Excerpt: It's funny, you know. We are so used to be judged that even when it comes to joy and fun in life, things that really do good for our body and soul, we come up with old and archaic doctrines that raise doubts. Religions have controlled our minds for so long, scolding us for being sinners that need to repent and be careful, because of the deity, 'up above' that watches each step we do. When it comes to sex the question we need to ask ourselves is simple - 'is there joy, or not?'. Read Catherine's question and my answer on this matter.
Dear,
I think that someone already asked this, but I need your advice. I have been seeing someone from my college for several months and I can definitely say he’s my boyfriend. I feel love for him but I’m not sure he is my True Lover and I’m not fully convinced that we will live together for the rest of our lives. Last week he asked me again to have sex with him and I really don’t know what to do. Is it wrong to have sex with someone who is not your True Lover? Maybe the word ‘wrong’ is too harsh but you know what I mean.
Thank you
Catherine
Credit: dragonage.wikia
Catherine,
No, it is not wrong to be intimately involved and to have sex with someone whom you do not truly love. It is not wrong because you are never judged; there isn’t any grand entity always watching you from above who decides whether or not you have sinned.
True Love is a state of consciousness that humanity is quickly moving towards. For some people it takes few years to reach that state, whereas for others it may take a whole lifetime and even more. On the journey, we meet many people and have many experiences some more pleasant than others. There is no doubt that when we choose to do certain things the outcomes can impede our journey, and in practice, we take one step forward and three steps backward. Although we learn from such events there is absolutely no need to experience any sadness or any failure on the journey. Your path can really be paved with gold, diamonds and beauty. So by now you already know to appreciate the dark episodes that come upon you and not to judge them.
When two people choose to join together they had better make the conscious decision to unite at all levels; meaning physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Once this full alliance is made, sex can become one of the most wonderful, rejuvenating and enjoyable experiences for a human being. The intensity of the feelings that are experienced in lovemaking, a kind of art performance, cannot be described in words but has to be felt personally. When you are in bed with someone you truly and genuinely love, you are placing yourself in a sweet place of empowerment, enjoyment and mastery all at the same time. You are fully connected with your body and your spirit and the connection, being perfectly appropriate, leaves no room for anything less than sheer joy, reassurance and happiness.
Credit: Amazon
At this point, I would like to recommend a book for you to read that briefly discusses sexual force. This book is called “Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon”, and I am convinced that the insights contained in the book will trigger from within you the necessary, silent catalysts which will, in turn, take you forward to many more understandings.
Sexual energy is very potent. It can destroy people or lift them to realization, beyond this realm. The topic deserves a separate post, probably even more than a few, and I do encourage you, for starters, to begin with your own explorations.
The question may rise now, within you, Catherine, "what am I doing with someone that I do not see as my lifelong partner? Am I compromising?"
And the answer can only come from you. There are times in life when relationships, no matter on which level, serve you greatly on your path. Your body goes through changes, your mind receives new thought-patterns and your spirit is able to rest. In addition, some bad relationships may serve as a reference. Often, we need to experience the dark before we choose light, to suffer before we can really say "no more; I had enough of this S*, now I am ready for joy".
You are aware that you are not with your True Lover. This is fine! However, the fact that you are battling with the question, whether or not to have sex with him, gives a proof, a wonderfully helpful tool, that something bothers you, that you are feeling a lack.
It's not my place to tell you what to do; Nor can I. You are living your life as a marvelous experience. With no judgment from your soul. Once you release the mass-consciousness opinions, you will discover that the answers come forth, easily, smoothly and rather peacefully. You will then find out that JOY is the bedrock of the reality, and then your decisions will become easier to make.
Good Luck!
Nice topic.
Sex is a very good expression of intimacy, love.
It should be with your fiancy not with anyone.
While God wants us to enjoy it with our partners,
He wants us to be intimate with him.
God fell in love with the world.
Ah, wise words indeed. God finds him/her self in the physical world and rejoices.
This is so good @nomad-magus. I love how mature you analyze the whole thing. It is not because you can't find another woman but you don't want to. Completely overwhelmed by this :) love is really more than a feeling because feelings fade. Even when you are angry, you would still want to protect her, that's like true love surpassing the momentary feelings!!!! There are so much gems in this article that I can't pinpoint too.
My friends in my earlier years would joke about me “being under the thumb” because I would tell my partner everywhere I was going to and how long I’d be, not that I wasn’t allowed to go, only that she’d know where I was and what I was doing. Then I’d get back home and laugh, or be sad, or sometimes cry about my adventures. And she needn’t ask I’d just offer the information up to her. And to me there is a deep and sacred trust between partners, a man that loves his woman will always be truthful to her no matter what.
I have to read this again and again, hence resteemed You are a true and powerful man, @nomad-magus!!!
