By Mrs. Canadian Renegade
@sagescrub asked What Freedom Means to You and that challenged me to revisit what we want for our future and put it into words.
But before I share with you what freedom means to our family, I want to to give you some background. Recognizing where my freedoms were hindered ultimately helped me identify what freedom means to my family.
I can recall a point in time when my life once ran on auto-pilot. Picture this: the alarm clock sounds, I roll out of bed, stagger to the shower, put myself together, grab a bite of breakfast and head out the door. I wade through the same daily traffic jam, show up to the same building, perform the same tasks, and grind my teeth until the time to punch out arrives.
After fighting my way through yet another traffic jam on the way home, I cook up a meal (or pour a mean bowl of cereal), then unwind in front of the television, before putting myself to bed, just to do it all over again the next day. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?
At first, this lifestyle teased me with the prospect of freedom. When that first pay cheque landed at my fingertips my mind began to imagine all the freedoms I might buy; a car, where I'd be free to drive where I wanted, a house, where I'd be free to do as I pleased, a credit card where I'd be free to spend as I desired, and the list goes on. I could acquire so many freedoms with money that I might have completely missed the chains that shackled me in the process.
Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash*Eventually, each morning I would stare at myself in the mirror and wonder why freedom felt so unbearable. Like rust on a car, these freedoms began to eat away at my life and rob me of the joy I deeply sought. I was tethered to debt and a job I despised, and I was still convinced that freedom was just around the corner. If I just worked harder, thought longer, or made another sacrifice I would finally reach that illustrious state of happiness. I became so focused on pleasing others that I neglected my own joy and unknowingly discarded my freedom in the process.
Matthew began to remind me that I needed to serve no one but myself. After all, if each day revolved around serving everyone else, I was more akin to being a slave than anything else. Our conversations had become laced with my unhappiness and, as a result, tension began to build in our relationship. One day Matthew posed a giant what if. What if I just quit? Each day I seemed to be suffering more than the last, and for what?
I had become so focused on staying employed so I could buy my way to freedom, but what if that path to freedom was just an illusion? Did I really want to waste my life running the rat race just to discover the freedom I was searching for at the finish line didn't exist, only to be met with the sweet release of death instead? The next day, I handed in my resignation.
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on UnsplashNow what? Simply not working was not an option. But now I was free to find work I was passionate about, and clients I enjoyed. If I didn't enjoy the work I found, I was free to move on to the next project or next client. I was free to wake up when I chose, I was free to work from home and I was free to wear my pajamas while doing it. These small victories began to paint a picture of what freedom meant in my life.
As time went on that picture grew clearer. Matthew and I genuinely enjoy being in each others company. At one point, we would wake up together, work side-by-side in our home office, eat lunch and dinner together, unwind together, and go to bed together. Somehow, we never got sick of one another.
Eventually, Matthew would return to a job outside the home to help fast track our dream of owning our own piece of paradise. But doing so kept him shackled to the daily grind. Each day he would leave for work, I would find myself counting the hours until his return.
Our piece of paradise where we plan to build a forever home and raise a family.I began to wonder, If working for someone else was an illusion of freedom, what other illusions did we fall prey to? And so our picture of freedom grew clearer. Freedom to our family meant not only being together, but providing for ourselves, and removing ourselves from being under the thumb of anyone else.
We want to be free to choose what we eat and how we eat it. We want to be free from the constraints of an employer. We want to be free to focus on what we are passionate about in life, unlocking our shackle of bills. We want our children to be free to to form their own thoughts unbound by a rigid education system.
This awareness spurred us to set goals and work towards our independence, our freedom and to recognize that this is a life long journey we are excited to travel.
This is one of the best posts i have read for a long time. So much truth and life insights that penetrate the veil of bullshit we have all been brainwashed into believe. Some, as yourself, eventually manage to wake up from the false spell and take control of their own destiny. Many though are no doubt stuck in the daily grind looking for that false promise of financial freedom.
I think this post is a valuable piece of wisdom all could benefit from - step one on the path to freedom is to first define what freedom means to you. I just love that. It seems so obvious and yet most of dont ever do exactly that. Until we know what freedom to us really means then we are simply chasing a ghost. I am so happy for you that you broke free from the chains of the false dream and that is was your dear husband who was part of that experience.
