I'm a happily married woman. My husband and I have talked a fair amount about this issue, how it's almost like if you're a guy, you're automatically some kind of sinister potential rapist or something. I agree with you that it's not right. Back in my single days I would sometimes get hit on by men. If I was interested I'd flirt back. If I was not interested, I'd still be friendly and polite, but make it clear that we'd be "friends" and that was that. I found that the men appreciated knowing early on if the woman wasn't interested, as opposed to being led on for a while and "let down slowly." I've had some drunk guys hit on me at times (in rather obnoxious ways), and one time I had a guy try to dance too close to me at a country/western dance. Since he was from a different country, I just informed him that in the US a certain comfortable distance is required for the dance to work. Yeah, it was BS, but it worked and no one had to be embarrassed about anything, and we could enjoy the dance (imagine that!).
I've never had a truly frightening situation where a guy was stalking me or threatening me in any way. I imagine if I experienced that my perspective might be different. Like I said, I've had times where I got hit on and it was kinda obnoxious, but I always felt like I could handle it and no harm done. I guess what I'm getting at is what's wrong with a guy asking, and a woman saying no? Why is it that just asking her out (or otherwise showing a romantic interest) is now wrong? As a married woman, if a guy hit on me, I'd just show him my ring and smile and say "taken" and that would be that, but I wouldn't hold it against him. I'd probably be flattered, actually.
I think it's a minority of women who are offended by some romantic attention (provided the guy isn't actually saying off-base things).
It is good that men such as yourself aren't getting discouraged by it.
So maybe guys have to deal with gettin' dealt some eye-rolls or dissed-out for their unwanted advances; at least it's unlikely a woman will murder them for it.
What men can control is how they react to the women that reject them. Often, yes, she is too busy to talk. O the classic 'not in the mood'. And remember, she does not represent ALL WOMEN. Men are really prone to that kind of fallacy as women are very symbolic to them.
Men should just learn to be a charmer ;) A genuinely charming man is like a desert in an Oasis.
Well said. Id like to point out though that, the crazies aside, dont take a brush off (such as the Im just here to dance) as an accusation of harassment. No one owes you theur time if youre not paying for it. Though some polites would be nice now and then.
I would have loved to see it if some guy with Brad Pitt-level looks nodded and smiled at that chick in the video, and how fast her agenda would go out of the window.
No. You get that most of my article is written in the voices of other people, right? Though in that particular part, there was some interpretation. Basically, the girl told me that to pick up a waitress, you should first become a regular in her restaurant, to get to know her. I thought a bit about that, and wrote what I wrote.
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I'm a happily married woman. My husband and I have talked a fair amount about this issue, how it's almost like if you're a guy, you're automatically some kind of sinister potential rapist or something. I agree with you that it's not right. Back in my single days I would sometimes get hit on by men. If I was interested I'd flirt back. If I was not interested, I'd still be friendly and polite, but make it clear that we'd be "friends" and that was that. I found that the men appreciated knowing early on if the woman wasn't interested, as opposed to being led on for a while and "let down slowly." I've had some drunk guys hit on me at times (in rather obnoxious ways), and one time I had a guy try to dance too close to me at a country/western dance. Since he was from a different country, I just informed him that in the US a certain comfortable distance is required for the dance to work. Yeah, it was BS, but it worked and no one had to be embarrassed about anything, and we could enjoy the dance (imagine that!).
I've never had a truly frightening situation where a guy was stalking me or threatening me in any way. I imagine if I experienced that my perspective might be different. Like I said, I've had times where I got hit on and it was kinda obnoxious, but I always felt like I could handle it and no harm done. I guess what I'm getting at is what's wrong with a guy asking, and a woman saying no? Why is it that just asking her out (or otherwise showing a romantic interest) is now wrong? As a married woman, if a guy hit on me, I'd just show him my ring and smile and say "taken" and that would be that, but I wouldn't hold it against him. I'd probably be flattered, actually.
I think it's a minority of women who are offended by some romantic attention (provided the guy isn't actually saying off-base things).
It is good that men such as yourself aren't getting discouraged by it.
So maybe guys have to deal with gettin' dealt some eye-rolls or dissed-out for their unwanted advances; at least it's unlikely a woman will murder them for it.
What men can control is how they react to the women that reject them. Often, yes, she is too busy to talk. O the classic 'not in the mood'. And remember, she does not represent ALL WOMEN. Men are really prone to that kind of fallacy as women are very symbolic to them.
Men should just learn to be a charmer ;) A genuinely charming man is like a desert in an Oasis.
It's also dangerous.
How so?
because a woman's word is always taken over a man's in such cases and she can claim all kinds of bad evil things.
Well said. Id like to point out though that, the crazies aside, dont take a brush off (such as the Im just here to dance) as an accusation of harassment. No one owes you theur time if youre not paying for it. Though some polites would be nice now and then.
I would have loved to see it if some guy with Brad Pitt-level looks nodded and smiled at that chick in the video, and how fast her agenda would go out of the window.
Neo-feminism gone wild... lol.. out of control psychosis.
Wait, did you really just suggest stalking a waitress is OK?😂
No. You get that most of my article is written in the voices of other people, right? Though in that particular part, there was some interpretation. Basically, the girl told me that to pick up a waitress, you should first become a regular in her restaurant, to get to know her. I thought a bit about that, and wrote what I wrote.
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