Many westerners have an issue with certain countries being oppressive by "making women cover up". This a very shortsighted attitude. A woman's body is sovereign, hers to do what she likes with, within the laws of the land she is in, and her own beliefs. She should be able to wear what she likes, and feel safe, confident, and accepted for who she is, in doing so. In a Utopian world this would be the norm I believe. But we don't live in a Utopian world, we live very far from it.
Men and women have a different biological makeup. This has worked as a way for the human species to procreate to the point where we now dominate nature in many ways. Some would argue we have even over-populated and become a "pest". I will leave that argument to environmentalists and eugenicists, for now. The point is, our basic, biological sexuality is efficient, and that deserves our respect.
Men are highly reactive in their sexuality. Their physical responses to real, or perceived, erotic stimuli are highly visible. It is automatic and cannot be controlled any more than a sneeze can be. They also have a brain, which allows them choose whether to act on this arousal or wait until it subsides. How much control they have over their actions usually depends on their attitude, which is usually subject to their environment. Their culture, their family upbringing, role models, education etc... It is as varied as the human race is.
Sexual harrassment, assault, and discrimination is a problem everywhere. If you have not consciously experienced it personally, then you are privileged, no matter which country you are from.
Let's, for a moment, talk about western standards of dress, what we perceive as this so called, complete freedom to express ourselves through our attire. We are not free, we are oppressed, just in different ways. For a start, we are told constantly that we have to be a certain body shape and size to be able to dress very minimally. And the money, time, and sacrifice... energy, some women put into that is all encompassing. Why do we do it? Because we are judged and discriminated towards and against, based on our weight and proportions.
Many women have learned to not be affected by this judgement, but the judgement remains nonetheless. Some may argue it is not an issue. It may not be for you, but the growing amount of eating disorders in women is indicative that it is a major problem. Of course this an issue for men too, but that is another entire article waiting to happen. The rapidly growing industry of the most extreme form of body mutilation, cosmetic surgery, is also indicative of the unhealthy pressure placed on us.
We see "female role models" on television, in movies, all sorts of media, and the most disturbing to me is the music industry. Pop music is aimed at very young people. A large
proportion of them under 18. And do we see the way most women dress and dance on these video clips?
Dressing, and moving, in a highly provocative way... our little girls are exposed to this from a very early age, even with certain toys for pre-teens influencing the trend. Dolls, aimed at pre-pubescent girls, having the appearance of someone who is having a big night out at a nightclub, with their half closed "come hither" eyes and their ubiquitous, sexy, full pout. Don't forget feet designed unrealistically to only wear high heels. These are adult concepts associated with sexuality. And our youngsters are expressing the desire to follow this fashion at a much younger age than anywhere near appropriate, and being encouraged and allowed to do so, all too often. I often get attacked for these sentiments, which many psychologists agree with, by the same people who say a covered woman is a sign of oppression. The mind boggles. When you have to spend small fortunes and much of your free time, prettying yourself, to conform, and are encouraged to rely on responses to your aesthetic, outward "beauty" to feel good about yourself, is this not oppressive? I feel oppressed and won't buy into it. I like getting dressed up, I like make-up, but on my terms, as a form of expression, not because my self worth, and confidence, rely on it.
The other extreme is women being forced, by law, and convention, to cover themselves completely. Force is the key word here. Forcing women to cover absolves men of much personal responsibility. As I mentioned, men have a brain which allows them to control their actions. And non-consensual sexual harassment or assault, is against the official ideals and laws of every country I know of. (If I am unaware of a country that has legislation that allows these things by governmental law, I would like to see the legislation). So forcing someone to sacrifice self expression so that others don't have to take responsibility for their actions, it is a form of oppression. There are underlying practical and sexist pretenses, in both of these scenarios. And both are extreme.
So that said, I am advocate for personal choice, within reason. As men have an automatic, biological response to women's bodies, I think fair is fair to keep that in mind when you are around men, have some respect for the fact that they will look, they will respond differently than you do to a semi-exposed male body. It is his responsibility to control his gaze, but it is your responsibility as to what you give him to gaze at.