It was a work colleague who broke that spell for me. One day, we were sat in the company lunch canteen and as part of a wider conversation he casually said: "If you dont have a dream you will follow someone else"
It might not sound so special but that sentence penetrated my heart like a sledge hammer. From that moment on I began planning to change my circumstances that were very similar to your own previous situation.
Excellent post
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed the read. I really believe in defining our problems before we look for solutions. I think that's part of why so many people find themselves stuck wanting, because the most common 'solutions' revolve around employment. But when continuous job changes fail to improve quality of life we are forced to dig deeper, which can be uncomfortable territory for some people; I know it can be for me. But our entire system is set up for the employer/employee relationship, don't you think? From a young age we are taught to move in herds and follow the direction of a single authority (teacher) and to regeritate others thoughts and perspectives. We are taught to serve others by continuously handing in assignments instead of how to serve ourselves. It's no wonder so many people stay where they are, they need to shift their entire paradigm to discover real solutions. Which, I think, is why that statement opened your eyes. That same statement was presented to me as well and I too found enlightenment from it.
I am so grateful to have Matthew in my life. His patience and encouragement are unwaivering! He really forces me to consistently question and analyze the world around me and I am in a constant state of growth because of it.
I am also really enjoying the steemit community because so many members are 'awake' and willing to rally together as a community for a better future. Steemians force me to continue asking hard questions and explore alternative solutions. I find the interactions here more meaningful and thought provoking than other platforms I use. Thanks for your contribution! -Aimee
I think your man is a good guy too. Anyone who loves cats is usually a good guy lol - In saying that, when I read your words and insights can also see that you must be treasure for him too. So happy you found each other. What is life if we can not share it with someone?
Best wishes to you Aimee - have you considered getting your own account?
Ha ha! Yes, he does have quite the love for cats doesn't he? Thank you so much for your kind words.
I have thought about getting my own account but my hands are pretty full with our twins right now. I don't think I could maintain my own account right now which is why I am helping Matthew build his account instead. One day though, I would like to create one. As usual, Matthew encouraged me to have one for a while, I resisted (out of stubbornness?), but after taking his account for a stroll have come to enjoy the community. Shame on me, I should have more faith in his judgement by now! Ha!
-Aimee
Well it seems like you are a good team to me, best of lick whatever you decided and I will continue to look out for new posts on this account. Laters.... : )
My husband and I are on a similar path. The rat race is not the life for us anymore. We are stressed and not loving life! Although my husband talks about quitting every single day we have a plan in place and have bought a property on where we plan to build a Tiny house within the next year. The land is calling us. ❤️ Congrats on doing what you love.
You sound like a mirror couple of us! Quitting was hard and scary. I was lucky to have some savings for cushion and a partner who supported me. We are working on Matthew's escape now but feel confident in our plans.
We are all too familiar with the call of the land! What type of tiny house are you planning to build? Our tiny house took longer to build than we expected, about a year and a half in total.
-Aimee
Our perfect home would be 400sqft ft on foundation with a huge separate garage. We are almost ready to battle the municipality on the minimum sq ft by-law. Not sure what we’ll do if they won’t allow the variance. We plan on doing it debt free and doing most of the work ourselves. We’re building a small 9x12 bunkie to stay in while we work on things! 😁
We can definitely relate! We are staying in our tiny house (200sqft. Plus 2 lofts) while we build our next house, though that one is looking to be closer to 1000 sqft. Our county also has a minimum size requirement of 800 sqft. Are you chronicalling your journey here on Steemit? I would be interested in following along.
-A
Yes @canadianrenegade I plan on starting a series of posts in the spring when we get back at it! Here is a post about what we’re into https://steemit.com/homestead/@otterbeme/our-property-project-to-freedom-45-we-are-not-crazy
Thank you! I am looking forward to following along.
-Aimee
Wow so the "minimum square footage" thing is real? The town's building inspector (where I ended up getting property) thought I was crazy when I asked him if we had a minimum size requirement.
He answered: you can live in a box for all I care.
It's because of a hunter's cabin thing in the code, and this is in NY state...where usually regulation rules the land.
I didn't realize there was a minimum either until Matt started investigating. I think the reasoning is two-fold: one, neighbours in the suburbs want to keep a certain aesthetic and maintain their property value by having new houses be equal or larger. Which is unfortunate because rural properties fall under those same guidelines. And two, bigger houses means higher property taxes. Leave it to the government to weasle as much money out of your pocket as possible. LOL at living in a box! -Aimee
Yea, I think you're absolutly right about the property tax and the neighbors. It's a shame...
