Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! It is here again from the stables of Zizy production comes another mind blowing episode of "Saturday Night with Zizy" Episode 19. Like some people said on the episode 18, this show is officially an adult, lmao. Yes it is another beautiful Saturday evening on the block chain and where better to spend your evening than on my blog getting beautiful relationship talks, dating tips and helping people solve their relationship issues and of cos the fun corner here to make you laugh. I sincerely apologise for not responding to messages as at when I was supposed to. It was due to some circumstances beyond my control.
Nevertheless I shall take this time out to appreciate those who always make it a point of duty to come around and drop well meaning comments. I am so grateful and I wish I can show you just how much grateful I am. To @korexe, @mickyscofield, @bookons, @dubem-eu, @burlarj, @eurogee, @gbindinazeez, @anikys3reasure, @mizdais, @rosyblessing, @sola3097, @doris-adioha, @winarobert, @dklef, @vheobong and the last but definitely not the least @surfyogi, you have been the backbone of this show. Thank you all.
Without much Ado, DJ play the music in jenifa's voice. LOL
RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY
Relationships are so tough these days but even tougher is the way most of them end leaving one person in a confused state of what could have possibly gone wrong. Almost everyone who has been in a relationship has experienced ghosting, some more than once. Some breakups are peaceful and you still reman friends while many end acrimoniously. When a relationship ends, everyone deserves a reason at least to understand why. You don't just ghost hoping they will catch the cue that it simply means the relationship is over.
WHAT IS GHOSTING?
Ghosting is an act of breaking up an intimate relationship by disconnecting all form of contact or communication with your partner without any apparent warning and with no justification and also ignoring their attempt to reach out to you or efforts to communicate.
As much as this makes you a coward, some people view ghosting as an easy way to signal the end of a relationship. They simply disappear and ignore their partner's calls, texts even social media messages without any explanation. It is a heartless behavior because in reality all you are doing is making your partner figure it out for themselves that they have been dumped. This could be very traumatic for the partner being ghosted because some won't understand why the sudden disappearance especially if everything has been going well and the future was looking promising. This leaves them wondering and waiting causing undue suffering.
Ghosting is a form of stonewalling. We might all have been ghosted before and even done it to someone. Ghosting isn't exclusive to relationships alone as it happens even in friendships. The Advent of social media makes it the more easy. It is a lot easier to block someone you met on a dating app because you don't have friends in common and were not introduced via any channel and so disappearing wouldn't affect you in any way.
People who ghost do not put into consideration the feelings of the other person. Some of them are of the school of thought that what will be will be and do not make any extra effort to work out any differences they may be having with their partner. If you are not ready for a serious relationship, you should be mature enough to communicate that thought to your partner instead of ghosting. Ghosting is at the bottom of the totem pole as far as accepted and mature means of ending a mature relationship is concerned.
WHY DO PEOPLE GHOST?
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Ghosting is an attempt by some people to avoid the awkwardness of having to explain their reason for giving up on a relationship. It is an easy way out and no need to watch your partner cry or beg for your love. It could also be that the other person has no major interest in pursuing the relationship any further. It could be that to him/her, it was just a spark of the moment.
Dating app is another reason why people ghost. It makes it so easy to block someone without any prior warning and move on with the next available single and ready to mingle. Some do it because they are afraid of commitment and the relationship is probably moving faster than they expected. Some have had it happen to them or their friends and have become desensitized to it and this brings about the likelihood of they doing it to someone else.
No matter the reason for ghosting, it is a lazy and very disrespectful behavior. A relationship that wasn't even significant to a person can take weeks to get over not because the relationship was fantastic but because some people can't handle being left without explanation.
WHY GHOSTING IS BAD
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It keeps the other person waiting. When you disappear without a word, it leaves your partner dazed spending weeks and perhaps even months hoping that something wrong didn't happen and you may return. They put their lives on a hold with much patience whereas you are long gone and moved on.
It shatters your partner: Breakup is hurtful enough but breaking up without a word completely shatters your partner. It doesn't matter that you are doing it to avoid the emotional moment that goes with breakup, ghosting breaks heart and kills self esteem of your partner leaving them traumatized wondering if it was ever worth it.
It kills any chance of trust. Ghosting makes you appear secretive. Why would you suddenly disappear if you have no hidden secrets? Why would you just fall off the face of the earth after you have promised forever? Ghosting kills any chances of trust your partner has for you.
Instead of ghosting, just say it is all over. Do not use someone. If the relationship is having turbulent time, talk about it. Dialogue resolves a lot of things. Do not throw away a relationship because of resolvable issues. If you are confused, do not even start a relationship in the first place. Respect your partner.