When I was in other, stricter cultures I balked, at first, at sacrificing some of my self expression, via fashion. But I got used to it as time went on, and I began to really like it. As the only white woman (the only one I saw for weeks was in the mirror) in an area filled with darker skinned people, I was the object of much attention. I don't like that. I want to go to the shop without everyone staring at me. So I adopted the local fashion and hijabs. I found the hijab offered me much privacy. People still caught glimpses of the white skin, hands, and face, but I could pull it around me and use it like blinkers on a horse. I felt secure, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, and I also went far more unnoticed than when I was more exposed. I also adopted a very covered, black attire, with just eyes exposed, but covered with sunglasses when I rode the auto rickshaws in Delhi. Almost every set of traffic lights, in the most congested traffic I have experienced, sees beggars, many are children, who see a white foreigner as a big dollar sign (well rupee really) and it got annoying. Keep in mind these are "begging as a business" families, who should be putting their kids through school not on the street learning the begging trade.
In one Muslim country, wearing loose, black clothing and very covered hijab, I was surprised at the respect it gained me. Almost like an old fashioned respect. I have never been treated so well in my life. It is hard to explain. Once you have experienced it, then come back to Australia and have unfamiliar men be so overtly and nauseatingly rude, as in, and I quote, saying "You want to suck my dick, I can tell" (seriously it's happened to me more than once in my life) you see the benefits of clear rules regarding strict conducts, in social situations.
I have given the issue much thought. I like to be uncovered when it's hot. I like to be covered when it's cold or I am feeling vulnerable. I acknowledge men will look, even though they might be good at hiding it.
Many days I wish I had a niqab, the all black coverall with face exposed, or even a burqa to pop down the shop in complete anonymity. But sadly, in Australia, wearing these things can make you feel even more exposed and vulnerable, and at times unsafe, which is disgraceful in an educated country who's laws protect these sorts of freedoms.
The most marked difference I have found, wearing a hijab here, or in places where it is the norm, is that it directs attention to where I am comfortable with it. To my face, my eyes, where men see a human being, and are more likely to clearly hear what I have to say as my generic, solely physically, alluring bits are out of sight and proportionately out of mind. It allows more attention to be directed to my mind and the importance of the stuff going on there.
I have met many women who have experienced this as well. And I have met women who won't even begin to believe it happens. But it is up to the individual as to how they want to be perceived, and what methods they use to try to accomplish this.
So finally to Saudi Arabia and the covering by law. I know Saudi women who like it, for the same reasons I have discovered for myself. Is it ethical or fair to force women to cover up? I don't believe so. But in a society that oppresses women by pressuring them to achieve a certain body shape and size, as to look good in various stages of undress, a small part of me envies Saudi women.
This is wrong on so many levels. You envy women that live in a society who stone them to death. Imagine if in Australia we forced women to dress head to toe in black when we allow them to go outside in the blazing sun.
You don't know what you've got till its gone
I would imagine from your comments that you are, commendably and passionately , anti violence against women, and are doing everything you can to stop women being killed by their husbands and boyfriends in your own country. One woman a week is killed by their husbands or partners in Australia. You must be an active campaigner against victim blaming and light sentencing, in rape cases as well. Good for you.
I also see that you did not read the entire article as I covered the other issue in my blog.
I understand how someone could feel protected by the clothing they wear but I think it should be their choice to wear what the feel most comfortable in.
And here in Australia we have a major problem with domestic violence especially in the indigenous community that I hope one day we could end
Domestic violence is a huge problem everywhere, in every country, in every culture and every social tier.
And the only way it will stop is by people standing up to these bullies (some women do it too and think they can by playing the "I'm a girl" card, but women are more likely to be emotionally abusive).
And Pro choice is the way to go in most situations. As long as we respect the rights of others, and the motto, do no harm, is respected, free choice is the basis of freedom. But try getting people to do that voluntarily. People are assholes LOL.
feminism is cancer
Charming.
You do know that even short, ugly comments, even ones that are extremely cruel towards people with cancer or loved ones with cancer, ups my reputation right? And replying gives me curation rewards too.
more people think that now then they used to
Well it's true. That's the way steemit's rewards system works. They should believe it.
Unless you're referring to people not liking feminism. Saying it's cancer is really awful towards people affected by cancer. An explanation of what you believe, and why, would be more beneficial in creating a society you want.
