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You have to understand that this story begins before I was 5, so naturally there are some blank spots... maybe some of it I blocked out, I'm not sure but I'll tell what I remember. I've tried all of my life to fill in the blanks, but to no avail... some of what happened I can surmise given what I know now. For example, there was no CPS before 1974, but there must have been some state agency to step in when something happens to children. I'm writing this to help people understand why I'm so dedicated in fight for families... this fight started over 20 years ago.
I don't remember my father, he wasn't around very much. I think he may have been in the beginning, but his visits became shorter and less frequent as time went on. All I remember of him was a set of Compton's Encyclopedia he gave me when I was around 3... that's how I learned to read. My mother I barely remember either. I remember her record player that we listened to records on, but the most prominent image I have is her in her chair by the window crying and watching for my father to come back. Her mother stayed with us for a while- I don't know how long, maybe a year. Here's where things begin to get fuzzy.
When my mother died it was just the two of us living in the apartment, so I must have found her- I don't remember. I had to have told someone and the state must have become involved. I do remember a large group of people in the apartment and one of them saying: "that boy isn't right, he doesn't even cry." I couldn't- I felt numb... I still feel numb. I never got to go to her funeral and I have no idea where she's buried- I don't even know her name.
The next thing I remember was being with "Aunt Pearl and Uncle Eddie." I have no idea who these people are, I had never seen them before. They lived in Boston, so if they were relatives I would surely have met them before. I have to assume they were foster parents. I wasn't there long- I don't really even remember spending the night, but I must have. "Uncle Eddie" had a big stack of girlie magazines behind his chair- I remember liking them. I also remember listening to my mom's record player and reading my encyclopedia. Then I was with Willie.
I was still 5 when Willie got me. In retrospect I figure that Aunt Pearl and Uncle Eddie gave or sold me to Willie. He was cruel- a sadist. I don't know if you can imagine- I really hope you can't- of being 5 years old and just losing your mother... the absolute terror and incredible physical pain of being sodomized by a 200 lb. man- over and over. He constantly threatened to kill me if I didn't do what he wanted. He said that the police were his friends and if I contacted them he would kill me. He reminded me over and over that I was alone and if he killed me nobody would ever know. He had parties for his queer friends... I hoped that one of them would help me, but they laughed at me and passed me around like a party favor. That's the problem with people that are only able to see the world in terms of their own self-gratification.
I guess Willie would lend me or rent me out. Men would take me to their house and do the same things as Willie. Most weren't as cruel- none ever threatened to kill me... but none ever helped me either. I figure they were probably afraid of Willie, he was violent. But sooner or later I always ended up back with Willie and his constant threats to kill me. This went on for 5 years until I was 10. My only solace... my only escape was my encyclopedia. This probably sounds silly, but when I read I could escape. I could go other places- far away and beautiful- far away from my misery and the brutality. Then one night my life changed.
I was in an apartment in Brighton that belonged to one of Willie's friends. There was a loud crashing sound as the front door was kicked off its hinges. I looked out of the room where I was reading and there was a man so big he almost blocked out the light in the hall behind him. I had never seen anybody that big in my short life. He walked over to the man that had me and picked him up and threw him off of a doorway. The guy landed like a sack of flour and didn't move. Then he came toward me... I was terrified. Then he asked: "Do you know who I am?"
I shook my head no and he said: "I'm your Uncle Arthur, your mother's brother and I've been looking for you for a long time. I can't begin to explain the relief I felt at that moment. We gathered up my stuff and he took me to his place in New Hampshire- a cottage on the outskirts of a farm I lived with him for almost 3 years until he died. He had a picture of my mother- she was pretty, dark hair and eyes with pale skin. Her name was Ruthie. I never thought to ask her last name... it didn't really matter at the time. The only thing that mattered to me was that the brutality had ended... I had a family. All I've ever wanted in my life was to be a part of a family. I spent the better part of my life on the streets. I never married until I was 43... I thought I had found Paradise.
I've written a lot about our battles with CPS over homeschooling and adopting the boys. My children, my family was my treasure- my dream come true. I was a part of something bigger than myself. But like everything else in my life, it didn't last either. But at least now you know why I fight so hard on behalf of families. Without strong intact families our culture is doomed and when the government itself is behind the destruction the fight becomes more important than life itself. My story in itself is insignificant... what is significant is that what happened to me is happening too frequently to other children because of CPS. If the government agency entrusted to insure the safety of children participates in the abuse- the fight becomes more critical than ever.