It is only an immature person that thinks it is okay to just avoid a relationship completely. Grow up. Before ghosting someone you have dated for a time, consider the chances that you may encounter the person again and he awkwardness that would create. Consider their feelings.
DATING TIPS
Be an open book. They either deal with it or they can't. if you can't be your most honest self with your partner, just know someday it will come out eventually. You can't pretend forever. Make those mistakes, someone who love you would stay and help you become better.
FUN CORNER (JUST FOR LAUGHS)
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Dating someone for four years without any sign of marriage is no longer a relationship, it is now a course. You are simply studying relationship management and analysis. (If you are in this department please find your coursemates).
DEAR ZIZY
ANONYMOUS 1
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I like this boy in my class and I told him by writing a letter and telling him someone else asked me to give it to him but he didn't believe me and kept asking if it was me. Being under pressure, I told him the truth. Now my problem is I don't even if he is angry or not because he is a nice guy. He simply told me he is not interested in a relationship but now I can't even attend my lectures for fear of seeing him. I don't know if he has told his friends about it. I feel so stupid. It's not like I wanted a relationship too because I have never been in one, I just felt it is right I let him know I'm crushing now. Please what do I do?
FEEDBACK FROM SATURDAY NIGHT WITH ZIZY EPISODE 15
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Dear Zizy, my world has come crumbling down. I don't have the will to move on anymore. After I told you about my boyfriend acting strange, I decide to heed to the advice from some of the comment and went to visit him unannounced. Hmm my God. Why are men so wicked? On getting to his compound I met no one at home and when I enquired from the lady selling in front of his house, I was told he travelled because that Saturday was his wedding. How I got back to my base I cannot explain. I checked Facebook and noticed he blocked me but I still was able to see his pre-wedding pictures on the wall of one of our mutual friends. It's just that steemit has taken so much of my time and I no longer Facebook if not I would have known all these was going on. I am very heartbroken. I hope I heal and get over him. Men are scumbags. They are evil. None should be trusted. I am serious Zizy. I hope they all burn in hell. Thank you for your time.
CONCLUSION
If you love this show and want to support, your SBDs and Steem are very welcomed. Supporters so far are @eurogee, @amec and @samminator@sammest and @smyle. Thanks a lot guys.
I hate to leave you but leave you I must
Until next time when I come your way again, same time, same blog, more hosts, I remain
Yours truly
@zizymena.
first to comment, first to answer all segments and first to answer impressively wins some sbd
Oh no! I ghost all the time, I'm so guilty of ghosting...when I get tired of talking or fighting for a relationship, I just build up a wall, talking but not speaking.
Anon 1; it's okay to crush on someone, even if he tells his friends, be the bigger person and move on with your life. You'd feel kinda weird for now but you'll have a good laugh about this later in the future, trust me. Wear your crown and your smile, don't miss classes.
Feed back from episode 15; I do not have a comforting word for you, I know how deeply you are hurt, but be thankful he didn't knock you up and get married to someone else. Forgive yourself so you can move on with your life and most importantly, love again.
Cheers!
This comment was made from https://ulogs.org
Talking but not speaking...
Humm
Booking repent eeeeeeh, don't be a bad shide...
At least let them know it's over before building the wall.
Don't bail out on them just like that
Good evening to you @zizymena. The show is officially an adult oh. It been 19 amazing week. You have stayed strong and continued to thrive despite the discouragements that have come especially from the market stats.
GHOSTING is something that seems to have become a regular occurrence in our society. People just walk out of those who care about them without any form of explanation. I don't think there is any defence reasonable enough to back this action.
I have friend who ghosted on a lady a while back and his singular reason was she would never understand his perspective. I felt bad for her because his actions has a lot of negative effects on her
Indeed I view ghosting as a very disrespectful act. But I've never had a better term to call that behavior... Thank you for the knowledge of the concept ghosting.
Anonymous 1
You let him know and he is still not interested! You have to move on. It's bad to always force yourself on someone or they will take advantage of you. He could start asking for things like school fees, that you pay for his textbooks and other school bills. Let it go!
Yeah anonymous 2
The men are wicked talk all over again. Yeah I've seen wicked men and great men. Some silent ladies in relationships do alot of investigations and check ups more than the always coming closer ones. You just have to take that as an experience... Perhaps a course like the fun corner and next time be more careful!
Humm, beautiful episode zizy
Ano1, lolss, i knoe how u feel but ypu dont have to feel awful about it.
Just dress up, look good, raise you head high up and go to class. Be frank about it, he might want to intimidate you about it, but dont fall for it.
Just accept it as a norms.
Ano2. Bae it over... Just try get over it, i know it hard but that life, and life happens.
