So, the time has come...the time some of you may have been looking forward to. Me? Not so much. Because it means I have to pay out money. That's right, it's time to announce the winners to my Shitty Comment Contest.
No doubt some of you are asking yourselves, "Shitty Comment Contest? What?" Well, I decided to do a shitty comment contest, and you missed out. Sucks to be you. You could have won 5 steem for saying some stupid shit like "nice post. I follow you follow?" But you didn't. Someone else will. Who, you might ask? I have no fucking clue. Do you have any idea how hard it is to judge the shittiest comment on a post? Fuck man.
You may click here to go to the original contest post.
First, some honorable mentions.
@emilclaudell for the shitty facts!
Hey dude, here's your daily shitty facts:
Scientists were monitoring whale stress levels by analyzing their poop and found that their stress plummeted immediately following the 9/11 attacks. It turns out this was due to all air traffic being halted, which calmed the oceans of low frequency noise which whales use to communicate
George Clooney once cleaned his roommate’s cat’s litter box for four days, then sh*t in it himself, causing the roommate to think it was from his constipated cat.
The 3.6 million year old Laetoli footprints, one of the most important finds concerning human evolution and evidence of upright bipedal walking, was discovered by Paleoanthropologist Andrew Hill when he dove into the ground in the middle of an elephant dung fight with his colleague.
In the early years of the 20th century, horses were causing so much pollution with their poop that automobiles were seen as the “green” alternative.
Source http://www.kickassfacts.com/25-weird-facts-about-poop/For more daily facts about poop: http://www.lmfgtfy.com/?q=poop+facts
Cheers!
I'm afraid I had to disqualify @emilclaudell from being in the running for any prize, as his comment was actually amazing. He clearly has been on Steemit too long.
He had a clever idea (already a bad sign for this contest) to do a comment about shit in a shitty comment contest, and he did the research to bring about a set of facts, and created an intesting comment. Disqualified.
@corbandjan for his like upvote and ask for an upvote submission!
Like this bro. I Upvoted and commented. Upvote me too. Brother from another mother. Lol
The whole "Brother from another mother." was a nice touch. It was seriously weird. Unfortunately, I feel as if it was too original. Was it a shitty comment? Yes. But it likely was not the shittiest.
@youareyourowngod for the starving desert family with a macbook air comment!
HEllo mr can u help? i need for monie for my family in the desert. we r 18 people and we have nothing. we live in desert with soemetimes no food and we have to wait sometims 4000 days when it rain to drink. all wehave is interet connectuin and macbook air. but now charger is brokn and it cannot work more. can u help pls?
He even upvoted his own submission! That is seriously shitty. I was seriously close to just giving him the prize.
Unfortunately, the "macbook air" touch was actually pretty funny, and likely serves as a commentary on those who make comments similar to this. As a result, it ended up being a spoof, and not a bad one. Disqualified. Not as shitty of a comment as he intended.
@blessing97 for the emote comment to a comment!
😂😂😂😂
That's right, comments to comments totally count. They can totally just be as shitty.
Emote comments are pretty standard, especially in texting, and they suck. Especially when you get a single emote after pouring your heart and soul into a heartfelt text. Thank you @blessing97 for showing us all how shitty you can reply to others.
@pamela-paul for the educate well entry!
Lol....my try
I am like what you are post. I want Steem. I follow, you follow back. Your post educative well. Please halp me to get steem
This embodies the poor grammar and greed of so many comments.
@steemsausage for the faceflush entry!
Dude, can we be friends on faceflush, its full of real intelignt fuc&^%rs like you..
warm retarts @hotdog P& S up -votd folowed bro. from the bushes ya sisters hot !
Seriously, fuck Facebook.
Unfortunately, I think it was a bit over the top, and actually served as a commentary on how shitty Facebook is. And would anyone really think it's full of intelligent people? I feel like this could have been a winner, but it just didn't stick the landing.
@chrisdyer for the show bobs entry!
Nice, upvoted and followed, please do the same for me :) And show bobs
Unfortunately, the "show bobs" was actually hilarious.
@penderis for the share and help entry!
Hi Sir, I is really liked your post and shared it to all my many follower.
You can upvote me also and follow so I can teach you how to make more monies.
The balls on this one! Like they know some magic sauce. Yet they're asking for upvotes.
@penderis for his rude shit entry!
I took a picture of my turd just so I can see better content than this.
I won't even feel bad when this gets more votes than your post.
That's just fucking mean.
@derletwins for his tea comment!
Sipping tea
What does that even fucking mean?
@brakab with his good post entry!
Good post would read again.
Why would you read it again? WTF!
@catchup with the ZCash entry!
ZCash costed 6 Bitcoins when it was newly introduced (Nov2016) (about 4k USD back then)
Why is he telling me this! Altogether different take on the usual shitty comments!
And the winner is!
Oh fuck...I still don't know.
There are some real contenders.
The finalists:
@hadji with the beautiful steem entry!
your post is beautiful. i need steem
Very shitty. And adding that he needs steem, as if to suggest you should send it. Very nice.
@woodywood143 with the nice entry!
nice :-)
Simple. To the point. Fucking horrible! Very nice.
@chejonte with the beautiful photo entry!
So beautiful photo!!
The photo I got from the internet? WTF! GTFOutta here! Wonderful entry!
@schattenjaeger with the good info entry!
Nice post, good information...
Utterly useless praise, how I love thee...NOT! Perfect entry!
@lordnigel with the great content and follow entry!
