"Your mother lied to you. That's the truth. You're not special, you're not one in a million." Her eyes never left the gun gripped in his shaking hand, as his finger twitched on the trigger.
"But that's OK hunny. It's OK to not be special, hell none of us are special and we all have to grind on through this life."
She nodded at him encouragingly as his face fell in a resigned grimace.
"I never thought I was special." His eyes glistened like two oysters in their shells. "I didn't, honestly."
"Yeah, but your mother told you that, right?"
"Well, yeah." Fingers stopped twitching but the gun remained steady, pushed up against his temple is if to force that pain back into the throbbing hypothalamus. Cold metal, cooling and reassuring, promising certainty.
"This is the problem, hunny. We are told from an early age that we are special, coddled in the expectation of greatness. Then when we realize that it's all a fucking hard grind, a struggle to achieve even mediocrity, we plummet like a stone." He stared at her, eyes like cauldrons of fire. "You've just hit the water at the bottom of the well. You can feel that sinking feeling. There's only one way to go now, it's time to swim! Break for the surface and breathe again, you can do it."
Slowly, his hand slipped downwards as the cauldron boiled over and tears flowed like lava from beneath flickering eyelashes.
*
It wasn't so much that I had been blind to the truth. It was just that I had seen the truth differently. I saw it in this guys eyes, soft but desperate, pleading for reassurance, cold with the intelligence to know a lie for a lie. Everyone lies to their children sometimes, but I could tell he was close to the edge and a lie would simply send him careening out into those winds.
This was the time to tell the truth, I had learned that in my years on the force. In the chaos of a hurricane, you found the eye, that moment of tranquility where you could hear and the only option was the truth. In the eye of the storm anything else would catapult you out into the maelstrom.
*
The time Fred went to the car wash and never came back will haunt me for the rest of my life! What had I done to deserve this? My husband couldn't be a normal man. Couldn't be strong for me and the children. Why, this empty shell? Saying and doing all the things that were expected of him without ever asking why.
I would have preferred him to fight, argue, throw the kitchen crockery at me; anything other than the blank stare and mumbled apologies whenever we talked. What was his problem? Why had he done this? Driving off on a Sunday afternoon, 'to get the car washed' never to return. I called the police and nothing, I called the hospitals, nada. I even tracked down his tattered diary with his old friends telephone numbers. Nothing, except tears and silence.
*
She lifted the gun out of his limp hand as he folded up like a drowned spider. Sobs crashing from his lungs in painful spasms as he curled up in a fetal position on the cold gray pavement. She waited. Finally, after a long time he looked up at her.
"I just need to get away from all this." He waved his arms out as if to encompass the whole of eternity in that gesture. His eyes steady and calm.
The police officer nodded slowly and turned away.
The end
Great story telling
Thanks @tattoodjay. Glad you enjoyed it buddy.
Indeed I did
Wow it's amazing what a feeling you can create in such small parts!
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Thank you, and good luck!
Thanks @futurethinker. I'm glad you enjoyed the short story buddy. I accept the OCD curation and shall go vote the witness now. Thank you very much 😁
Good post @raj808
Like help me please
Thanks @jalmi
My chest hurts thinking about his sobs. The saddest thing is that this is how so many feel, overwhelmed and like a disappointment. Blessings to those that listen and give their kindness and honesty, when it is needed most.
Today I am stepping in for Marianne and delivering the next prompt.
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-93-5-minute-freewrite-sunday-prompt-fourth
Thank you @brisby. It certainly isn't an easy read but I know the story has done its job if it has elicited these emotions from you. I consider that a huge compliment. You are right in what you say, the disenfranchised, emotionally stinted and ignored people with mental health issues in our society can be helped most with kindness and honesty. Thanks for your meaningful comment and for stopping by 🙂
Interesting fiction. @raj808
Thanks @emmanuelacheamp, I'm glad you found it interesting. I hoped when I was writing it, to inspire a different view of how someone who was suicidal might be thinking. How a person with a different approach to helping them, might effect a real impact on their decision whether to end their own life. Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Very intense. The emotion comes off real. A difficult read, but good.
Thanks @jeffstoner, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really like these weekend freewrites which are written on a stop watch timer. They don't always produce the most polished work but I find that they allow me to work without the inner critic constantly second guessing my every move. Often, what comes out is good and something I can expand on for a longer story. That is what I am thinking of doing with this freewrite at some point in the future. Thanks for your feedback and for stopping by 🙂
WOW. I'm stunned and I think I read most of this story with my bottom jaw open.
YOU amaze me!!! again and again!!
Thanks @snook. That is such a lovely compliment, I don't know what to say 😌 I'm glad you enjoyed the story, it feels marvelous to be able to express my writing again after such a long drought of creativity b4 I joined steemit. It's even more wonderful to find that people consider some of my works to be of high quality. I am one happy chappy 😃
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
@appreciator thank you once again for giving one of my stories a boost. I really do appreciate your support 😃
Deciding to look into your blog, I was surprised to find your story. Very easily and in one breath read it. You have very creative abilities, I tell you! I also write, but rarely small stories, but I do not get as well as you do. I wish you creative success and many new entertaining stories, as well as grateful readers!
Thank you @inna-yatsuk. Short fiction is a different kettle of fish to longer writing for sure. It's more an excersise in creating a snapshot of life and the characters living it, rather than the intrincesies of plot and interpersonal relationships. Thanks for your comment + stopping by :-)
Sometimes song says it best... https://g.co/kgs/Avjtex
Ha ha, that video has everything! Dancing ninjas, American football players, Bonnie Tyler running around in her nightie, people swimming, fencer's fencing, people throwing food around and a scary choir of glowing-eyed people. Jay, these are some of my favourite things ;-) seriously though, it's cheesy as hell but I really like that tune. Cheers buddy, that made me laugh