Great your the Queen of one liners haha. It will keep your brain and wit sharp too. I try not to pat myself on my back too much to congrat myself in life or you will become relaxed and take your eye off from your high targets in life. When I started get into stand up comedy around 2013 I decided to watch endless hours on You Tube for some research. Most people can tell a joke that usually lasts for 10 seconds but I thought how can I write material for at least 5 minutes and make people laugh with it every 10 to 20 seconds. So I just kept watching the professional stand up comics and then just cracked it. Never tell lies in comedy, or copy other comics material, just be yourself and write about funny experiences of your life or friends or people who are in the limelight. After I worked that out the just started to pour out of me like running water. So I started to write jokes or gags that would last anything from 15 seconds up to 4 minutes. In London when you start out as a stand up comic they give you 5 minutes. What I like about the comedy industry completely different to the backstabbing music industry. If they realise you have a raw talent for stand up comic they will promote you to longer sets and performing in more packed out comedy clubs too. Comedy industry is massive nowadays as well if you make a name for yourself then you can be offered work in the tv or film industry. I just find a lot of well known stand up comics are a joke in themselves. Once they have big successful tours year in, year out they just keep repeating the same the material like a parrot. A lot of their comedy I don`t find that funny. Like Russell Brand I cannot see the comedy in him he just talks utter crap and people find him funny. I think he would look better on the window display as the Captain Jack Sparrow of Primark. Billy Connolly I read about him apparently every time he would perform live he would never repeat the same set again live.
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Ya, I don't like Russell Brand much either, my life is one big joke, something funny everyday , like today I slept in, was late for work, someone asked me how I was feeling , I said "feel like a dog ate me and crapped me off a cliff" I don't know where it comes from, just comes out, and as for life stories I have a crap load . ...I actually look forward to reading your responses after I get home from work, you're a lot like me....
Must of been some dog to do that to you haha. I do not think it would be one of the Queen`s dogs like a corgi or you would still be hanging off the cliff with the dog clawing for its life of the slippery edge. You would of been probably hanging out of that corgi like that dog was giving birth to a baby hippo with its small body size haha.
Yes I think we are probably very similar people.
You could of said when you slept in "It was the earliest I have been late in a long time!"
Yesterday for some reason it would not let me login here, so just left it to for this morning.
That's a good line, I'll have to use it the next time I'm late, and there are some pretty big dogs here in Canada haha, I had trouble getting on here a few times, all I do is clear my cache and all is well again , I have a good friend from England , I always tell her to quit using that fake accent because she's in Canada now, eh? (Canadians say "eh" alot ) She's always talking about "home" and now, I want to go to England just for the food!
Go to England so you can enjoy your pint of beer with a hot Sunday Roast meal, potatoes, Yorkshire Puddings, turnip and gravy. A lot pub grub is still like that but a lot of pubs are getting into like foreign cuisines like Thai food instead probably cheaper and for a healthy option since they banned smoking in pubs nearly a decade ago.
England is alright the north of England is probably better than the rest of England as people are more welcoming and life is cheaper up there too. I much prefer London as it is like a country on its own so you hardly ever see the same face twice when you adventure outside your local area. You meet some great people in London but also some cold weird ones too. Travelling on London Underground is not a thing I do much as I think when people travel underground it messes their mindsets up makes them become the people they are not. Whenever I travel on that London Underground they are all like the walking dead down there no one speaks or even tries to make eye contact. So imagine what it is like if your travelling on it with your friends having a laugh everyone will be twitching their faces in dismay at us.
Canada has a lot of Scottish connection to it with Nova Scotia they seem to love the Scottish theme around there.
I think the best scenery in the UK is the west coast of the Scottish Highlands.
Whenever we would come late back from our lunch break at my High School we used to have to fill in a late slip to say why we were late for?
Sometimes I use to just write "It is the earliest I have been late in a long time!"
Teacher used to then reply to me "Smart arse!"
Around my High School there is all the history between the war between Highland Jacobites against the English Redcoats. From like the Culloden Battlefield, a underground cave called Charlie`s Cave, also the Moray Firth where we could go to watch the dolphins in the water and then Culloden woods. Which is entailed with all kind of things and history there. So you can imagine would crazy reasons we would say why we were late back from our lunch break. Like been chased by a headless bagpiper through the woods.