Property value is for sure a double edge sword. On one side you can leverage the value for whatever and on the other more regulations are demanded "by some neighbors" in order to keep that value on the up and up...to get more leverage, to have more buying power to chase the illusion
At leaset your is set at 800 which isn't too too aweful.
They leave you alone with the tiny house?
About that quitting thing, I meant to ask you. Dis you quit the next day after Matthew put rhat sees in your head or what?
Not exactly @senorcoconut. He had encouraged me to quit for a while but I just couldn't imagine how I would ever pay the bills without a job. My parents well-meaning advice was to line up another job before quitting the first but I had tried that route for years without success (many factors).
Eventually, I just stopped talking about work because it was so toxic. I was really upset one day and finally burst into tears as I relayed my recent struggles. I felt so defeated. That was the conversation that lead to my resignation the following Monday which was both terrifying and exhilarating.
-Aimee
Yea, it's a hard thing to do. Nothing of that magnitude is simple as black and white, everyone is different, in different situations and goes through different struggles.
I am happy for you guys it sounds like you're well on your way!
Been looking at the videos of the tiny house build when I have time. It's inspiring.
Thanks for sharing
Thank you! I am glad to hear we are inspiring somebody! You sound like you're on your way too. The Steemit community has so many like-minded people on board that inspiration and support feels easier to find. :)
-Aimee
Yea very true it does seem that way. I have found many like minded people and much more eager to help eachother than facebook for example!
And by the way, I'm sure I'm not the only "somebody" you've inspired.
Right in the feels Mrs.Renegade. This post really touched me. I wonder why it is that we look around and see so many people chase paper notes and plastic, blinded by artificial "freedom". Am I the crazy one? I'm not - among Free-thinkers like you, I feel home.
Those feels! They get my every time too. I want to say, I am glad you connected with the article but glad seems like the wrong word. Perhaps, I am glad you connected with the second half; the awakening. The majority of people can make you question your crazy for not following the herd for sure. I try to remind myself that I didn't have an overnight epiphany, and that the transition to true free-thinking was gradual and will be a life-long journey. Thank goodness for growing communities like Steemit where we can continue to challenge conventional thinking and hopefully spur a bigger shift for those who are still chasing artificial dreams.
-Aimee
Awesome post!this inspires me !
Hey @brogandowney! I am happy to hear that you found inspiration in this article. I am happier to see you here on Steemit and can't wait to see where you take your blog. ;)
-Aimee
Thank you !cant wait for all the great content you guys keep putting out
Ah the sweet smell of freedom!!! I like the piece if paradise you got yourselves.
The illusion of freedom is a big one. I never really thought of it that way but you're right. I see a lot of people around my work (of which I am a slave, when I want money...but I can come and go as I please and that's another story, cause I still feel enslaved a bit) who just have this sort of lust towards big expensive things which end up locking them up into the "work harder for more money" mode.
An example is the "car freedom" you mentioned. I don't know how many people I work with own leases well over $500... In NY too where insurance is insane.
And all of them complain constantly about the cost of living.
Anyway, nice explaination of what freedom means to you. I agree with all of it.
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed the read and have the same sentiments. Money and freedom are fickle concepts, aren't they? Its like the chicken and the egg; how do we achieve one without the other, right? My freelancing is tricky too. While I can move between clients, work isn't always a guarantee so sometimes I revert back to regular clients for security, even if working for them feels oppressive. Finding balance is key.
We are also familiar with people who always want bigger and better and convince themselves that moving up in life requires "healthy debt". What an oxymoron. We often remind ourselves that if you were to subtract their debt from their savings they would be in the same position we are in or, most likely, worse off.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you find find balance and don't let the job slavery get its claws in too deeply. :)
-Aimee
Thanks Aimee. Yes I think I found myself a nice balance for the whole family...something we will test late spring when we actually move on our piece of paradise and plan to build something to keep warm for next winter!
I am greatful for the path I carved till now, I only worked a 9 to 5 regular office type job for about 5 weeks in my life. And I was able to realise the claws of job slavery were digging in too deep after 8 years of chasing the money! Lost my head abwhile there.... But I'm back on track.
