How do I ask my therapist for a hug. I love hugs they are the one thing that helped me stay on this world. I'm not sure about my therapist boundaries but she seems easy going. I have a huge fear of rejection and a long history of being pushed away?

in #therapy5 months ago

Thank you for the A2A. I have to warn you that you are asking someone who feels terrified of outright asking my own therapist for a hug… because what if he has a boundary against it (likely!) and then I feel devastatingly rejected? I would hurt… a lot.

What I have done instead is simply shared with him (during a few remote sessions) all my feelings and concerns about it. I made it clear to him I didn’t want to know his boundaries in that conversation but talk about how I felt and what I wanted. It turns out my feelings are quite conflicted about it and need to be explored and further processed, certainly before a hug even could become an option to put on the table.

Perhaps you could bring this question you asked me to a session when you feel ready? Even if your therapist turns out to be one who does hug clients and you end up asking her for a hug and receiving one… you don’t have to put everything on the line all at once. You can begin by sharing your mental process with her. That’s what therapy is for.