My relationship to my daughter is complicated in some ways I was a stellar mom in other ways horrible because I was too young and dealing with my trauma. And i have the bad days trust me and deep dark depression hole where i take care of the animals then slink to my bed and just feel sorry for myself. The trick to making it this far is -
surviving, you just find more of your groove the older you get I was a total mess at your age, insecure , lost , hurting and searching. Things find their way. And yes I left ass hat years ago. My diagnosis is Hereditary Neuropathy. It took them ages to find out what it was. As for school i went back to school at 41 got myself 3 degrees and it was the stupidest thing I ever did -LOL 4.0 GPA never opened a book and what for for a piece of paper and over 100000 in debt. Degrees are only useful if you are required to have one for a job. Otherwise just learn everything you want to know yourself. Be kinder to yourself, learn to refine your instincts. You cannot change the past so focus on your future one day and on hard days one hour at a time. <3
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That's kind of how I expect my relationship with my future kids will be... My mom and I got significantly closer when I was diagnosed with Fibro. It being hereditery and all, she has it too along with similar mental issues. Since being diagnosed, ive gained so much respect for my mother. She's so strong. With the amount of pain I'm in on a nearly daily basis, I can't even imagine how it would be chasing around 4 little kids. I'm sure she'll soon start seeing things from your eyes. I know I did shortly after reaching adulthood. Seeing my friends raise their kids, and wondering how I'd handle certain situations. When I became an adult, the relationship with my parents changed drastically because I could finally look at things from their angle.
I just read up a bit about your condition. I can't even imagine how frustrating and painful that feels. Losing sensations and losing your ability to walk. You've gotta be rolling your eyes at me as I complain; my pain doesn't even compare. It's amazing that you've been able to climb out of every hole you've dug, the same hole of depression I seem to be constantly stuck in. I'd stay in bed forever if my guilt didn't drag me out.
I have the same view on college degrees. I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying off debt for a degree I earned for a job I never find. So many people get degrees now only to find theres no work because there's so much competition.
My mom always says the same thing. "Take it one day at a time..
Or one hour at a time. Whichever seems easiest."
If youre not living in the past, youre living in the future, and when I look forward, I rarely see anything. I think I'd rather live in the moment and stop stressing over what ifs all the time. It's so much easier said than done. I wish I could sleep until everything becomes simple haha
I always try to think of life as 70 years of learning as many lessons as possible so that my next life is easier; this way I approach most shitty situations with a smile. I've just gotta figure out how to do that with the fibro. I better feel high as a kite in my next life though or I swear to god LOL
Pain is pain, suffering is suffering and nerve pain is the worst. have you tried using a tense unit when the pain gets to bad ? it can make it a bit easier it's sort of like white noise canceling out a tinus ....it works sometimes for me .. not always ...
I've actually never heard of a tense unit, I'll have to look into it! I've avoided medication because they only want to give me antidepressants and those make me crazy af. Muscle relaxers have helped. I'd like to workout more, eat healthier because I know that directly effects the flare ups. It's just hard when youre stuck in bed. I'll definitely look into it, maybe even try heating pads like my mom does. Thank you for the suggestion I hope it works for me (:
Cannabis oil can help, stay away from Pharma you are n the age group where antidepressants make you suicidal. tens unit > https://www.amazon.com/HealthmateForever-Electronic-Arthritis-Inflammation-No-USD723178S/dp/B00O7CM12W/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1519933880&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=tens+unit&psc=1
Thank you! I'm actually waiting on my med card to be approved and come in the mail right now, I'm really looking forward to trying all the different types of rubs and products. I'm getting antsy just thinking about it. I've tried so many antidepressants, it's considered treatment resistant. I absolutely refuse them now and that's the only way I've been able to get what I truly need. I'd like to switch over to a more natural method- cut out all pharmaceuticals and go with only natural things. I really hope the medical marijuana dispensaries have everything I need. It worked for my mom.