Hey Mama sister. I want you to know I'm sending you so much love right now. I have been sort of absent on here, but I have been thinking about you through this. I know this heartbreak is hard, especially when you can't really take a lot of time to be with yourself and your grief. I'm glad you have writing to help you. I felt inspired while reading this to share with you something I was taught long ago. In Burkina Faso (and probably lots of other cultures. - I just know this one for sure from reading Malidoma Some stuff), they believe the tears carry the dead to the ancestors. I have also been told that lots of North American indigenous cultures believe tears feed the holy. I hope you are finding a bit of time for yourself to really experience the feelings. Sending you lots of juju, mama.
thank you supermama, I really appreciate all the support you have given me and I feel so lucky to have so many offer their support to me on here. writing has really helped, just trying to catch little snippets of time here and there. much love x