My condolences. Loss is never easy, and there is no time-frame to the lessening of the pain.
You'll get to the cemetery to visit her when you really feel ready, and no one but you is going to know when this is.
After watching my mother mourn the loss of her brother/my uncle for a long time, I did begin to think that it would be nicer to instead celebrate the anniversaries of their birth - when they came into our lives instead of when they left. You know? I doubt they'd want to observe us from wherever they may be, and watch us be so sad for so long.
hugs
Thank you.