Hi guys,
My therapist is gone for the next 3 weeks. I've been with her almost 6 years and this her longest absence. I was wondering what strategies wveryone else uses when your therapist has a long absence. I had her write me a card with some positive quotes and encouragement, something i can have for connection to her while shes gone. I love having the card but im already struggling with not being able to connect with her via email mid-week. ( i can email her but shes unlikely on her trip to be able to respond). I don’t have much of a support group outside of therapy. I have just a couple friends and none really feel safe to be so vulnerable with. I'm going to yoga tonight , have a massage friday. Trying to fill my week with other connection things.
Three weeks is a long time and I’m so glad you reached out here for support!
By reaching out here you already took one important step to help you through this time. This is your chance to connect with a number of us who have been there and while not knowing exactly how it is for you, can sure relate to some pretty intense and challenging feelings around it. If you keep interacting with the various people who reply to your question, you might also begin to form some relationships to add to your support network. In my book online friendships are just as real as in person ones. Not only that, you just never know when life might work out for you to actually meet some of us in person. This has happened to me several times already.
You are welcome to submit posts here asking for support at various times in your process. So, let’s say a week in you’re feeling just fine and want to celebrate that, feel free to share a post about it and you’ll get people cheering you on. Let’s say that two weeks into it you’re feeling about ready to give up therapy altogether or simply feeling very angry at your therapist for daring to take such a long vacation, feel free to share about it in a post and you’ll get plenty of empathy. None of us really believe that therapists have no right to take vacations, but we do commiserate about how hard it can be for us when they do!
Something that has helped me immensely when therapy has been rough or I’m just feeling so broken or whatever is to intentionally help someone else. Perhaps volunteer at an agency whose mission you feel passionate about, or do something kind for a neighbor or friend or acquaintance. Try to help in a way that works for you, not forcing yourself to do something you really hate doing. For me, helping others can not only take my mind off my own problems for a time, but it can really lift my spirits, especially when I can see my impact is positive. I’m not referring to caretaking behavior here, but intentionally doing something kind for someone else or a group of people.
I also find it helpful to plan things that I enjoy doing, even alone. Perhaps going to a concert in your town, or watching a movie you really enjoy, some kind of art project—I love painting rocks with acrylic paint (the rocks at least are free!). If your therapist is OK with gifts, painted rocks fit the criteria for what a therapist can ethically accept, so there’s that. It might be fun to try something new, and art supply stores often provide full kits to complete a project, and basic art supplies aren’t too expensive, at least in the US. I also enjoy taking walks in beautiful scenic places and listening to music I like.
I do hope that this next three weeks while difficult, will also be fruitful and positive for you. Thanks again for reaching out.