Rules
Write a funny suggestion for 'Bad Public Toilet Etiquette' in a comment below. The contest will be open for at least 24 hours from the time of posting. For example:
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Flushing the urinal of the guy next to you when he's still in the middle of using it
You may enter multiple times, just make sure they're separate comments for each 1 liner you come up with.
I will choose 5 winners and maybe some honorable mentions that made me laugh the hardest. I will also favor newer users over more established Steemians. Each person can only win once.
When playing along, please vote up some of the lines that made you laugh the most so they will become more visible for others.
Come up with original jokes and have fun!
Rewards
ALL the authorship rewards will be shared among the winners PLUS whatever curation and voting rewards your comments receive PLUS however much you get in the mail from the government for pretending your grandmother is still alive. Rewards will be sent when payout is received for this post.
If you make a good impression and have some quality articles on your blog you'll likely win some followers including me! The purpose of this competition is to discover some hidden comedy writing talent on this platform who could use a boost in popularity.
Upvote and Resteem if you want to support discovering newer writers. Please also read through some of the comments to upvote your favorite lines.
I write some satirical articles myself, so please have a look at them if you're interested. Follow me @trafalgar
WINNERS are @writingamigo, @rokasltu, @swenger, @jeezzle and @slyborg
Congratulations! You each take home 90.3 steem, rounded up to the nearest 90.3 steem (I'll send it within a few hours as it's still powering down)
Thank you everyone for playing!
Thank you very much. My twisted sense of humor is finally paying off!
thanks a lot man! great idea running this contest! :)
Cool, I always knew I have a good sense of humor. Now I can even say that I am established comic and get paid $100 for one liner haha
Edit: Thank you, man!
Wow that is some great news to come home to after work. Thanks trafalgar!
Btw: Trafalgar Law says something to you? xD
haha that's where i got the name from
where i grow a goatee and wear a beanie i look a little like him
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Not tipping the bathroom attendant after he helps free you when you got yourself stuck in the glory hole
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Pulling out a tape measure when there's a line to use the urinals and shouting, "Biggest goes first!"
Doing this in sleep mode so it is not perfect. more to come!
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Telling 20 women, who are screaming in fear, that they are all in the wrong toilet and should leave immediately.
haha yeah women can be rude like that
Make a sponge cake in the shape and color of the urinal cake, and walk out of the bathroom eating it.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Going to one booth locking it, climbing to another booth and also locking it, till last one. After locking last one climbing out - all booths locked. P.S. if someone is in the booth throwing him away...
its a lot of effort, but i think it's worth it!
hahaha
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Everything these dipwads do.
I am positive they are both going to miss.
Darth Clayboyn agrees.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Trying to remove the camera while she's still going to the bathroom.
haha =)
Bad Toilet Etiquette: Asking the guy next to you "Are you done with that pink urinal cake?"
haha =)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Saving time by washing your hands in your own stream. Use soap you animal!
haha hmm hopefully you didn't bring your own 'soap' that comes from the same nozzle as the stream...
German: "Aus hygienischen Gründen wird diese Toilette vidoüberwacht."
English: "For hygienic reasons, this toilet is video monitored."
lol
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Asking Michael J. Fox to please stop doing that at the urinal.
I feel like this one might have gone too far. Then again shaking it more than twice is already bad etiquette.
haha he was just shaking it off like taylor swift
Bad toilet etiquette: Using the last piece of toilet paper and holding it out to the next guy asking if he wishes to recycle
haha recycling the paper or recycling what use to be food on it?
Haha, hadn't even thought of that ...
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Accosting people as they enter the toilet with a cup in hand, asking to borrow some pee to give to your parole officer.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Crossing the streams with the guy in the urinal next to you
You must never ever cross streams.... god knows what will happen. Unless you've seen ghostbusters in which case STILL don't do it!
standing next to me, when there are 20 empty urinals available.
hahaha =)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Apologising to the man next to you in the urinal, and recommending a website where he can find penis enlargement pills.
Squatting on the toilet bowl, leaving one's dirty shoe marks
this is definitely annoying, and don't shit in the water tank on the top either
Bonus unrelated but relevant video lol
He's a classic
I love him :)
Bummer. You beat me to this one.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: talking on your phone while peeing in the urinal, dropping phone in the urinal, continue peeing on phone while retrieving it, then continue talking on pissy phone
Hmmm so that's why those water resistant phones are selling so well
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: When you notice someone in a wheelchair is headed in the direction of the cushy handicapped 'all to itself' bathroom..and you run past them to get to it first.
hahaha
I've limped into and out of a few when I am very desperate
As long as there isn't a noticeably handicapped person in sight, fair game I say :)
I think we might have graduated to a new text abbreviation-BPTE.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Building an intricate layer of four layers of toilet paper so there is absolutely no chance of any of your ass making contact with any of the toilet seat.
