Today when I write this I think of my Dad. He was a man of a very high temperament. He would fume up in split of seconds. I would never know what would make him angry so was always scared to say anything in front of him. This resulted into me becoming very timid. When he was in good moods he seemed to be a very different person and then he would also joke that why am I so timid, but he least realized his behavior, and I would not have the guts to tell him.
I am sure he never did it purposely and it just happened to him, but he never realized the damage he was causing to the family which was not good and sadly I see the same trait with my elder sister, though she is much milder than my Dad. And then there are those rare times when I find myself slipping into the same but I consciously pull out. I am sure a lot of us are facing this problem.
Anger if not controlled can really cloud you up and take away all your capabilities. It does not only cause damage to you but your family as well. Controlling our Anger is very challenging but not something that cannot be worked upon. I don't think one should hesitate to confront this fact if they have an issue and seek help as it is a matter of your life.
There are times when we are so agitated with someone that we just want to blast out, I have done that many times and then later I realize that it was not the right behavior, so now I consciously choose not to hurry up in responding during such circumstances. I feel sometimes the Let Go behavior is the most apt thing to adapt.
What I do is if I want to blast on someone, I write it all down in a message but don't send it to the person. The next day when I check the same message I realize that half of it I do not want to say, and still I don't send it. and I keep reviewing that again and again and in sometime I realize that may be nothing of that message is required to be sent to the person.
Just diverting your mind to some calmer activities like Music, Meditation, A walk out in nature can help you control your anger.
Many people say "Oh I have a very bad temper" and I see they say it with a lot of pride, but I feel sorry for them cause they do not realize what harm they are bringing.
Thankfully I have been able to help my sister also control her temper with a lot of Crystal healing help.
The Mental and Physical damage you cause to yourself with your temper is one thing but you also end up hurting a lot of people, damaging relations, create a unhealthy environment around and ruin your family life if you cannot manage your temper. Just relax, breathe and do not be in a hurry to get back to the opposite person, when you will be calmer you will realize it was not required.
It builds nothing,
but it can destroy everything"
Lawrence Douglas Wilder
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Anger in those cases are just misplaced emotions you all care so much and want the best for one another but try so hard to control the outcome and not actually focus on why you feeling the emotions in the first place. Dealing with family is not always easy
Dealing with family is the most difficult and tactical task I believe.
Anger stems from fear, and simply put fear is the feeling of being separated from something, someone, or perhaps everything.. Rage pridefully protects and feeds this illusion of separation..
Consciously severing our connections via these negative emotions ensures the destructive cycle retains dominance.. It's a lose lose situation...
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Thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts @skramatters. You are right, when you display anger it is somewhere the feat that is steming out
Same with my father
We say he has anger in his nose, can appear in no time.
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I feel a lot of people display this behaviour generally, it gets passed on to children in different ways and when they grow up they have their own set of behavioural problems
That’s very true
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me too, but my dad was an alcoholic, so therefore it was the booze that determined his demeanor. It made the whole family neurotic. I had to work a long time to let go of these behaviors in myself. Meditation and prayer have been my best medicine to slow my thoughts so that I don't have to believe the first thing that comes into my head anymore, but it took years to get somewhat calm.
It was the same for me, my dad was on heavy alcohol, but the relief part for us was we were in a hostel so me and my sister had to spend only the holidays at home.
I know exactly what you mean, unfortunately when people do get very angry like that it just results in negativity and has the opposite effect then they intend anyway. Often it will lead to resentment from others and the control the angry person expected to gain is actually lost.
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They do not realize at all what they are dozing and bringing harm to others as well along with them which is a sad part
Anger is always a mirror. When someone is angry externally, they are simply expressing their frustration and anger with self that they can't absorb or integrate. Knowing this makes it soooo much easier to be with another angry person, and to send them love and healing whilst you gently step back to give them space. Nice post.
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True, if we are matured enough we can understand this but for children it is not possible and once this fear gets rooted in them they can leave them with life destructive patterns which goes a long way with them. It took me years of self work to get out of these traumas. I wish atleast these type of behaviour is not displayed in front of children by anyone
You are right, anger showing behavior of our parents affect us. My father is someone who when gets angry, nobody would have guts to speak. And sometimes there are no reasons to be angry. I got this behavior into me, I am working on it long time. But my brother also has got that trait and he does not even realize it. Whenever I try telling him, he fumes up like crazy.
Its a total spoiler to even think about this all.
When parents behave like this with children they dont realize what harm they are bringing to their child.
If you are matured enough now you should put this whole thing to rest my dear
yeah you are right, I an trying to let go. Also wanted to tell you, I really like your views and appreciate the kind of person you are :)
Thank you very much for those kind words. Grateful 💚
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La ira es la peor consejera, cuando el ser humano actúa bajo influencia de la ira los resultados nunca son buenos. Me gusto mucho tu articulo