not mine, but I like it:
i think using a "#" joke contest will be effective... if any one wants to participate.
Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while...
I rowed my bike at midnight past the cemetery. I feel my bike is getting heavier. I think in ghost disturbance. I ran away from the bike. tomorrow morning i go with my dad to take it .. it is just a rope that twisted in the gap tire
"Joke"
Posted joke above, I hope I win. :)
Tether is backed 1:1 by US dollars.
Now that is Hilarious!
mvp!
I don't know. I'm German, so humour is not my strong suit. Once I entered ten puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
In the bid to burn 10 pounds per day
Very funny
This made all my friends laugh, I hope you too:
Judy, do you think I'm a bad mother ?
My name is Mary.
A man went to Church on Sunday and gave testimony that he was infected with ebola and
God had healed him.
When he had finished, he tried to give the microphone to the 2nd man but the 2nd man
refused to take it.
2ND MAN- I have no testimony. Give it to Pastor.
PASTOR- I'm not in charge of testimonies so give it
to the Senior Pastor.
SENIOR PASTOR- Brother in Christ, the microphone is yours. It's a gift from the Church. You may take it home.
A DRUNK is stopped at four in the morning by a POLICE who reprimands him:
The drunk, completely drunk, answers:
MEN WILL BE LIKE YOU ARE THE ONLY FLOWER IN MY GARDEN...AMD LADIES BELIEVE...HMMM HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GARDEN WITH ONE FLOWER?
Not unless it's a rose!
honestly i know three ways of hearing the news
1.the internet
2.radio/tv
3.women
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large-breasted crab?
One's a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you do with a full brain and an empty wallet?
Steem it!
Nice one, bro. Followed.
...said no-won ever 😊
😂😂. Lol. More like said every spammer on steemit. This should totally win.
Nice
A guy walks into a bar...
Ouch...
Two tomatoes crossing a road.
First tomato screams to the other: "Look out for that ca..pfttt"
Second tomato: "Which ca...pfttt"
I Want my house to be tidy enough that if someone pops by unexpectedly it don't look like I'm six days into battling a poltergeist
Women “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”
Vs Men “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”
VS
Does anyone use the Squatty Potty? Its reminds me of when I was a kid & used to do cannonballs in the pool. But instead your taking an aggressive dump.
"Theres No Difference Between Bitconnect Coin & Litecoin, there both a currency" - January 22, 2018
Q: What is the definition of an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic?
A: That's the person who lies awake half the night wondering if there really is a dog.
PINOY JOKE
One day a father and son had a short conversation.
Son: Dad, I have a drug test tommorow. What should I do?(while laughing)
The son is a drug user but his father didn't know about it.
Father: Ha! Then why are you laughing at. Take your review!
Whose the drug addict now?
Laughter is the best medicine! So, LAUGH NOW STEEMIANS!
Respect
Good contest ... @bigram13
I hope we can be freinds ...
I'm in!!!!! great contest thank you for putting it together...
Once upon a time my kid decided to take a shower without arguing.
And then he was clean.
Doctor's Visit Doctor: "What seems to be the problem today?" Patient: "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient: "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times." "Hmm," says the Doctor, as he picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled "Thank you Doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?" "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses, it stinks like a fermented diaper in here. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
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Pete and Repeat go in a boat
Pete false in water
Who rest in a boat?
Answer= Repeat...lol u repeat always :P
😁Haha
Please vote
what a fool!!! hahahaha forgot the joke!!!!
As I had a drink in the afternoon in my porch I saw an ant coming by, feeling jolly I sprinkle a little bit of sugar near it, no doubt little by little the ant was having a ball on feeding out of the sugar, moments later I notice that the ant went way to tell the other ants about the little sugar pile that she had discovered and when it happen I grabbed a cloth and cleaned up all the sugar that I had laid for the little ant, there were about 500 ants that showed up later along with that first ant... I can only imagine how frustrating it is to be called a liar on a crowd that big :)
Take a look at what somebody turned me in to...lolz
A dark joke(original though)
Q: Why did the steemian die at 82?
A: He lived up to his reputation
i'm not a joke? look at my face, you have to loughf!