When you're done, make no effort to flush or otherwise dispose of your barrier, so the next person to use that stall can appreciate your construction skills.
haha they'll just have to build on top of your already admirable work
A few more uses, and the paper stack is larger than the toilet itself, and then you have to borrow a stepladder from the custodian. That's a whole other level of awkward.
lol, the only thing that comes to mind (maybe cause I'm a Finn and like my safe space) is when you are in a public bathroom using the let's say the 4th out of 5 urinals and you notice someone else come in and goes directly for your neighbor urinals even though the others were empty.
Don't be that guy. :P
re-phrasing:
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Don't use the urinals next to another urinator when other ones are free.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Starting a feces throwing fight while making monkey noises and scratching yourself.
yes that would be bad etiquette indeed
so glad you're around giving us this insight :)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Dropping a soup on purpose as you enter the bathroom, giving an awkward smirk to everyone around you.
haha :)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Pulling your pants down to the ankles while using the urinal :)
haha everyone at school use to do this
LMAO! Brilliant.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Calling for the bathroom attendant when you're ready to be wiped
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Washing your balls in the sink.
I hate it when the soap is out
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Offering to high five all the guys at the urinals as you're walking passed
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Shitting in the urinal and not flushing.
Even without flushing it'll already pretty pretty bad etiquette! :)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Standing back 3 meters to show of how far you can piss.
this is especially true for the ladies
Best
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette for genderfluid people: Standing back 3 meters showing off how far you can piss, wetting yourself, cause you just change sex.
inspired by yours: Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: walk through the stream while someone is showing he can pee from a distance of 3 meters.
lol.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Having Sex with your partner, when there is only one toilet and other people are stuck outside, asking us to do it quickly.
Don't know whose etiquettes are bad😂
haha at least you're not doing it through the glory hole and taking up two cubicles
Hahaha, that's true.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquettes: Fixing a transparent plastic Cover on Toilet seat, when next person will come and do his work, he will be covered in his shit. @trafalgar
yes cling wrap works well here, but aluminium foil not so much
Yepp.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Trying to shake hands with everybody without first washing your hands.
haha they don't know if you don't tell them
The blue guy with the halo on one of my shoulders tells me not to do it.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Attempting to play footsies underneath the stalls with a stranger. (While wearing crocs)
Pull your pants down, back up to a urinal and say "Strangest damned bidet I have ever seen".
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: When you hear the person in the next stall struggling and ask, "Hey, you gunna finish that?"
Playing dive bomber by suspending yourself by your armpits draped over the top of the stall and try to land one in the bowl.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Dropping a deuce in urinals.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette ; Washing your bum in the sink because you realised too late that there was no toilet paper left :( This is NOT from personal experience!.............. Honestly!!
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Architects who design public bathrooms incorporating inward-swinging doors with handles on the inside that you have to grab to exit, having full knowledge that a huge percentage of people fail to wash their hands after wiping their bum.
Throwing a Bucket of water over the closed door. ( used to do this at College)
bonus points for using boiling water out of a kettle :)
Bad public toilet etiquette: shaking for the two guys next to you... without asking first.
lol consent is always important :)
It's just common decency. Martha Stewart has an entire book on it. Plus an appendix that shows you how to make a cute little hat for your wang out of a doily.
Bad public toilet etiquette: doing a handstand at the urinal beacause you are really excited and have no other choice.
haha got a whole cheerleader crew there so the guy on the top can take a whizz
Bring it on!
Good Public Toilet Eiquette: Blogging while you poop.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Shitting in the urinal.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Charging the bathroom attendant for helping clean urinals.
meep
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Singing
Meep, meep
I made a heep,
A mighty heep of shit
Meep, meep,
I made a heep,
And it stinks a bit.
meep
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Eating and not offering to share. Chances are no-one wants any, but not saying anything is just rude.
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette: Giving someone at a urinal a pat on the back and telling them "Nice aim, buddy."
well it might have been pretty good aim before you started patting him on the back :)
Bad Public Toilet Etiquette:
Squatting on the sink counter with the faucet inside your ass, inviting everyone to sanitize their hands with your special antibacterial yellow sauce.