This week’s Freedom Friday topic is a juicy one, a many faceted thought-gem that teases me with glimmers and shadows.
@eaglespirit spearheaded this idea, and the entries each week are phenomenal. Be sure to check #freedomfriday for more goodness—there’s a lot of inspiration there.
I’ve chosen to lead with this photo because it shows a lot of leg and a lot of joy.
It’s a sensual photo, one I’ve been afraid to post before now—afraid it would seem inappropriate to share this moment where the ocean got me wet and made me laugh.
I find it hard to override the instinct to hide myself… This makes me think I should refer back to last week’s Freedom Friday posts on Personal Power, and remind myself I recently wrote this:
You belong to yourself.
Not to him.
Not to them.
Stop listening for whispers.
Stop caring what thoughts might
Fly through someone else’s mind.
Shed the limitations that
Pull you back and
Freeze you with fear.
Sing the song that wells up
From the starlight
Of your soul.
Read the full poem here: Claim Your Power
Sexual Freedom = Freedom of Expression
My first thought when I think of sexual liberation is it’s another element of freedom of expression.
Sexuality is part of human nature. It is a primal, natural act, a beautiful thing that’s been outrageously oppressed and shamed. We’re encouraged to fit into a mold, shaped by a culture of fear and repression, when openness and communication are what we need.
This made me think back to a poetic piece of erotica by @enginewitty, and a critique left in the comments that seemed to imply that making love and fucking were two separate things. I left a loooong reply, but here’s the crux of it:
I disagree with the critique saying that making love and fucking can't be brought together in the same poem. I don't think one is beautiful and the other vulgar—that is cultural programming. Why shouldn't they both be beautiful? How are they separate, unless the intention behind the act is severed thus?
I think we need to refer to @zen-art's post about Beltane, celebrating sex, passion, and LIFE to remember that sexuality is sacred. (@trucklife-family also had an excellent Beltane post on this subject.) I'm not against religion as a whole, but there's been a lot of damage done by the patriarchy and the church, and I'll call it out here! They've done a good job of brainwashing us.
I'm still trying to reconstruct my thoughts and feelings on this subject, to let go of false ideas that keep me from experiencing my wild, free self as fully as I'd like—lifetimes of baggage dragging me down and censoring my ability to experience ecstasy. Damn patriarchy, making women's bodies nothing but an object to be tamed, shamed and restrained!
The good news is, the more we talk about this subject in a respectful way, the less taboo it is.
^^ That last part is crucial.
The more we talk about sexuality in respectful ways, the less taboo it becomes, and the easier it is for people to express it in their own ways.
Sexuality, sensuality, and everything in-between.
What’s in-between sexuality and sensuality? Often, a whole lot of confusion.
I think sexuality and sensuality are best when mashed together, but there tend to be feelings involved with the intertwining of two people on many levels.
Sometimes more than two people.
I find it interesting, and, quite bluntly, unbelievable that we are taught the ideal is to have one partner for our entire lives. Do we learn everything we need to know from a single book? Do we eat only one type of food? Do we live in one place from birth to death?
I’m not saying monogamy is a bad thing. It’s a good thing in many ways. I’m just looking at the reality of human tendencies and the diversity of nature, and thinking mainstream ideas could use some broadening.
I remember reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh, and being relieved by a passage that basically tore down the ideas of shame and judgment around sex, instead encouraging us to “Play with sex. Play with it! It’s wonderful fun.”
And it can be!
Of course, such a powerful thing carries responsibility. It would be nice if sex education weren’t the joke it is in most places. We could definitely evolve on that one.
But let’s get back to those feelings we were talking about…
For me, sexuality has carried a juxtaposition of excitement and trepidation, bold seduction and a sense of shame. I think the shame part is something old, something I picked up from Catholic roots and cultural conditioning. Yes, I’ve gotten over it… mostly.
Still something holds me back, makes me want to hide myself, hide my sexuality, conceal the desires that seep into my mind and electrify my body. So where is the liberation I seek? Is it a door in my mind, a binding that must be released so the last claws of shame retract and fall away?
I don’t know.
But it’s a dangerous, seductive thought: To let loose the wild thing that lives in this body, to stop holding back for fear of wrongdoing based on some tattered decree that doesn’t apply to me.
I think sexual liberation comes in layers of self-realization and experience, elation and heartbreak, wanting and satisfaction.
Bound Desire
Exposed, yet shrouded by restraint.
What if I slipped out of fear’s grip?
What if I let you see the way
Your touch makes my entire being shiver?
That wants to be claimed,
That wants to give over
To this twisted dance.
But I cannot make the jump.
My mind pulls me back.
The animal retreats,
Hiding once again.
Damn. I meant to write that poem about release, yet it ended up being about restraint. That annoys me. I might have to assign myself more #FreedomFriday homework, and work on letting that animal loose. It's ironic that I can write novels with a healthy amount of sex in them, but I still don't have my own mind straight about it. Admittedly, writing is a form of therapy. ;)
I’m looking forward to reading what others have to say about this subject. Like I said above, the more we have open conversations, the less hold oppressive thoughts can have, and freedom floods in.
Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Take care of yourself, you are a gift!
Peace. @katrina-ariel
Photos mine unless otherwise credited.
Author bio: Katrina Ariel is an old-soul rebel, musician, tree-hugging yogini, and mama bear to twins. Author of Yoga for Dragon Riders (non-fiction) and Wild Horse Heart (romance), she's another free-spirit swimming in the ocean of Steem.
dragon art: Liiga Smilshkalne
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I agree to that extent that because a lot of people keep thinking that 2 people is boring, but there can be in many different occasion and levels deepens two hearts and soul together.
I personally am not a more people person, but indeed it actually does have a lot to do with the heart. Because it either creates a strong bond and belonging, or emptiness that can never be fulfilled.
Interesting sight.
upvoted
This is a great point: the connection between two people on a deeper level is what makes sex amazing. If the connection isn't there on a mental/emotional/even spiritual level, then the physical act is likely to be shallow as well. Thanks for such a thoughtful comment!
First off, that lead photo shows me a happy person in a happy place. That gives me happiness.
Deep sigh. If I can't be blunt here, where and when can I be?
I've been sexually active for over 50 years. I have women friends, and I have ex lovers. Those two lists are nearly exclusive. How can that be?
Shame, regret, exhibition of control over another human. All mine, and all part and parcel of the reasons for the almost entirely separated lists.
It doesn't have to be that way, and the knowing that it doesn't have to be does nothing to make it not so with me. Frustrating at the very least.
I said it more than 15 years ago and mean it today. "I'd trade the rest of whatever sexual encounters I have remaining for meaningful conversation." Why does it have to be that way?
Thank you. For a deeply meaningful post. I could have probably gone all day/week/month/year/life without thinking this through. I think you may have given me the reason to do so.
Thank you for such a kind, thoughtful, timely comment. I agree, meaningful conversation is more fulfilling and "safer" in some ways, because it doesn't tend to be as tangled in shame and regret.
I don't know, but I think that's a common theme for people, and a really good point to remember. Hopefully meaningful conversation AND great sex are combined for us all. ;)
Plenty positive as I would only expect from such a free spirited person like yourself my friend, bold poems and excellent expressions. Keep being you and spreading the light you so flawlessly do. Be well
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Thank you, my friend. Be well. 💞
Ohhh YES. Awesome post. That first foto? Lots of leg, yes, but I see a genuinely happy person playing with water and life, and that's the sensual part, not the legs per se. (Although you rock your legs :D)
There's a lot of labels and taboos put on sex and it's a shame, we should use and enjoy our bodies as much as we can, and not narrow our experiences to societies opinions of us. The weight of it is put on both genders resulting in a lot of suppressed behaviour which is never good for anyone. Monogamy: yes, sure, if you're both ready for it, but also within a monogamous relationship it is possible to get more out of the sexual experience but often one or both partners hold back on some deep-rooted ideas of what is good/expected/appropriate/notforinthisrelationship...
Freedom is something to strive for, hope you've inspired people to think about this a bit more - thanks for the beautiful input.
I absolutely love what you've said here. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. This is SO TRUE and something I might need to re-read to reinforce in my own head.
This, especially, but all of it applies. It seems easier/safer to hold back than to let loose, but what about living fully, freely? I so appreciate you. ((hugs))
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Wonderful post with a lot of good things to say. I do not think your leading photo was inappropriate at all; it is lovely and full of unbridled joy! 💖
Thank you, my dear KittyGirl. 💞 So sweet of you to say.
I too, am not saying that monogamy is bad but I do not think it is natural. I believe we are taught to think that monogamy is normal. This post was an amazing read, everything in it was so lovely, honest and pure. You look amazing and so happy in the photo and your poems are amazing as always. Much love 💚
Thank you so much, my friend. You being you helps me have the courage to be me. ;)
oh I love this, love your truth sharing and your poetry and those very nice photo's, you are a Sexual woman and damn that is something to be proud of, and something to celebrate xx be like that butterfly and shine, you do already but time to let the lioness out and celebrate the whole of you xxxx
Time to let the lioness out! Love that. Thank you so much!
wow I absolutely LOVE these two photos of you and am so happy that you shared them here. i hear so also on the first instinct to Hide our sexuality or freedom of expression around it!! it's so deeply engrained... shamed, judged, critiqued, whatever/you name it.. there is a lot that has taught us that we can't be free. but i love to read your words as they so closely echo my own heartfelt sentiments around this subject and about the beauty, joy and freedom, not to mention so much pleasure (which is also taboo in a way?!)... so thank you thank you for sharing! i so honor this and YOU! XO
You make my heart glow. Thank you for this comment. Yes, why is pleasure taboo? Why is it we're discouraged to be joyful and sensual and playful in wild ways? What's up with that? Enough already, eh? ;)
IMO, the problem is what you've touched on. Not sure if it's the old 'man's dominion' over women from countless centuries if religious bullshit or what. But, it (the act of sex) has been attached to 'being in love' and so, has become that taboo thing. Maybe everyone is just walking around sleeping and they say they love everyone but sex - oh that's more than just love. But to a hooker, it's just a job. It's a mental block taught since youth. Not your fault. It's even in the school systems.