Wow! great content! Follow me
I wanna smack him just reading this! Wonderful entry!
@lemony-cricket with the me too entry!
me too thanks
You too what? Fucking amazing! Great entry!
@gentleshaid with his actual real spam entry!
good post. thanks for sharing. upvote me
https://steemit.com/sevendaybnwchallenge/@gentleshaid/seven-day-black-and-white-challenge-day-5
That's a real link to a real post! Fucking great entry! I am seriously impressed by the shittyness!
@thezonderproject with the follow for follow plz entry!
nice :-) follow 4 follow?
https://steemit.com/@thezonderprojectplz respond
It has a link and everything! And it's topped off with a "plz respond"! Very nice entry!
@kryzsec for the follow for follow entry!
i follw u n pvte nw u fllw me
I can't even fucking read it. That is seriously shitty. It's like he's almost channeling the words of a dead pathetic commenter. #sorrynotsorry
@interceptor for the generic sayings entry!
my dear friend @geekpowered
You and I are spiritual brothers. Time heals all wounds. Good things come to people who wait. The refreshing radiance of solidarity will beautify tomorrow's inward gaze. You Sir, are a valiant specimen of goodness, sterling sample of power and without question an exotic hunk of intelligence.
Steem on, upvote, resteem, keep it up, never lose faith, you have only one life.
Love&Hugs
Like seriously, I almost have PTSD from this comment it brought up so many bad memories from people saying stupid shitty sayings. And it doesn't even make fucking sense! Fucking amazing entry!
@wanderinartist for the informative to me entry!
Very nice post Informative to me. Upvote plsee fllow me too borther
Very shitty! And misspelling brother was a nice touch.
@apsu for the nice photo comment!
nice photo i have joined steemit support me and follow
We've all got them. You use a specific tag, and some botted account comes along and makes a comment telling you that you had a nice photo, or your art is amazing, or your meme is funny. Maybe it even fooled you, and you replied. He even had the balls to just ask them to follow. Why for? Did he contribute anything? Unfortunately I'm pretty sure I'm already following @apsu.
So...
Who the fuck won?!?!
Fuck...this is a hard one...
I'm gonna have to actually give it to @interceptor. He even made jokes in the post itself that he had already won. Apparently he was right!
Fuck guys! This was amazing! I would like to thank EVERYONE that entered. Who would have thought that a shitty comment contest would be so entertaining. I had fun. You might even say I got my money's worth.
Steem unfortunately is currently down in price. I will be sending it after I click post, but it's up to you if you want to sell it now, power it up, or wait.
oh shit..
i won
now im pro.
@geekpowered
you can rent me now to comment on your enemies walls ^^
ill give you 5 shots for free.
then its 0.70 per comment.
f*** my life
Congratulations!! x'D
thanks.. i guess..
Eh? You should be grateful! You won! Unlike me, I've always been a loser(ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~
not sure if i should celebrate, or cut off my internet cable..
:D
Wow, a finalist! Thank you!
For nothing.
Just kidding. It was a fun contest. I shall venture to never again create a post as shitty as that one.
Hahaha this is hilarious. I wish I had seen the original post for the contest beforehand. My favorite one was "nice post. Follow me". Like wut? If it's a nice post, maybe say "following you" instead?
Anyways, interesting contest and post @geekpowered!😅
All in all, a pretty shitty contest.
I almost died! It's like all the shitty comments combined to one post! (*≧▽≦)
That is literally what it is.
I think it's informative though. Shows how not to comment.
Makes me wanna wish that shitty comments should just stay here and not anywhere else on steemit!
Ya sister does look hot from tha bushes!!
You're fucking nuts!
Was definitely a fun contest and congrats to everyone on that list and the winner. Guess I can pat my self on the back twice, lucky I am not Catholic or that would be a whipping and 10 hail marys.
Looking forward to another originally shitty contest.
P.S I did not know reviewing shitty comments could be so insightful. Great job on that, we get to see great shitty comments and a Gerry Springer write up of them . Amazing.
After this contest, I almost feel like we should point newbs to these posts, so they can know just how crappy their comments are.
Umm can people still participate?
Technically, aren't people contributing to shitty comments in every post? :P
The prize money has already been given out though.
I might do another in the future, but this one is OVAH.
where the fuck was I
In the room when I hinted that there were 12 hours left on the contest.
damn, at least tag me next time/ :P
cuz I could make a really shitty comment.
Hahahaha this is fucking shitty contest.
Congratulations to the winner
Oh my god!! This is great!! Wish I had thought of this! Follow me. LOL!
The contest is OVAH!
LOL! I know it is. That's why I'm mad I didn't think of it first, and also mad I missed it. Thought I'd still leave you with a shitty comment!! :)
YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT LIKE ELDERBERRIES!!!!!!
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!
I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!!!
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
It's me. See, I'll upvote myself to prove it.
What, nobody said
... but didn't actually upvote?
I wish I'd seen the original post. I think that would be a good entry
It's linked near the top. Too late to enter tho.
Damn, I had to read all the story with a bunch of shitty comments to get to the most shittiest of the shittier.. of the shit.. whatever it is..
You made my day :D
I don't care if I didn't win, I got the enjoyment of reading some of those comments. 10/10 will upvote!
Also
equates to
Just, shittier
I thought you were asking me to do teh privates sexy on teh skype.
Oh god no. I promise I was not trying to get that, I am sorry if this closes some doors for you but I don't uh, I don't think you are my type