You know, I watched an interview with Jordan Peterson and Camille Paglia the other day, where Peterson pointed out that while most abusers were abused as children, not all children who were abused go on to become abusers.
It's a hopeful thing to consider - otherwise the epidemic of abuse would spread to consume everyone within a few generations.
Your family and your actions are proof that the cycle can be stopped.
Camille Paglia is really a cool person. I was in Washington presenting a paper at the Am. Poli Sci Assn conference in 1993 and I met her in the bar at the Hilton (where the conf was held). We chatted for about an hour- rating chicks when they came in lol!
I guess in the grand scheme I came out kind of weird. Most people that are abused not only become abusers, but most boys abused by men come out gay. I came out the opposite.
I'm so jealous that you got to meet Paglia. Her Sexual Personae was as riveting as an 800+ page book on Western culture could be.
I'm sure there are many paths to homosexuality, and it's interesting that the connection to abuse isn't discussed.
I have a good friend who is gay, was raised by loving parents (well, his mom was the breadwinner and his dad was a dud, but not abusive) and who has gone on to be a successful ER physician. Another friend of mine is fiercely trans. (And you've got to admire the dedication - she was masculine 6'2" Scotsman and as a woman she's not far different). Also raised without abuse, but by another strong mother figure. Hmm. (Come to think of it I don't know anything about her father.) As a woman, though, she still prefers women.
Just about every man in my life was an asshole, but that God there was no abuse. I've often said that it's lucky I'm not gay - I'd have a terrible time getting close to another man.
A pity we can't talk about these influences more openly, because it's genuinely interesting.