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It is in the school systems. It's everywhere, and yet there is a soul-deep hunger so many people repress, a hunger that isn't going away. It wants to be fed. It wants to be set free to play and be wild... free of shame, free of fear... free of others dictating right and wrong...
Think I just started writing my next Freedom Friday post. ;) Thanks for being my muse.
So what you saying, I'm amusing? Bwahahahaha 🤣😎
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I really enjoyed this post.
Delves deep into so much about sexuality and love.
Can a couple fuck without making love?
Can a couple make love without physically be near?
so much to think about...
Yes, yes, and yes. And thank you. :)
Beautiful poetry, and I love your photo too! And thought-provoking words. This line seems especially perceptive:
Sometimes people who think they've found sexual liberation are actually enchained to their sexuality. It's such a complex area, bound up with emotion (unless you're a psychopath!).
Complex and bound with emotion — I think you nailed it there. ;) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, and for the sweet words.
For bringing Making love and fucking together as one,
That's simple enough. That was fucking great sex Love.
On freedom of sexual expression. I have no issues with that, However, I do not feel it is needed to be expressed each time a person is out in public. Like all freedoms, they carry a certain responsibility and do not belong in all areas of society.
To express this in maybe an over the top way.
I know people who do drag, cross dressers, people of different orientation to myself. If I host a party and you are invited you are welcome to come and dress your expression the way you will.
However again, If I host a children's party, No I will not accept you turning up in provocative wear of any sort and expressing your sexuality. This type of party is not about them or their feelings.
While I can accept and respect the views and opinion of anyone. That can be lost if mine are not given the same.
Freedom of expression is a right. The right to force an expression on others in all area of life is dismissing the rights of others.
Freedom of expression does not give the right of expression over another's. Thus why we live with certain codes of conduct.
Yes, respect is key and knowing what is appropriate in different situations as well. Good points.
Jump!
Jump without fear.
Jump without thought.
Jump without restraint.
Jump and enjoy the power and freedom it brings just knowing no one can hold you down.
..... or even better, Jump a friend! ;)
K
HA! cracking up
What a spectacularly awesome comment. Thank you!
Glad to bring a smile.
Sometimes we just need to lighten up!
True dat! :)
I never used to be for monogamy until I met my honey and quite like polyamoury ALOT. But I'm so enmeshed with my baby now I couldn't be with someone else without him there.. more emotional now than anything. But totally think we should explore and play and fuck shame. X A beautiful contemplation. There's always a push and pull between restraint and release, it's yin yang. So don't over think it. Just be who you beautifully are. Gorgeous photos x
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Okay, I totally love this. All of it. Yes, life is yin-yang, isn't it? Everywhere we look. Thank you for the fabulous comment! 💞
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It is interesting to read about this subject, it is indeed a pitty that patriarch-minded-occidental society has created that much of repressive ideas about woman sexuality. Those concepts are reproduced over and over again both in mainstream medias and in some cultural traditions.
I want to apport one subject to the healthy discussion, imho you don't need to do a especific thing. It's not like if you follow this particular pattern you are yielding to the repressive programming you once had. If you have to follow a trend to be free, then I think that you may be changing one cage for another.
No one has the right to say what anyone should be doing with his/her live, you are already a sensible human being capable of learning from experiences and by your own reasoning. Thus, anoyone should do as he/she pleases, go at his/her own rythm, and discover what he/she likes and what he/she doesn't. (Yet here I am using imperatives :) and pointing right courses of action. The boundary where the well-intended teaching role ends and where the bossy role starts is a bit blurry).
Thanks for sharing. Best regards.
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Thank you so much for the feature and for the thoughtful reply! Yes, it's a tricky thing to discuss. Each person chooses their own path, but we all have our opinions. I'm glad to see more and more people with open minded views. :)
There's a whole lot I wanna write about here.... yours is the first of this week's FF posts I've read. I'll think I'll keep my thoughts for my post, which I'm hoping to get done once I've finished going through all the PYPT posts from earlier today... 😅
Mostly along the lines that not all feelings of restraint come from conditioning, some of these sensations of restraint in context of sexuality may also be about safety and protection.
I've worked a lot in this field, and sometimes the whole 'be sexually free' thing doesn't come from a space of good intentions.... but enough of that, I'll keep it for my post.
You have a good point there, often restraint is about wanting to feel safe, and protection is an important thing when we're talking about sex. ;) Off to read your post... Thanks very much for the comment.
:)
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Glad you liked it. :)
very fun photos and now i just want to call you animal (spanish accent)! :)
thank you for your continued support of FF, as a woman you express something we all have hidden and many times bottled up deep inside. we have to let it out! :p
Yes. Enough with the hiding, already! Just gotta feel safe enough to let go... Thanks for doing these topics. They've helped me grow.
thank you for your honesty and openness to change. these are not easy things to do. now go have fun at SF3!!
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