I personally have seen the extremes of feminism. I have seen the breakdown of the family unit. When abuse is involved, and the situation is going to continue, then yes you should leave. But I also see relationships breakdown because people just don't try anymore. This is supported by Statism far too often and is actually a way of the state hijacking reliance that should be kept in the family and community. It gives governments a lot of power when whole demographics rely on them for survival.
Commitment is a dying concept in the west. Feminism as a way to try to achieve superiority is not feminism. It's tyranny. Feminism to achieve equality in a patriarchy is noble. Is this in line with what you are thinking and feeling?
instead of a long winded response, this video explains why view
above video shows you why i think why i do
Watching it now.
I think this guy backs up some of the things I have said in my blog. I agree the lie that all defined gender roles are a bad thing, is a bad thing. I went through my 20's in the late 80's and early 90's. There was a massive shift in gender roles and the acceptance of equality. The thing we lost along the way is that men and women are different. We can be different and still equal. Some feminists believed that they had to be more like a man to be equal to a man. Which is nonsense. Many women were pressured into feeling inadequate if they chose to focus solely on their families. The key word is choice. It usually is. And we have lost much respect for the role of Motherhood. I am a mother and a grandmother and I see lack of respect for both parents actually, becoming a huge problem.
This guy brings up some excellent points. I wouldn't be throwing the baby out with the bath water just yet though. As a woman who has experienced inexcusable sexual harassment and even assault, I can tell you the rape culture does exist. Maybe not in Milo's world, or yours, but it does in many women's lives. Social experiments have proven that the patriarchy isn't a myth. It still lingers, and I do see some of Milo's opinions as extreme. He doesn't have the authority to comment on whether or not women experience harassment, or touching in the workplace, because he's not a woman and has never experienced what many women do.
He is slightly misogynistic. And you can hear the emotion in his voice when he says something misogynistic. He has issues, but I would say he strives to be balanced considering this bitterness he feels at times.
I agree 100% with him that people with extreme views, hardheaded views, from the left and the right, and who have done little valid research, are not able to hold a proper debate based on facts. People are swayed by their emotional attachment to past events, maybe trauma, and what they see as a possibility of gaining the upper hand without considering the consequences for all. Agendas are always a big factor in ideologies.
I don't think he will have much sway over hardheaded leftists, but I worry he may be misquoted by hardcore rightists who would be happy to see women back in the kitchen with the kids clinging to her apron. He speaks so quickly too.
I am pleased someone is willing to throw themselves to the wolves and say these things. Some of the things he says are wrong, but he also says some other things that do very much need to be addressed.
On the note of feminism on the whole being a bad thing, until we see women across the globe being given equal rights, and fair representation in the media, politics and business, then the word feminism, and it's original goal will have to stay. Our ex-Prime Minister here in Australia pretty much crucified his career with outdated, chauvinistic comments. Speaking about giving the women of Australia something to think about while they are doing the ironing. Saying women didn't have the "aptitudes" that men have to be in the workplace, when he was clearly being patronising. Also Trump's comments regarding grabbing pussy, is rape culture. It is illegal to touch a woman without her expressed consent. He thinks he can treat them however he wants. So also, these people being elected as leaders, points to equality having a way to go yet.
But thank you for the video. It is very interesting and I will be taking on board some of what he said, as a lot of it (not all) was spot on correct. Especially on the subject of women being chauvinistic and unfairly hateful towards men.
Interesting post, my ex often expressed a desire to wear a burka to avoid cat calls etc.
Re: sexual assault and rape laws ... I swear raping your wife is perfectly legal in a few Muslim countries? Not fluent in Arabic or Urdu though so would have trouble pulling up the relevant legislation.
Re: 'professional beggars' in Dehli ... doesn't India still operate under a caste system? I've met and talked to professional beggars in Sydney, but even they were Redfern/Glebe commish lads so chances are the ones in Dehli are legit lol
Very much doubt wealthy Indian families send their kids out into the street to beg.
Some begging families are very comfortable financially, surprisingly so, and these are the ones I'm referring to. I have a couple of intimate friends who belong to one of these extended families. I have offered to take "injured" children to the doctor, I have offered to sponsor education for some children and my offer has been refused. This type of business is frowned upon, by most, and accepted as convention by others. It's not my country and I have to accept the way they do things, but I agree with those who frown upon teaching your child the begging trade when you can afford to put them in school.
