There is life-changing advice:
Like, "Carbohydrates are actually bad for you," and, "Brush the teeth you want to keep," and "You should check out this web-site called Steemit."
And then there's the advice I'm giving you today.
Maybe not so life-changing. But I guarantee you will remember it forever.
And you will think of me every time you eat a banana.
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Are you ready for this?
Because there's no going back!
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You have been eating bananas upside-down!
And the consequences are ... ... AGGRAVATING!
Now just tell me, dear reader: what side of that banana do you think of as the "top?" Go ahead and click on the picture to indicate your choice.
Nothing happened, right? That's because you're wrong! The top isn't the woody, sticky bit on the upper left. It's actually the soft, pliable nubbin on the right, next to the back-space key.
Bananas actually grow like this:
Pixabay.com photo
Mind blown yet? Read on!
What are the consequences?
Because people think that the hard, woody stem is the top of the banana, they try to open the fruit from that end.
But that's not some kind of pull-tab that's going to unzip the damn thing. This never works. It just bruises the meat inside, squishing it into a runny mess.
NO!!!
I've even seen people use a knife to take the stem off a greener, firmer banana.
This is an outrage. The Bible clearly states that: One shall not procureth the cutlery to partaketh of the fruit; the banana not eaten fingers only is an abomination to the LORD.
(I think it's in Leviticus.)
Let's have a look at the other end, shall we?
Yesssss...
See all that soft, tender tissue? That little brown cap, so like a lid?
It's the weak point of the peel. It once held the flower of the fruit.
And now it is ready to open for you.
Go ahead, give it a little pinch and a twist. Use your thumb-nail if you have to. It takes almost no effort at all.
So then, what's the point of that woody stem?
It's a handle for you to hold on to as you finish your banana.
(This fact just blew every part of your mind that has not already blown today.)
Isn't it amazing how well designed these things are? How could you have been eating them wrong all these years?
Monkeys?
The first time someone brought me to the light in this matter, they said, "See, it's the way monkeys eat bananas in the wild."
It turns out this is another lie. Monkeys do not eat bananas like this in the wild because bananas like this don't exist in the wild. As Princess Chelsea explains, if a monkey eats bananas, he probably stole them from your house.
And they're probably not even that good for the monkeys. And maybe not that good for you!
There's a lot of carbohydrate in a banana.
If you learned something today, why not smash that
button like a monkey? I'll give you a banana!
You could always shoot them open:
What in tarnation?!
Nice quick way to make a smoothie, though!
a floor smoothie!
I've watched that for a full 2 minutes. It's a horror I can't look away from.
I dunno...it might have been the 'song of solomon'...
it mentioned fruit a lot.
Been eating bananas the correct way for my whole life. Was taught as a kid and my kids have been taught.
As for if they are good for you, they make a good snack to eat without other foods. The carbs are fine if you are going to be active and these calories can be burned quickly before being stored for future energy (fat). I like to have one before playing sports and drink water vs Gatorade or other "sports" drinks.
Definitely good for an energy boost!
I used to laugh because an overweight lady-friend of mine was always struggling with diets. She'd eat tons of bananas because supposedly they didn't cost her any "Weight Watcher points" or something.
Everyone and their diets. It's all about eating what you like, but eating within reason. You can't starve yourself and you can't stop yourself from eating things you enjoy or one day you will break...or at least most will. Learn to eat in moderation and when to eat different foods. Some people have a sweat tooth and that is fine if you can make sure to eat those treats during the day before activities. No different then the banana, you need to burn off all those sugars asap.
Oh good lord I needed that chuckle. If I could give you two up votes for this one I would... And wtf even was that song? Where on God's green earth did you find it??
😂👍🏻
Glad you listened to mah Chelsea - I can't remember how I originally discovered her but damn if her songs don't stick in the mind forever.
Glad I could make you laugh. This morning I thought, I'll just write a quick post about bananas before I get down to something serious. Four hours later...
That makes me wonder what else I've been doing wrong all my life.
Fortunately it's never too late to change!
This is a real life changer. I still remember the day I switched from the old, brutish, ineffective way of opening bananas. To the new, the prime, the fresh way. Ever since then my banana intake is way better.
A real turning point, right?
Thank you for correcting my banana eating ways! You are a font of valuable information! (Really!!!)
and i, being at the pinnaccle of human ridiculous, have known this fact for years,and yet, still refuse to eat a bananna from the "bottom" dumb i know... Also are we still not agreed about carbohydrates YET as humans- ugh- who knew that writing the manual for the human body would take over 200,000 years...
You... you know the truth and yet you still peel in the ways of the shadow? Heretic!
Yeah - as for carbs, if all this stuff's on the planet and we've been eating it for millennia, it's probably all fine. Just a matter of not eating too much of any one thing.
hahaha please dont ever become a doctor @winstonalden ! "Probably all fine" lol i do agree with the sentiment though, everything in moderation
Hah! Right, nothing posted here is meant to be taken as serious medical advice. Should I include a disclaimer?
"Probably all fine" is my usual approach to medical issues - including the dog-bite I got in August. Some hydrogen peroxide, some high-proof whiskey, a couple of bandages... it all worked out.
LOL very ron swanson of you! Good on ya!
Darn, I've been de-barking my bananas this way for awhile. And it was all due to the fact I thought this is how monkeys do it. Now that I learn differently on this, I have to re-think a whole lot of my daily world. Thanks for that. And THANKS FOR THAT!! Just kidding of course. I'm glad to know it came from elsewhere.
Very funny, and well written, I greatly enjoyed it.
(When do I get my banana?)
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after reading your post's title, i wish i could visit kitchen ... :p
It's funny that you write in the beginning: "Carbohydrates are actually bad for you" but the whole post is about a fruit with 93% of it's calories coming from carbs.
Ironic, right?
No, not at all. What do you think is ironic about my comment?!
Sorry, I was referring to the irony in my own post - the same thing you had pointed out.
I was agreeing with you.
Ooooh no, I missed it completely. Haha. Sorry!