My advice to Catherine would be, if she loves the guy and the guy loves her too, then there is nothing wrong with going ahead to have sex with him. May be am mistaken, but what is the definition of true love? Because according to me, everyone of us gets to meet their true lovers once in life and oftenly, our true lovers are not always our long life partners. We usually get married to other people and let our true lovers go and engage with some other people. It is also true that a person might be your true lover but you might not be their true lover. True love is something that I can't even explain here. It is more than just love and once you find your true love , you know this is the person and in most cases you end up sleeping with them but somehow somewhere you don't spend your entire life with them but they just never seem to go away from your mind. So back to Catherine, we don't only have sex with people we truly love, you can have sex with someone that you just love and trust me no one is going to judge you if you choose not to judge yourself. Thanks @nomad-magus for sharing.
Well said 👍
I liked very much the phrase:
"some bad relationships may serve as a reference"
It has never came to me as one of the reasons why we should experience bad relationships
Good point !
Sex gives a great feeling !!!The intensity of the feelings that are experienced in lovemaking, a kind of art performance, cannot be described in words but has to be felt personally..You do it,,There have nothing on true love,,Just an illusion..we meet up each other emotion !!!you should do what your heart say!!!!
I like this topic..
Thanks @nomad-magus..
Let's chill!!!LOL!!
Hi @nomad-magus just like how you keep saying that life depends on the choices we make though, with sex, they get harder. Let her follow her instincts sometimes our number one drive in life are the instincts and let her put aside the thinking that people will judge her
Its never good to for some one to position him/her self in a judgement circumstance as we human beings are all imperfect beings subject to mistakes. We error on several occasions. A piece of advise and correction with the deep understanding of who we are can be a good approach that keep all of us in peace.
Thanks so much @nomad-magus for sharing this great and wise piece of advise.
When it comes to sex the question we need to ask ourselves is simple - 'is there joy, or not?
Answer From me : Its really amazing moment and excitation moment for me.
When I think about love I wonder if there is only one true love in life? I had a relationship where I thought that this person was my everything, after finishing, I realized that it wasn't... then another one with whom I had a child, that it wasn't either, even when there was a lot of love, it was over! then there really is only one love?.. I'm not against having sex with your partner, but if I think you should feel comfortable to get to that level, I love this date:
Then the best thing is to feel good with a person and enjoy their love and companionship, giving the best of both worlds for a relationship, time will tell whether or not it is your true love, hopefully it is.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator
True love is a state of consciousness, as I explain here.
https://steemit.com/advice/@nomad-magus/from-a-slave-to-a-master-if-you-look-for-true-love-seek-enlightenment
It's indeed not dependent on another human being. When one reaches that state, then one automatically attracts the person that is seen as one's true love. On the path to that state one may have wonderful relstiondhips, which yet aren't true love. Why? Because one is still on the road.
Thanks, buddy.
it is ones choice
but the best to have is with the loved one
as it will leave a mark for ever
so better is to have it with loved one so that there will be no regrets later
If I could, I would tell her boyfriend my opinion:
Don’t push her to have sex with you, she will come to you once she feels ready. If you love her, it can wait, be patient. Even if you are in bed together, doesn’t mean you have to have sex. Assure her you are not with her just to have sex. Just cuddle and she will eventually tell you herself. 😀
They both have to be ready for this “next step”. And I think, because he keeps asking her, which at the same time can make her nervous about this whole sex thing, she as well may not be ready just yet. At the same time he doesn’t have to be her true love either to have sex. Even though I’m a Christian, I don’t believe in these rules “if you are not a Christian and don’t follow the rules, your doors to heaven is locked”. In my opinion everyone with a good heart has a way to heaven. People make mistakes, if she eventually feels she made a mistake, she can just move on.
This is my opinion before I read your response...
I wish the churches taught people how to make heaven here instead of frightening them...
not encourage :)
I relate to this so much, of course I don’t have a wife lol, but I relate to it.
Sometimes when your telling your partner where you are going and how long you are going, you just want them to know and like care for you, everyone has this and trust me it’s normal to love your wife in a relationship.
In my relationships I’m more calm and humourous, but when it gets to loving the person I portray my love through anger and no I don’t hit her or any of that sort, but it’s just a way of me expressing that she belongs to me. And finally i want say if you do not true love with man you shouldn't sex with the man.
Well...
It looks having sex with many partners makes your sexual life disgusting.... But while having sex it feela fascinating..
So my opinion is not to have sex with whom u dont love
This is your choice!!!!
If you feel and understand him,You will do it,,..True love may give a awesome feel which can't described..Sex is for enjoyment,,so whatever !!!!
I think this is not right..Sexual relation is not a main thing!!!
There have more feeling on True lover!!!!!
