Hi Steemians!
It's me the boy with the broken heart who likes fractals
Today I'm gonna show you a new fractal series based on my personal pain after a very difficult situation and a very common but hurtful feeling. After a two years long relationship a deep wound appear on my chest, there's a reason, a meaning for that pain and it's very simple, but in most cases and sceneries on my mind I hate it was him who did it because there's no excuses for. I'm talking about cheating and today I'm gonna show how the pain of being cheated looks like in the best way I know, by the expression of the geometry of nature, so I choose make a very deep blood taste fractal inspired of how blood cells looks when it decomposes.
Reasons
It's well known you don't need an excuse for cheating, people sometimes just does that searching for satisfaction, searching for something missing or just doing it for a shoot of adrenaline in they dorsal spine, the person cheated usually feel like a responsible, like it's not enough for its loved ones, the sadness and the anger appears liquifying his insides, his heart, his gots, too paralyzed to know if you want revenge or just let it all die, maybe a little part of you want to forgive, but you don't trust anymore, you wish with all you heart none of this ever happened, It was the The First Thought When the love and the anger collide and the reason you may like to kill and feel it's right.
When I write Kill I don't mean it like really end up the physical life of someone, I'm talking more like killing the feeling, the love, that's why the color red and purple are present on this pieces with a soft tissue texture, emulating the necrosis process of cells dying, when the hemoglobin get touch by the air the iron on the blood oxidate quickly staining it with this red color, after a long time it turns brown black and even purple, product of the decomposition process I toke this to make my own Psychosis bath scene in order to get rid of the feeling and maybe, just maybe make the pain go.
References
When I discover I was cheated the first word on my mind was *Blood* at first I feel like a something in me was missing and almost loose myself in the anger, crying and screaming not only for sadness but deception, I really felt humiliated, like it was my fault, it took me three day to realice it wasn't.
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One of my references was Prince in his song Purple Rain the tittle of the song suggest when the blood evaporate it goes up to the air and mix with the blue of the sky, so when it rains, the raindrops are purple. This came to me because Prince is one of his favorite artist, like a musical father for him, so I use it as a way to reference my pain in something meaningful and make it understandable for him with the mixture of colors, and cultures which was inevitable because my weapon to fight was my own pain and it works eventually; however the damage was done and he is already dead.
For this pieces I insist in using depth of field even with the small details, in order to get this microscope like vision, simulating the blur lines in the human eye present when you try to focus on small objects under a microscope, putting all together with little explosions on the surface of the fractal's bodies, make it looks like blood cells pierced by ice, rotten in necrosis, trying to get back to life but at the end cutting off the dead tissue ends up being the best decision.
Conclusion
Complex feelings are always difficult to put in words to someone else to understand, not because he dosen't know it wasn't right, but at the end he just thought it t dosen't matter if I never found out his lies, even if he loves me, love has nothing to do here, the pain and the anger are deadly feelings who consume you and doing this is a way of soft killing in a poetic way, so I fight back but not with the same action of infidelities, I decide to just show all my love and pain and let it be felt for the others around me, because you can hand your own venom, you will die eventually just as me in time we all do, I don't hate you at all, still love you but I did right killing you.
Warmness RIÖ
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