I hope you find peace and love, i hope you find happiness and joy. Take care
Did her parents send her to school to crush? Let her read her books and come up with good grades jorrr... #naijaparents 😂😂😂😂😂
Ghosting has become a norm these days...people just stop talking, i feel it's because they don't want to live with the guilt of watching their other half beg for the relationship or probably the loath the horror of having to see their partner cool with the idea of them leaving, so they'd rather ghost on these partners to heal on their own. It's not always the best method to break a relationship but it is the easiest.
Anon1: Hey baby, whoever you are, i am certain you would laugh about this whole thing very soon, most of us have been there. Attend your classes and seat far from him if you have to, but the most important thing is that you have to continue living your life.
Anon2: Binge on chocolates and movies, scream and cry if you need to, but please don't carry that hurt in you. For yourself, heal. Go out with your girlfriends, in fact cuss him out together but make sure you don't keep the pain. Time would help though.
Y'all be safe out there, the world is too harsh 😭😭
Anonymous 1: it's okay to crush on someone. Sometimes, we can also get NO for an answer sometimes. It doesn't mean you will not get what you want eventually.
Personally, I prefer to see things from a positive side. He's telling you no may be for you to be with someone.
And please don't skip classes because of someone get your confidence back and the world is yours to conquer.
FEEDBACK FROM SATURDAY NIGHT WITH ZIZY EPISODE 15
It definitely hurts to go through such an experience. The deed has been done, you have to get yourself up and move on with your life. You cannot afford to let the actions of someone else dictate the outcome of your life.
You can heal if you choose to and you can love again. It's just a matter of time along with your determination.
Its been a while i drop by on the show, well am glad i am around today and to @zizymena well done, what you are doing with your show is amazing..
Anon 1:- You dont need to miss class cus of that, you have clear mind now i believe, and i do not blame him also for telling you his mind, even if he tells his friend be bigger like @bookoons said and move on, goto class say hi to him when you see him, you will see he will be all over you.Episode 15:- yay! First of all your conclusion is partly wrong, not all men are evil, that statement in philosophy is called "hasty generalization" however the one in question here is close to a devil truly, a heartless person, anyways my sister move on with your life, there is that special person out there that is exactly your type reach out for him and love again, remember because someone hurt you does not mean you have to punish the whole world. Thanks.
Hey Zizy there.
You are absolutely right about the ghosting thing but it depends on the condition under which one is "ghosted". Some are absolutely necessary when the other party has so fucked up. This is my opinion, though.
Be bold and step out my dear for you haven't committed any crime. Telling someone you like him ain't no cry even if the person decides to tell the whole world.
Hey lady, to generalise whole men because of one stupid guys makes you even more stupid I just must be Frank.
My first time of being here and I absolutely enjoyed it!
STEM contributor@sciencetech
Another mindblowing episode dear,thanks for sharing the ghosting topic it really isnt a nice thing to do it hurts so bad ive been there so i know how it feels.
Anonymous 1 i feel you should just try and gather the courage to continue with your everyday life the deed is already done to me i dont see anything bad in what you did so dont blame yourself for anything.
Anonymous2 sorry about your relationship thats life for you shii happens we get hurt kicked and pushed but the most important thing is to stand strong and not allow lifes troubles drown us am sure a better person is out there for you my dear.
Ghosting...... It's one of those things I hate in a relationship, it leaves the person being ghosted in a traumatic condition because that person may find it difficult to explain or mention one reason for the ghosting. I prefer a mature break up where we sit ourselves down to iron out issues... This is the reason I can't continue... Just as simple as ABC although the person accepting may be as difficult as reading ABC from reverse ZYX..... But even at that, we need to be matured.
A relationship between two matured persons should be ended peacefully because nobody can say what the future holds for both.
We may finally work together as colleagues tomorrow or be part of a company's management team.
Never break a relationship with ghosting because both party may not be safe.
Yours sincerely,
@anikys3reasure
Your naughty sis.
Nice one @zizymena love 😍. Beautiful days ahead, Never get tired or depressed.
Love you babe 😍
Supporters club.... Oya laugh 😁 small.
Ghosting, my initial thoughts:
Hey Honey... She's almost 20 why didn't celebrate her when she was 18? Lol...
Well done Honey. You're doing a great Job.
Ghosting... I've never done that and I've not had such an experience before too. Well I think it's so immature to do such and I think when you do this occasionally, you unconsciously bottle in so many things thus causing you to be more secretive and less communicative.
Dating tips... I can totally relate to that. I'm a living testimony. Lol
Funny Corner... 😂😂😂 Please also no man should coman put ring on my finger if it's not diamond. If it's more than 6 months and you don't ring the bell then I will easily n quickly sell it and move on... Lol.
