Hello fellow-steemians / Hallo mede-steemians!
I decided to hold another joke-telling contest / Ik heb besloten om nog een moppentapwedstrijd te houden 😁
The rest of this post is in English / De rest van deze post is in het Engels (heb je vragen over de regels, stel ze dan gewoon in de comments)
First the prize......since I'm still a minnow (look at my wallet), I concocted the following:
After 7 days this post will generate author-awards: 50% Steemdollars and 50% Steempower. I will transfer all Steemdollars that are generated as author awards to the winner of the contest after pay-out. The more upvotes, the bigger the prize!!!
The generated Steempower is mine. I need it to increase my upvote, so I can help my fellow-minnows👍.
The rules are simple:
- Upvote and resteem this post
- Tell your best joke in the comments below.
- Only one entry per person
- Your joke in Dutch or English only
Good luck!!
Peace and love!
A penguin was driving cross country when his car breaks down in a small town. While a mechanic is trying to find the problem, the penguin wanders around town and finds an ice cream shop and gets a cone. After he is done with his ice cream cone he goes back to the mechanic. The mechanic looks up from under the hood at the penguin and says "You blew a seal." The penguin hastily wipes his mouth off and says "no, no, no that's just ice cream."
Whahaha....nice one dude😂😂
Congrats @doctorcrypto !!
You win this one!
Oh wow! Awesome! Thank you. There were some good jokes here. I am honored :)
I'll post a new joke contest somewhere tomorrow. Stay tuned😉
Edit: its up already!
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
Ok, this is really dirty but there have already been multiple blowjob jokes so I figure the nsfw train has left the station.
Country girl walks up to her father and says "Dad, can I borrow the truck?" Dad says, "sure but you know what you have to do."
Girl says, "But I don't want to give you a blow job."
Dad says, "rules are rules."
So the girl reluctantly gets down and starts to give him a blowjob when she says, "Ugh dad, your dick tastes like shit."
Dad says, "That's right, I forgot your brother already borrowed the truck."
Nasty🤤. And funny at the same time👍
@blackserpent you didn't win, but no sorrow: u can try again:
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
Imagine that I have a rooster, and you have a donkey. What do you get when your donkey bites the left leg off of my rooster?
.
.
.
What you get is a foot of my cock in your ass.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I also do bar mitzvahs and weddings!
Good one😂😂
But the rules state @fronttowardenemy :
1.Upvote and resteem this post
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only
If you wanna win, don't forget rule nr.1👍
Sorry man, I unfollow people who resteem too much, so I don't resteem.
Best of luck with the contest!
Fair enough. And thanks👍
@fronttowardenemy wanna try again?
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
A lonely lady of 70 years of age, wants to get married again.
She places an advertisement in the local newspaper as follows:
WANTED: A GOOD MAN.
HAS TO BE MY AGE (70)
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO HIT ME
MUST HAVE NO INTENTION TO RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER
MUST BE GOOD IN BED!
NO TEXT REPLIES OF PHONECALLS, MUST COME BY TO APPLY TO THIS ADVERTISEMENT.
After two days, the doorbell rings a few times.
Eventhough she's not exactly looking forward to it due to past dissapointments, she goes to the door to open it.
What appears is a gray haired man without any arms or legs in a wheelchair.
"You seriously don't think I'd want you?" the woman asks, "I mean, look at yourself! You have no legs!"
The old man smiles and replies 'Well, that means I can't run off with another."
She grumbles, looking him over again.
"You don't even have hands."
The old man smiles again, only to say "That means I can't hit you."
She thinks about it, only to squint and give him a questioning look.
"Are you still good in bed, though?"
The man sits up in his wheelchair and grins a wide grin.
"I managed to ring the doorbell a few times, didn't I?
😅😆😂🤣. Awesome joke!
Nieuwe ronde, nieuwe kansen!
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
Ok so here is my joke :D (a stupid one obviously...)
Be indulgent :D
It's the story of a penguin who was breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and died.
(I love stories about penguins, and I have no shame :o)
😁👍
Do you have any more animal jokes @remic2005?
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
I have :D
Q: Why did the airplane crash?
A: The pilot was a potato.
Resteemed because we all need a laugh every now and then.
Defending champ Fish, back to tickle those ribs. Bahahaha
Your title is one the line mate.
Another sweet potato joke 👍
I plan to continue the "potato" theme until I'm defeated. It keeps me having to be creative.
Just a heads up because you are a legend. I will be running a competition soon also. I have started a YouTube channel and as soon as I can figure out the live streaming, I am going to start a live stream and say the first 50 people who join my live stream and add their steemit handle to the live comments, I will transfer 5SBD. I should be doing this very soon.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXnqmbNNPv69D3GabkkLYlg
If you subscribe now you should get the advantage come competition time.
Speak soon Marco, Yewww
Fish
Thanks Fish, I will subscribe👍
This is a @walkingkeys original. It is a little dirty, it's a Star Wars Blow Job Joke. lol
My wife and I like to role play when it is loving time. We often role play Star Wars like white people do. My wife is Princess Leia and I am generally Han Solo, but two nights ago she wanted me to be Chewbacca. I guess she was having a hard time with my new beard, but Chewbacca? That is kind of insulting...but I did it. I didn't want to go Solo with my Hand if you know what I mean. So there I was, a wookie getting some nookie. Then it dawned on me... She should be the sand monster from Return of the Jedi, because that thing was pretty much just a mouth.
I hope you like the original joke - thank you for doing the #payitforwardchallenge
It's original.....call her Sarlacc
from now on😂
Hey @walkingkeys, no prize this time; but you can try again.....
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
What is brown and sticky?
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A stick.
Droll sir.....very droll 😂👍
Its a Tommy Cooper classic
Nice try, no cigar this time @scalextrix
Wanna try again?
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
You have a rather interesting blog, I like it ..
Must be russian humour....
For the future I will know!
As the rules state @dinar :
1.Upvote and resteem this post
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only
If you wanna win, don't forget rule nr.1👍
Already seen, thank you, sorry!
Want to try again @dinar?
Contest nr.3 :
https://steemit.com/contest/@marcovanhassel/tell-a-joke-win-some-sbd
My illness is incurable,
And what about me - I do not know:
I'm kind of dying from work,
And from salary - I'm resurrected.
Sorry....only one entry per person
I'm sorry. (
I heard a new asian chocolate bar was being created - but it turned out just to be Chinese Whispers.
Ba-dum-tss!🤣
As the rules state @andyhenry :
1.Upvote and resteem this post
2.Tell your best joke in the comments below.
3.Only one entry per person
4.Your joke in Dutch or English only
If you wanna win, don't forget rule nr.1👍