If it is forced or other person,,There have no feeling...So i think true lover is best ,,,Thanks for sharing @nomad-magus
Dont listen to your brain listen to your heart just go and enjoy the life with him dont think too much.
This is a good topic @nomad-magus..I believe on True love!!!!When i saw any girl,She seems as like my gf..I don't understand what happened!!!!
Thinking on her I feel something good..This emotion is not revealed to other girl..I researched on this..I think which enjoyment i get on her,This is not meet up others..That's all..Thanks again for sharing this topic..
lol!!!!!
What do you do when she seems as your gf!!!! How silly!!!
This is an illusion @nishuxr
awesome content!!!!!sex can become one of the most wonderful, rejuvenating and enjoyable experiences for a human being.
This is not fact for some people on true love..Sexual relation is more acceptable!!!!!I think so..I have not any experience !!!I agree with you @nomad-magus
Oh my dear innocent frnd ... Who thinks about nowadays....
Also think she is free to have sex with someone who she doesn't really love. As a guy sometimes i see people i want to have sex with but not necessarily love and its vise versa. Infact nowadays its easier than finding true love dear... that's how we were made and thats how life is
it a good article and one I'm sure took some guts to write. Having had an 'awful experience ' at 3 yrs old and coupled with other factors you obviously had difficulties forming relationships as you say. You've met someone wonderful you say, and all the way through your article you praise this lady, compliment her on bringing you out of your 'shell' and experiencing amazing sex - but at no point do you mention the word LOVE ? - just found it odd - I'm sure you do but you dont say it - good Sex is good in a relationship, but LOVE is the key in my opinion.
still a good post
[email protected]'s a awesome review on true love..If you love anyone truly, you will never forget him.Girls take it in serious..I can't do it,,This is not right,,Love is a gift ,,It's feeling never be described..I believe on this,,God created one person for one,,That's all.Thanks for sharing..@upvoted
Very simple answer: NO! Fornication is not something to be advocated.
Fornication???
The guy is her boyfriend. Unless you say that sex without marriage is fornication...
boyfriend is technically still fornication. I thought you were going to say, Husband.
Sex is Awesome moment but i can't believe that Sex Means doesn't Love.
Yeah its love but its for husband and wife not gf and bf. (personal openion)
You alone are the one accountable to whatever actions you will make and you've made in your life and you alone can decide if what you are doing is wrong or right.
Thank you @nomad-magus! :)
STOPThis is controversial topic ... Different person think it in differently.. In my opinion , No need to sex with man who is not your true love...The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming each the other's qualities
At this point, I want to ask if you are agnostic. Because theists will not have this kind of opinion.
Indeed
Whatever we do, be sure to face the consequences of our actions. Make the right decisions that will make you happy but at the same time see to it that you don't hurt anybody in the process.
wow that is really a hard question to answer. For me being a single mom it is hard to find the one true love. Someone that you thought of a your one true love turned out to be the opposite. So it is really up to you and how you handle the consequences. Now that I am a grandmother, my life has been more simple and laid back. But I can still give some recommendations or suggestions I did not live in the dark ages lol. Good topic @nomad-magus but very hard to answer
Its never good to for some one to position him/her self in a judgement circumstance as we human beings are all imperfect beings subject to mistakes. We error on several occasions. A piece of advise and correction with the deep understanding of who we are can be a good approach that keep all of us in peace.
Thanks so much @nomad-magus for sharing this great and wise piece of advise.
You know I won't go this way with you, religion or no religion, sex is not something you can just have with anybody.
It has the power to bound people together, their is an exchange in the spiritual realm with each person you have sex with, so why will you now have it with someone you yourself know is wrong.
I might be entitled to my opinion, but my own answer is NO!
With her explanation, she might not be too certain of what see wanted, but until she's very certain, she should not make her decision in an hurry.
I do understand where you are coming from. Been there, done that.
The pitfall is that we look for true love in someone else, and when it doesn't happen we are frustrated. True love is the natural outcome of realization. And it may take many life times. So is one bound not to have sex for so long?! 🤔
That's why I suggested the JOY as the guiding system in making decisions.
Thanks for expressing your free sovereign opinion.
You always have some interesting perspectives. I respect what you told Catherine , no one or God is judging her and she already knows what she must do and if she makes a mistake so be it, learn and move on.
But this last part had me laughing
HAHAHA it was like a pun was intended.
😉
This is truly awesome post @nomad-magus. My thought is...as long as we are not forced to do sexual activities it will give us tremendous pleasure. And no one have the right to judge that kind of activity. The love will come by itself when each of them (person) realize what things make their couple to be at his/her mind. Yearning is the most incredible think before true love coming to the heart. I enjoy this reading so much
ide "already exist in the soul of each" @nomad-mag.
sex it bothers our daily @nomad-mag.
If consequences dictate My course of action I should play God.
You are
Your post resteemed by @steemch