Children have no voice... except for us. God has seen fit to give me a voice and as long as I'm drawing breath, I intend to use it. Please support @familyprotection as much as possible- they're a voice for the voiceless.
GIF by @papa-pepper
This post has been Resteemed and Upvoted by @familyprotection
are using "Child Protection Agencies"
to take children away from loving families
and place them in foster care or group homes
or put up for adoption.
THESE FAMILIES NEED PROTECTING.
Thank-you @richq11
I am weeping. It is good that I understand better your motivations for speaking out on this topic. Your voice is so important.
Thank you my dear... If I can stop it from happening to one more kid, then I've accomplished something. Together we have strength! I've given it a lot of thought- why did God let it happen to me? I think because He knew I could take it and survive. Everybody needs to speak out because if we wait for the government to correct itself- we'll continue to lose generation after generation of children... may God bless you and @familyprotection for all you've done!
This...
Plus this...
Strong men don't need safe spaces, they create them. Sometimes a crucible turns out strong men
Now it's my turn to create safety for as many other kids as I can.
Your story is significant to me Rich thank you for sharing with us.
May GOD bless you and your uncle Arthur and everyone that supports familyprotection with voice, words or actions.
How good and fantastic your publication, is a truly moving story, thank God that you had the opportunity for your uncle to take care of you, as well as your story there are many street children who do not have the same luck, this publication touched my heart, I will be a follower of your publications and this pending for the next, I invite you to visit my post, this is a way to help us in this great family Steemit, with the profits that I get a lot are donated to a foundation to help and feed children of extreme poverty in a very humble neighborhood sector in Venezuela
Dear friend, you're right, children have no voice, but thanks people like you, children can have a voice.
You know your story touch me so much and I'm so sorry to know what happened to you, but I also know that the same story happened too many children. In my previous job, when I worked in the organitation to help people with drugs and alcohol problems, I heard many time similar horrible stories and every time my heart cryed. I don't have problems to say that this kind of crime is the most horrible crimes in the world and I really ate that people!
Looking back, I'm glad it happened to me rather than someone else... I'm strong enough to take it. It's up to all of us to give children a voice and to protect them from bad people. Thank you my very dear Silvia!
This post has been upvoted and Resteemed!
I appreciate you taking the time to share your very personal story with us about the battles of family protection, and how it did not protect you when you were so young and vulnerable. What happened to you was truly tragic, and you are correct, it is still happening to children every day that are in the foster care system. We need to work harder as a society to find the families for these children so that they can be reunited with their biological blood.
I would love to hear more suggestions from you about what Child Protective Services can do differently in order to make this happen less frequently. Your story is so important, but now we need a call to action for people. What do you want us to do in order to help in this battle?
I hope to read more from you in the future
As long as CPS can profit from destroying families they will. This is much bigger than just CPS- it's a concerted effort by a number of groups both inside and outside government to destroy families. That's their endgame- to destroy families because families are the one thing that keeps them from having total control of the country.
Thank you so much for your response. I still need a call to action from you. What can we as a whole due to start changing this?
I write about it to try to motivate people to do something... even if it's just to spread the word to family and friends that something is going on. If a lot of the people that supported Hillary Clinton knew that she helped write the UN Convention, or that her husband was behind the legislation that funds CPS stealing kids, they'll vote more wisely. Information is power.
I would also love to see groups like this get together with similar groups around the world (or even in America & Canada). There's a group called Porthole to Justice on Facebook that has a radio show... I just joined up with them. I'm just an old man who can write a little bit. I'll be gone in another year or two, but I'll keep writing as long as I can. Talk to people where you live. See if they have had any experience. We need to bring people together!
I don’t know what to say except that I am grateful that you survived. You are here today as a strong and righteous warrior for children. They need us to rescue them like your uncle did. Bless him for never giving up looking for you. We will never give up working to ensure all children have a safe and loving start in life. We will also not rest easy until sick evil bastards, like the ones that abused you, get what they deserve! Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to fight.
Thank you!!! My only regret- and I know this doesn't sound good- is not having stood over Willies dead body having the last laugh! That was my vision- looking down at him dead!!!
Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, but the Lord also helps those that helps themselves; there's an acknowledgement of retribution in there, and Jesus did take a whip to the money changers
Your story boggles my mind. It so sad and makes me angry to think that people (animals) can treat children this way. I have heard so many stories where the system had failed children resulting in their deaths. I am glad to hear that you are a survivor and that you have found some peace and happiness in your life.
