I'm so jealous that you got to meet Paglia. Her Sexual Personae was as riveting as an 800+ page book on Western culture could be.
I'm sure there are many paths to homosexuality, and it's interesting that the connection to abuse isn't discussed.
I have a good friend who is gay, was raised by loving parents (well, his mom was the breadwinner and his dad was a dud, but not abusive) and who has gone on to be a successful ER physician. Another friend of mine is fiercely trans. (And you've got to admire the dedication - she was masculine 6'2" Scotsman and as a woman she's not far different). Also raised without abuse, but by another strong mother figure. Hmm. (Come to think of it I don't know anything about her father.) As a woman, though, she still prefers women.
Just about every man in my life was an asshole, but that God there was no abuse. I've often said that it's lucky I'm not gay - I'd have a terrible time getting close to another man.
A pity we can't talk about these influences more openly, because it's genuinely interesting.