I would be interested to know which countries you are referring to. My husband speaks fluent Urdu, Pashto, Dari, Hindi and English, and is Muslim so has a decent understanding of Arabic. I can check if you give me the names of the ones you suspect. If it's other countries and languages, I can more than likely resource translators. It is unacceptable to me and I should be aware.
(w24.co.za)
See http://www.w24.co.za/Wellness/Mind/infographic-marital-rape-is-still-legal-in-these-38-countries-20151127 for larger. India's an interesting one.
Perfect. Thank you.
Marital rape isn't actually legal in Afghanistan. And to my knowledge it isn't legal in Pakistan either. Both countries run on Sharia Law and the Qaran forbids abusing your wife sexually. But Afghanistan is still very Middle Ages in many ways. I can't speak intimately about the other countries on the list. Judges often rule in favour of wives in different instances, but the onus is usually on the woman to "suck it up honey, men are the boss" once the marriage is concrete, especially with people who were heavily influenced by Wahhabbism during the taliban reign. (Not in my marriage though, as my hubby found out pretty quick) And it also depends on where in the country too. There must be huge loopholes in the legal constructs on top of assorted uneducated and ignorant officials. Which is common in underdeveloped countries especially in rural areas, where convention and personal beliefs may be the main motivator in rulings, rather than actual law, or maybe the other way around. The judges are men, women are oppressed, there is no denying it. Oh hell. Let's call a spade a spade and say the countries are corrupt as hell. Most Afghans would totally agree. Well. I have another ugly project to start. But someone has to do it. I can get info from Amnesty too. They're good like that even though their info is sometimes used out of context. Thanks for the starting point.
No worries. Quite a few Arab and North African countries also have laws which require a rapist to marry his victim and by doing so, he avoids punishment. The victim usually has no say in this. These laws are slowly becoming less common, but there is still an ingrained cultural expectation.
It is very hard to outlaw something that is culturally acceptable. Even in European countries, many poll respondents don't believe it is possible for a husband to rape his wife/or are unaware that it is been made crime (lots of laws outlawing marital rape are only a couple of decades old, if that).
I saw a documentary about people in jail in Afghanistan, both men and women, who were there for having sex before marriage. They had to get married before they could be released, in the jail. I think the emphasis of on the "sin" of pre-marital sex comes from the fact that a baby may come from it. So it somewhat protects women from becoming single mothers. I would say marrying your rapist is a skewed version of this logic. Sickening isn't it? I've found I get a deeper understanding of my own culture when I research these things. We still see the lingering effects of gender inequality in many situations.
There is also the problem of multiple marriages. You have to have a good reason by law to take another wife, but it's often easy to find a reason. Having more than one wife is a kindness if you are able to provide for them and treat them equally, in countries with over whelming poverty, no welfare system and high risk of being killed. But I haven't seen too many examples of this. It seems to be used more to legitimise a man dipping his wick in another woman. Lust, not love... ergo anti-Islam. Once a man sees this happen to his sister, and sees the heartbreak that taking another wife can cause, it often changes his mind about his right to take several wives. In good men this happens anyway.
We have a long way to go don't we? I was asked to go to a very dangerous place in Afghanistan and work as an adviser for the Minister for Women's affairs. The job of Minister lasts maximum 2 years, because every Minister has been killed by the time the 2 year mark passes. The way I am I may as well run around in Kandaher covered in tinsel shouting "I'm an infidel shoot me." So I declined. Can't help if I'm dead.
I also always help the truly needy, in India, when they cross my path, in any small way I can.
Every country has its traditions. If you are in Muslim countries, you respect their rules. When you come to other countries respect their way of life. Don't come with "plastic bags" on head and scream like autistic people for a change that no one wants.
Feminism : the way to express intolerance and stupidity at high levels in since 2016
More evidence of of ignorance breeding nastiness at levels surpassing decent human beings' comprehension. To leave such a comment on a blog about mutual understanding and respect you can't actually be serious.
Thanks for your comment expressing the sexist and racist moron's lack of knowledge and insight. . It will give a lot of people a good laugh.
I can only imagine this is satire. It's too much of a caricature to be taken seriously.
Why do you insult me? Are you mentaly ill?