That's why I do this!
I wish I could find something meaningful to say, but there is nothing to say. No words could ever take the way the pain of the child you were. I was thinking of the saying 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' - but it doesn't apply to your story - in only leaves you broken. A survivor, but a broken one.
I just want people to be aware enough to stop it from happening to someone else... I'm old now- I made it through and nothing can hurt me now. But maybe people will get pissed enough to do something about it before it's too late. The government- CPS in particular- that's not only allowing but causing it to happen.
Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t even imagine, and it breaks my heart that this sort of thing still happens to innocent children today. It’s been a real eye opener to read all these CPS stories.
It happens a lot more now... this was from 1950-55
Thank you for all that you do, in bringing awareness and attention to something I genuinely believe most people have no idea about. 90% of the population think of adoption, foster care and children's "services" as a strange caricature of "Lil' Orphan Annie."
You experienced things no child should have to endure, and especially no child growing up in a so-called "civilized" society. I am uncomfortably and sadly familiar with what you describe, having been on a "journey" of my own, involving fostering, psychotic family and other things... so THANK YOU for giving children a voice!
The more people that speak up the better the chance something will be done to stop it! Thank you!!!
You are truly a blessing, a miracle walking this earth. Your story caused me to cry as images appeared in my brain of what you went through. God definitely has a plan for you, He is using you today to save someone else. Your boldness to speak of your past is an open door for someone else that may be struggling to speak out. May God continue to use you and your testimony of finding life. I hope your story lifts so many hearts as it raises attention that something is wrong and there are children being abused everyday. We can’t just sit comfortably while this goes on. God Bless you Rich~
Thank you and you're absolutely right about doing something. I intend to make as many people as I can uncomfortable- uncomfortable enough to get off their asses and do something... even if it's just speaking up.
This post has been upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs
Oh my!, @richq11, I can now feel the voice behind your post. Sorry for what has happened, but I am most happy that you are fighting against the system and helping in your own unique way. God bless you Sir Rich!.
The fight continues today. I'm not tagging it under familyprotection though because it's not related to CPS.
I will surely check it out
https://steemit.com/africa/@richq11/raping-africa-back-to-congo
Thank you for surviving. Your voice must suffice for those who are now silenced...
As long as I can write... I'll keep fighting!
POWERFUL....blessed are the warriors ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am sorry for you. Children should not go though what you have experienced. We all have a story that has shaped us. We carry the baggage. And no child should go though this. Not everyone deals with the baggage. Most folks do not know how to. Writing about it and journaling is one good way as you re doing. Counseling is another. God gives us crosses in life to bring us closer to Him. It does not always work. But at least you and I and others can speak out in an effort to help others who are going through the same. Thanks for sharing your special and important message.
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You know, I watched an interview with Jordan Peterson and Camille Paglia the other day, where Peterson pointed out that while most abusers were abused as children, not all children who were abused go on to become abusers.
It's a hopeful thing to consider - otherwise the epidemic of abuse would spread to consume everyone within a few generations.
Your family and your actions are proof that the cycle can be stopped.
Camille Paglia is really a cool person. I was in Washington presenting a paper at the Am. Poli Sci Assn conference in 1993 and I met her in the bar at the Hilton (where the conf was held). We chatted for about an hour- rating chicks when they came in lol!
I guess in the grand scheme I came out kind of weird. Most people that are abused not only become abusers, but most boys abused by men come out gay. I came out the opposite.
I'm so jealous that you got to meet Paglia. Her Sexual Personae was as riveting as an 800+ page book on Western culture could be.
I'm sure there are many paths to homosexuality, and it's interesting that the connection to abuse isn't discussed.
I have a good friend who is gay, was raised by loving parents (well, his mom was the breadwinner and his dad was a dud, but not abusive) and who has gone on to be a successful ER physician. Another friend of mine is fiercely trans. (And you've got to admire the dedication - she was masculine 6'2" Scotsman and as a woman she's not far different). Also raised without abuse, but by another strong mother figure. Hmm. (Come to think of it I don't know anything about her father.) As a woman, though, she still prefers women.
Just about every man in my life was an asshole, but that God there was no abuse. I've often said that it's lucky I'm not gay - I'd have a terrible time getting close to another man.
