• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Should I be as suspicious about my therapist's boundaries as I am? My therapist extended our sessions way past 50 minutes, and tells me I can reach out to them anytime about anything, says they like talking to me, and tells me personally stories.

  I would agree with you that you have reason to be concerned. Therapeutic boundaries are essential to therapy, as in without them the engagement with the therapist not only does…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Question about therapy homework

  My T wants me to bring childhood pictures into session. He seems to find it very important, I'm feeling really reluctant and uncomfortable with it and am leaning towards 'no'.…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Is it wrong to ask my therapist about his politics? I get on great with him but if he was a right-wing/Trump voter I would terminate. Some of his Twitter posts are worrying (he supported Dave Chappelle during the trans debacle)?

  I think a more productive conversation to have with your therapist than vetting his particular politics would be to explore with him this idea that a certain viewpoint or set of…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Question about how therapeutic relationship works

  Do you feel expendable in therapy? Is this feeling relevant, in terms of past relationships, in your life? What are some ways, addressing this, in therapy? Labeling the feelings…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Have you ever diagnosed yourself with a mental health condition and then shared it with your therapist? Were you right? Was the discussion with your therapist helpful for your healing?

  I actually did this. I came across a post on Quora that was about some aspect of how therapy clients with borderline personality disorder often behave. The comment thread…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Question about different therapy philosophies

  Some confusing terminology.. in what ways is long term psychodynamic therapy different from a relational type of therapy? Maybe, in certain important aspects, they are one in the…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 6 months ago

  Your honesty, in therapy.. on a scale of one to ten, how much are you sharing? Are you more vulnerable, than previously? Possibly, certain things, still hidden.. do you imagine a time, your honesty, at number 10?

  I’m pretty close to 10 I think. In recent months I’ve become very honest… and quite unfiltered. I tell M pretty much anything, and I don’t hold back on any given topic. I do…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  A question about sharing a therapist with a friend

  Am I out of line? I referred my best friend of over 20 years to my therapist a few months ago. My friend then suddenly cut me out of their life with no warning or explanation. I…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  In your therapeutic alliance, what are your core issues, your repertoire of feelings?

  Two words: attachment wounding. We could also call it relational trauma, or complex post traumatic stress disorder. We could even call it borderline personality disorder, the…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Why, while telling my therapist about a traumatic event, she tells me it sounds like you’re reading from a textbook as if you’re not talking about yourself? What does that mean?

  Maybe your therapist isn’t as well versed on how trauma typically comes out, especially the first time someone tells their story? If this is the first time you’ve ever shared…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  How do I ask my therapist for a hug. I love hugs they are the one thing that helped me stay on this world. I'm not sure about my therapist boundaries but she seems easy going. I have a huge fear of rejection and a long history of being pushed away?

  Thank you for the A2A. I have to warn you that you are asking someone who feels terrified of outright asking my own therapist for a hug… because what if he has a boundary against…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  A question about transference in therapy

  Am I Stupid For Feeling This Way Too? I feel a connection with my therapist. Yes, this is transference. I remember reading about transference when I started therapy, and laughed.…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Do you typically refer a long term client out after there’s a rupture/intense fight in a session? She feels ineffective and gave me referrals for therapists with more training in dialectic therapy. I didn’t request Dialectic therapy!

  Based on things you’ve shared in the past, this therapist has been problematic for a long time now. Her main issue is lack of comfort or skill around client attachment. I’m not…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Does your family of origin reinforce your cognitive distortions, or your negative feelings about yourself? Maybe, in therapy, feeling so much better.. and yet, just an afternoon or two, setting you back..

  Yes it does, which is where I have gotten the sense that no matter how much work I do on myself I can never truly escape. It’s why as hard as it was I had to let them go. The…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Do attractive, beautiful, handsome psychotherapists receive more positive transference from clients than plain therapists?

  I doubt it. For one, different people are attracted to different things about someone’s appearance. More importantly, unconditional positive regard is always attractive, no…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  If therapists feel respect, love, and unconditional poz regard for all their clients (as many say so here on Quora) why can't they feel the same for everyone they meet/have ever met outside of the therapy room during their entire lives?

  That’s a really interesting question. I strive to show that unconditional positive regard for people in my life and I’ve found it’s not too difficult with people who are new to…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Are your parents remarkably, even blissfully unaware? In therapy, this topic, a common discussion.. still, how best, tamping down your emotions, with an elderly parent? What does your therapist advise, in cases such as this?

  I told my father once that I was in therapy, and even a little bit about it. My mother was the one who initially turned me off to therapy. Starting about the time I turned…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  If a therapist gives a very low hourly rate to a financially challenged client do therapists get annoyed when the client is seemingly irritated with the therapist for other reasons: do they think the client should be grateful for cheap consults?

  The rate agreed upon is a separate issue. A therapist should only offer a rate he can live with. It would be unfair to tie extra expectations to that rate beyond the standard…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Question about processing a therapy ending with a new therapist

  I’m wondering if it would be reasonable to meet with a new therapist to process the ending of a recent therapeutic relationship. Has anyone ever done this? Was it helpful? In…

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• wiser (65)in #therapy • 7 months ago

  Question about how to make it through a therapist vacation

  Hi guys, My therapist is gone for the next 3 weeks. I've been with her almost 6 years and this her longest absence. I was wondering what strategies wveryone else uses when your…

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