Good luck to you guys too and hopefully you can find Matthew's escape soon!
The tiny house is built right? Go live the dream!
Wow, only 5 weeks of 9 to 5? That's impressive. I think we all fall prey to the allure of money from time to time. Having it makes problem solving seem much easier.
I am glad you have since found balance and are working through challenges. I hope we can arrange Matthew's escape soon too. Ha ha! I almost feel like I am talking about prison break!
Yes! The tiny house is built! With the arrival of our twins we are feeling the need for a little more leg room now. But we have our piece of paradise and are working towards building, tiny house 2.0: slightly less tiny. :D
"Having it (money) makes problem solving seem much easier." Yea, I think that exactly where the illusion lyes....it sure helps but it's super tricky to use money more as a tool than a toy!
I was thinking aboit using a 53' tractor trailer to turn into a slightly bigger tiny house. We mostly want to avoid property tax, not move it around north america!
I'm excited to see the plans for your tiny 2.0!
That is a great observation; being wise enough to understand how to use money as a tool before using it as a toy.
I met someone who made a large(r) tiny house similar to what you have in mind. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing it yet but it sounds lovely. I hope you post your progress.
If want to see a sneak peek of tiny 2.0 we talk about it here. We will be posting updates along the way too.
-Aimee
The best way to know freedom is to lose it, i dont know where i lost my freedom, maybe in 2014 when Maduro started to induce fear and violence in our lives
I think freedom is mostly related to fear, fear to speak out, fear to fight, fear of death, fear of living a normal life, when you get rid of that fear, you can die in the process as a free man, or succed and become truly free
The fight for freedom is no more than the process of leaving behind fear, even if it take our lives
I lived in Venezuela for a short while when I was 11 years old in 1986 but I couldn't even begin to say how it was politically back then... I was inocent and traveling with my parents on a sailboat. Aside from running away from a crazy man waving a shot gun and yelling at me, all I have are good memories.
I can only imagine what losing your freedom means but I can never truly know what you are going through. Sorry
Yes, losing ones freedom would be quite a revelation. I am sorry to hear about the oppression you are facing. I agree that fear can be found at the route of many problems. When I feel stuck in life I can often tie my feelings to fear. Fear of disappointment, fear of embarrassment, dear of judgement, dear of failure, and the list goes on. Standing up for what we believe in and facing those fears is the route to freedom and can, in some cases, can come with a heavy price.
-Aimee
Hey Mrs. @CanadianRenegade! Thank you for participating in the #freedomchallenge!
I am so glad that you found your way out of unhappiness and discovered a path to your freedom! You are in good company! @idyllwild and I had similar revelations about getting out of the rat race, not having a boss or debt and providing for ourselves. Nice going -- taking back power for yourself and your own freedom one step at a time :)
Thank you @sagescrub. Reviewing our goals from time to time is refreshing and helps keep us on track. Looking back is also a good reminder of how far we have come.
I am glad to hear we share the same revelation. Steemit has no shortage of good company, that's for sure! 🍻 Here's to continuing the journey!
-Aimee
Really enjoyed reading your post and what freedom means to you. We can get caught up in this cycle of working always for others and not for ourselves, it really is how we are programmed in school. But you are on the way to the life that is best for you and your family, congrats on that. And it is so important to gave our children the freedom and respect to choose how they learn, they are so capable. Thank you @canadianrenegade, happy travels on your road to freedom x
Thank you! I am really glad you enjoyed the article. I was juat saying to @arthuradamson how I suspect the education system is directly responsible for the work force mentality, like we are being groomed to serve others instead of serving ourselves.
Yes, I too believe that children are much more capable than most give them credit for. I have caught both my father-in-law and my own mother trying to 'teach'my babies to crawl, despite this skill being encoded into their being. Ha ha!
Wishing you happy travels in your journey as well.
-Aimee
Freedoms you can get are not needed to find it. He is always with you and always be happy and keep others happy too.
Yes, I am glad to have Matthew in my life because he makes lifes challenges more bearable. The fact that we are on the same page about the freedom we want is even better because it's a goal we can work towards together. -Aimee
That was a great read! Freedom from the rat race illusion of freedom. I wish you well and great speed to your destiny.
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed reading the article and I appreciate your well wishes. 😊
-Aimee