A pity we can't talk about these influences more openly, because it's genuinely interesting.
@richq11, you left me speechless ...Started reading your post because of telling of those blank spaces in memory...Have something similar, but it relates to memories of friend and events before becoming war refugee in 1991 ...But reading your post, I felt like my life and suffering is nothing comparing to yours..Must been a large battle with yourself coming to this place where you can share with a world events that happened to you..Embracing your self with all the wounds ...hardest thing..
Keep on protecting and caring ..
Thank you... Until I got older, I never really thought a lot about it- I just lived as best as I could because there was nothing else for me to do.
It breaks my heart to hear what you went through. It is just so hard to believe how cruel people are and there are so many people like that.
So happy that your uncle found you to end of this terrible experience.
I applause you for sharing your story and fighting back and never giving up. You are making the difference and making this world a better place by speaking out your voice and for that I thank you.
Thank you... I'm old and I'm fine now. The fight is for the children now!!!
You have so much courage to write out the details. I’m glad someone finally rescued you and gave you an idea of family and you can still love, care, and respect others. I too escaped in books my father left me when my abuser tried to break me. Books and art saved my life❤️
I'm so sorry... I had no idea that you suffered abuse as well! I'm happy that you're ok now and have found some peace! Thank you for understanding!!! Ah, the power of books!
I am sharing what I found when working on letting go of my trauma with my grandkids. The trauma I suffered as a kid hurt my immune system. I’m a work in progress and share my story hoping it will help people.
Aren't grandkids wonderful??? What a blessing... I have 15 and it's wonderful seeing them safe!
Thank you @richq11 for being brave and sharing your history with us, I fully understand and respect your determination and heart to help put an end to child suffering.
I knew your were passionate about these subjects and now I know why.
Thanks for continuing to raise awareness on a problem that NEEDS fixing.
Thank you! That means a lot!
Very sorry you went through such abuse. Mean people suck and the justice system is a joke anymore.
The justice system is behind the abuse... ripping families apart for profit!
Thanks for sharing that Rich.
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MEEP! MEEP!
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"Hello! I'm @shadow3scalpel and with the help of my protege, @chairborne, we are actively assisting veterans, retirees and active servicemen and women here on Steemit. We feel it is our 'duty' to support each other. Any questions or comments you may have, simply respond to this comment, thank you!"
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Yes I realize this my friend..I think you are great..I appreciate to your blog..Best of luck.
this is very kind of you to say,, I feel the same thing like you.
you are doing lots of efforts and too many lazy ass people should rise their voice like you.
Children should be allowed to grow with their families as long as parents are alive and well , children shouldn't be separated from their parents. Parents have a right to raise their children , government can support parents to raise their children in other ways apart from taking them away, every child deserves to be happy and every family deserves to be protected.
Great story dude.
Family is such an important factor to life.
awesome story man....really a great post...can I share this story to others can I resteem your post?
A weak man is just by accident. A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mahatma Gandhi
On holes in memory.
These holes are not passive, they are active.
If something in your current life fills the criteria, it will disappear too.
I have an extremely good memory.
So, it is interesting to me that I cannot remember certain things.
After my mother died of cancer, with me taking care of her the last years of her life. (much to the dismay of my life, now I am pretty much homeless) I talked to one of my sisters, who told me of some of the things my mother did. And, it was a good thing that my mother was dead, because if I had known she did such things, I would have taken a baseball bat to her. (normally I wouldn't harm a fly, and rarely get angry) You just don't do such things to a child, not even in jest.
But, the really odd thing is, I remember the conversation and the anger, but I cannot remember any of the things in the conversation.
The trauma you can’t remember hides in knots in the body it’s also part of our conditions that blinds....there are ways of letting go without have to remember🌀🦋
It is normal for people to have vacancies in our lives
.
I read your post... If what you say is true, why are you asking me to do your research?
Confused ???
He sent me comment asking me to forward research to him... also his blog page is full of drug stories.
When you get a chance please check steem.chat
Your story is so tragic, I can't even begin to imagine what experiencing that much have been like. While I admire that your upbringing inspired you to help other families my heart breaks for you. Here is one more reason for me to appreciate steemit; here is a way for me to support a cause I otherwise wouldn't know where to begin in terms of helping.
Heartbreaking story, @richq11. Thanks for having the courage to share it. I'm amazed by the person you are in spite of it all. God bless you. I make mention of you in my prayers.