In the Canadian woods or forests do you only have big angry bears living there or do teddy bears live there too? Haha
My friend said London was very expensive , she grew up poor, and London is where I really want to go because I love shopping , I have friends that lived in Nova Scotia , there's alot of Irish there too, I grew up in Toronto so I know all about the subway, and you're right, nobody acknowledges anybody , bunch of Zombies , I was always late coming back from lunch and got what the principal called a "think paper" my best reason for being late was "I was beating the high score in a game" and it didn't help that the arcade was next door, so, I had detention alot. And the bears, people eat them here, tried bear meat once , it was gross and greasy , we just have to watch for the rabid deer, or the offside moose, haha...oh, and you can't forget about the killer bunnies with their big teeth and big floppy ears.....oh, wait, I totally forgot about the treacherous turkeys , but, no ghosts ,
London is expensive but a lot of people or families here are well below the breadline like suffering in poverty. The Mayor of London or the Goverment only care about the rich folk. Today in London they have put a congestion charge on drivers who cars are older than the year 2006. To stop them driving into central London and I think they will be getting charged around $30 in your currency for one day to come into the congestion zone. British Goverment encouraged people to have diesel cars now they are hitting them hard in the pocket. So a lot of small businesses will suffer and the British Goverment said this charge is brought in to reduce pollution levels what a load of old tosh like.
Plenty of shops in London to burn your cash with. With the mighty Oxford Street the longest street in the world should keep you entertained melting the plastic on your bank cards. You will be on a big meltdown here haha.
I used to eat venison a lot as a kid getting from my relatives farms but it is so overpriced in London.
These days I just cook with a electric pressure cooker so less to clean up afterwards.
I think the food tastes so much better from an electric pressure cooker all you have to do is get the timing right.
I got detention at High School quite often as I mucked about in school a lot and eventually got booted out for good just as I turned 16. I learnt more from outside than inside of school. Once you knew how to do the alphabet, write, count and do the times table there was nothing else to explore from school education.
I just find it crazy that school education do not teach us how to communicate, about buying or renting a property, taught about taxes, going self-employed, prepare you for work, job interviews, they just want to drill the creativity out of a person and become another lost sheep of the devious system.
Back to my detention at school if I got Mrs Robb a religious teacher to hold our detention class she always gave me the Holy Bible to write from on a piece of paper for 45 minutes. Only positive that gave me later in my life was dealing with street preachers as pretty much a lot of that Bible book got photocopied to my mindset like a fingerprint. So when a street preacher starts preaching to me I start asking them questions about some knowledge from the Bible. When they cannot answer me correctly I know they have not even read the Bible. Just all talk with no knowledge like a terrible salesman. So it makes them look stupid in front of their crowd of people around them. All they say to me is your telling lies for a easy way out for them. So I ask some of the people there with this big mouth preacher have this got internet access on their mobile phone. When they say yes I just ask them to google a certain part of the Bible and then I just walk off. To many con merchants out there.
I once had snake before the people who cooked it for me said it was chicken. Damn how they lied it was bony as heck. I had this when I travelled through the Philippines a few years back.
I do believe that schools should teach you about life, all that was drilled into our heads was, you'll get nowhere without an education , and I had to write pages of the dictionary , and driving , well, we don't have as many rules as you, but you have to get an "e-test" which is they measure the amount of exaust that you car burns, if you fail , you pay up to 500 bucks to fix the problem , venison is basically free here for me because I know a lot of hunters, I've had rattlesnake , it was like chewing a piece of rubber, and no flavor , I've never used a pressure cooker , but I'd like to try some beef ribs in one, and kudos for calling out a street preacher , I applaud you, we have people here like that and they're just looking for a quick buck , and as for shopping , I love the styles that London wears, nothing like what we've got here , I love to be different , be myself and I can guarantee that my bank card would be nothing but a nub if I ever went shopping in London ! Ttyl , if you can't be good , be careful , and if you can't be careful , name it after me! Haha