Welcome to Punday Monday!
FYI, new prize rules, see below.
New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.
How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun
Rules for the PUN-test:
- If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work
- Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.
Last Week's Punday Monday:
Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...
(GIF by @littlescribe)
Rookie of the Week:
@theabsolute, who is not a newbie, but since @doctorcrypto is as veteran as they come, he’s closest!!
Pocket Choice Awards:
I am of the opinion that there are four responses to creative works one doesn’t like.
- Constructive criticism. Help them get better!
- Useful review. Help audience members know which of them will like and which won’t like this piece.
- Outdo them. Demonstrate to yourself and others what “good” looks like.
- Keep it to yourself.
There is, however, only one way to respond to creative work one DOES like.
- Send them POCKET.
What pun was your favorite?
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/7gkndy-pocket-friday
It seems my reliable audience favorite voters have dried up, but we will rebuild!
I get it. Hopefully folks will come trickling back to Steem, and we’ll get some new old-reliables!
Where’s @paul.atreides? @mensa-sig? @richatvns and his posse?
POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One:
@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.
POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two:
@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @jk6276, @acolucky, @deceth, @richatvns, @wpkwolfe, @stanism, @lordoffaux, @blockingback, @theartofori, @rainite, @chrisroberts, @kharma.scribbles, and @mensa-sig
POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Three:
It’s still season two.
Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):
Best Pun
Best Pun of the Entire Week
Best Overall Pun
DRUMROLL PLEASE…..
And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?
SBI
See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll sponsor each qualified entrant for two SBI levels each week! Each winning entry will get an additional two SBI!
This week,
Our entrants were:
@doctorcrypto, @theabsolute
Our winners were:
@doctorcrypto, @theabsolute
This Week's Pun Topic Is:
Mortician
As in,
Where did the mortician get junk food and formaldehyde? The Coroner Store.
Awesome joke. Nonetheless, I think you can do better.
I'm So Good at Puns
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money
Sponsors!
@improv/ @freewritehouse
I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community!
Related Content:
- @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
- @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI.
- @contestkings features our contest and MORE!
Outside referrals that benefit @improv.
Coinbase:
Cryptocurrency exchange Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC
- Coinbase is adding maker fees, so there’s probably a better way out there. Do you know it?
Robinhood:
Investment platform buying/selling stocks Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)
Crypto.com:
An app and if you want also a prepaid credit card that uses staking of their MCO coin to unlock certain card perks. If you do want to sign up, I’d take it as a kindness if you’d use my referral code. We each get $50 worth of MCO. https://platinum.crypto.com/r/usfz8rprz6 (or the code is simply usfz8rprz6… and this is actually my wife’s code, @stinawog.)
Earn.com:
Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC
Mannabase:
Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency Join HERE
Swift:
Yet another attempt at a UBI Join HERE
M1 Finance
Like Robinhood, like Swell… invest in stocks, but with the auto-fund feature, it does dollar cost averaging for you, and without Swell’s fee. My referral code is here We both get a signup bonus if you use that code.
SBI
Do you like what I do, and want to support me with more than your upvote? Buy me Steem Basic Income, and we’ll both get returns forever! Just send 1 steem to @steembasicincome with @improv in the memo line! Do you want to support the steem fiction writers who are putting out books and getting the name of Steem out there in the wider world, too? Then put @steemfiction in the memo line! Don’t care about SBI yourself? Put @improv:@steemfiction in the memo line, and both those accounts will get the support! (but you won’t. But you’ll get the support of my love.)
LUMENS
We’ll each get $10 of Stellar Lumens if you use this link. You have to answer 5 short questions, each question is worth $2
https://www.coinbase.com/earn/xlm/invite/z8nb4dqf
EOS
Same as above, but for EOS https://coinbase.com/earn/eos/invite/jksv4mx3
What happens when a mortician dies at work?
He will stay there for ever!
The mortician's most difficult day at work? Schrodinger's cat
Until the mortician observes it.
Ouch!
Posted using Partiko Android
I’m new here. Mortician seems like a hard pun to make. I can’t(cunt) understand how a Mortician can something so dead come(cum) alive.
I don't think that's embalming fluid in that video
What was the mortician's favorite punk band? The Dead Kennedys
But I thought Punks Not Dead (-The Exploited)... and now they are Can-a-dies?
Posted using Partiko Android
You should have seen the seen the Casualties when someone overdosed on GBH while playing with their Sex Pistols
Probably!
Posted using Partiko Android
pocketsend:100@theabsolute
Successful Send of 100
Sending Account: theabsolute
Receiving Account: theabsolute
New sending account balance: 988
New receiving account balance: 988
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 69e6c5dc3209108a7462c9d5befaa519afc50532
Someone sent you some POCKET tokens. POCKET is an experimental sub-token system which operates on the Steem blockchain. It's like having a custom token without SMT. You can also send some to someone else by just commenting on a post with the following command:
pocketsend:number_of_token@recipient_name,memofor example to send 10 tokens to @pocketjs, make a comment starting with:pocketsend:10@pocketjs,This is a giftI am running Pocket-JS confirmer code.
Why did the mortician come out off retirement?
He knew it was time he de-ceased working.
Posted using Partiko Android
Why couldn't the mortician get within 100ft of the cadaver? Deceased to exist order
Haaaaaaa!
Posted using Partiko Android
Why did the beautician become a mortician?
To make people look drop-dead gorgeous
Such a dead-end job though
Nice!
Posted using Partiko Android
I'm afraid I'm a little too stiff to make pun about morticians :)
Aaaahh!
Posted using Partiko Android
After a hard day at the morgue, the mortician needed a stiff drink
After a hard day
At the morgue, the mortician
Needed a stiff drink
- theabsolute
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Why does the mortician never answer when asked when he'll pay his debt? ☠️
Because he's deaf. ☠️
Posted using Partiko Android
When I was in kindergarten, I told my mom that a kid in my class was Death.
Posted using Partiko Android
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
I thought of something!!!!! To be fair, this is a wicked old joke, but it popped into my brain when I was reading the other responses,, so I'm giving it a go!
According to experts, each year fewer and fewer people are training to become morticians. Some say it's a dying business....
haaaaa
Oh man, I am sorry for missing this past weeks contest!
Life gets in the way sometimes :)
Other times it's death.
...
Any way, you know I'm a dead ringer!
Oof!