Anonymous 1
Crushers ooooooo 😂 😂. All this class room love does not sweet me o. So ,first of all I'm proud of you. Not every lady can do what you did. And I love the fact that the young man was Honest. From what I read, it sounds like he turned you down nicely. Well, he didn't take advantage of your feelings not every man is that nice. So, brace up yourself and put on a smile. Try not to think about if he told his friends or not, besides you have nothing to lose if he did. Attend your classes, don't make him feel like he has a strong effect on you. Be nice if he comes around but don't be or act naive when you're around him. You have a life, so Live it!
Episode 15
So I missed this episode but I'm glad you tooK the advices that was dropped in the comment section.
First of all, please do not tag all men to be evil , this one just happens to be heartless. Like the men say, there are many fishes in the water. There are also many cute sharks in the ocean. So wait patiently and open your heart to welcome a better and bigger shark. He's a typical example of zizymena's topic for today somehow, he ghosted without a word obviously because he had a secret therefore he's a coward. I pity the wife to be, she doesn't know.
Honey, dust his memories off and move on. You're beautiful in and out someone who will value you will come around. Be Strong.
....@mizdais signing out....
Mena, I'm still waiting for the discord link to the air-hawk channel.
This episode is really loaded, kudos to you zizzy.
Anonymous 1 :- Please attend your lectures and be successful, I know its awkward but he might not be into you or might be taking his time to study you.
Anonymous 2:- The signs are always there. Believe me you have the will and power to get over it and love again. Goodluck
Today's topic reminds me of my very good friend who suddenly made himself unreachable simply because he felt he has arrived. I think pride and unnecessary ego is one of the factors contributing to this ugly trend.
Anonymous 1
I personally urge girls not approach a guy first because of this experience you're going through now. If a guy approaches a girl and she refuse, the guy will simply move on without minding whether she told anyone.
Please, summon courage and continue attending your lectures as its much more important than anything.
Anonymous 2
Please mind your words, that a single guy disappointed you is not reason you should be write trash against men.@zizymena, am glad you keep bringing interesting topics and handling them in a greatly satisfying manner, kudos dear.
so i decided to visit this show for the first time in a while and someone is already calling men scumbags
(walks out)
Straight to advice
Anonymous 1: believe me on this rejection is a myth,there is nothing like a rejection, it's just a thought from your head . For example before you wrote the letter to indirectly enquire if he feels the same about you, you were not dating, and after you gave him the letter , you still were not dating. Nothing changed. It only get worst when you go about thinking you are not attractive enough or you made a wrong move .I advise you let it be and see him more as a friend.
Feedback : I understand your feelings and you are very correct to call men what you believe they are, at least am happy you are learning. Sometimes in pain we can say things unpleasant but the better part of it is that you learn from what made you cry. It's a societal and biblical programming that you must get married one day not minding the fact that you were betrayed before. So my advice is that, you see the past as the past and allow new blessings into your life. Life is just like a game of card, you keep flipping until you get a win but then you learn from the failures
Hello @zizymena.. I will be your cheer leader for tonight show. Here it goes....go! zizymena go!!.
My first time of visiting you @zizymena, you are doing a wonderful work here,Keep it up dear.
For anon 1- i think you shouldn't miss class because of him, move on with school life and be the best you can be.. For me its never bad to crush on someone. Life continues no matter all odds.
For anon 2:- i understand how you feel, at times men can be heartless, tho not all of them but majority of them. So Baby just engage yourself with nice things and make yourself happy, try not to think about him cuz its just certain that his not meant for you. Your real mr charming will come and paint your world red believe me.
Thank zizy for this show, i will make it a date with you always.. Kisses
Lovely lovely. Yaya our show is now a full grown 'man' (yeah I know woman is the appropriate gender to use in qualifying it but whatever! Lol). Zizymena the show is now a matured handsome man.
The fun corner was damn hilarious oo.. I nor dey that department sha...
My Advice To The Two Anonymous Guests
1
You don't need to be scared. Attend lectures and stop hiding away from him. I understand this is your first time into relationship matters and all but there's really no big deal in what you did.
2
My dear you have done your part in trying to resolve the whole conflict between you and the guy. He has moved on and I suggest you do the same thing too. And please, don't go around shouting that "men are scum". Are you sure this whole experience hasn't taken a toll on your sanity? Why would you say that honey? You just had an experience with only one guy out of 99billion guys in the world so its very out of place to start screaming "men are scum". My advice? Take a chill pill. Try to get over the whole thing. It's just one experience, the perfect one will come at the right time. Please honey don't give up on love just yet and this is definitely not the time to join the harsh tag FEMINISM gang.
Hahaha (drops mic and runs away)
Wow @zizymana, thank you for another time out on this show. Forgive my typos (if any) because I did this in a hurry. See you around @zizymena