Dear Such and Such, So and So, and Whomever,
I'm writing in response to your previous letter and its baseless accusations.
First of all, I have been a loyal patron of your zoo for the past 2 years. Every weekend, I take my lunch and sit in your lovely gardens to watch the animals. I have developed quite the rapport with both the staff and the animals and am very hurt that our interactions have come to this.
No, I did not abduct Monterey, Felix, Gary and Roy (the ducks you failed to properly name in your missive). I simply did not notice that they were sitting, quite quietly I might add, in the back of my car. I ask you, how often do you check your backseat while driving?
Nor did I scheme some sort of convoluted plan to lure them into my car using pellets. You have had the pellets available for visitors ever since I began visiting your establishment. Occasionally, one may forget that she has two pocketfuls of pellets remaining and I am embarrassed to say that there was a hole in both pockets (I'm not the best with sewing).
Yes, I'm sure that the video did show me opening all of my car doors. I like the smell of fresh air when I drive but absolutely hate the loud sound. I've made it a habit to open all of my doors when parked. Despite the paper's claims in the rise of crime, I haven't had any sort of issue. Are you insinuating that the other visitors to your zoo are thieves?
In closing, this is an innocent string of events, culminating in my having four new houseguests. I feel that since they went to the effort of following me home, I should be a gracious host and put them up for at least a few days, maybe a month.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know.
Sincerely,
The Accused
My Recent Freewrites
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ROFLMAO AGAIN!!! Love...love...love this! It's PURRFECT! Tip!
I love making you laugh!! 😊 Thank you for the comment (and for the generous tip as well!)
And I love that you love making me laugh! LOL! Thank YOU! : )
Haha, this is brilliant! What a great way to use the prompt. :-)
Thank you! Most times I write these and I'm cracking myself up while typing. It's funny (and a bit sad...) 😂
Hahaha, how awesome and creative (and messy having those 'guests' in your car!
Meh, about as messy as some of my relatives! 😆 I don't want to know what it would cost to get that crap out of the seats!
Loved it! You made my face crack again! :)
I wonder if I can advertise that! @Brisby: Face Cracker 😂 (It kinda makes me sound like a brawler...) Thanks for reading my story! I'm still laughing after reading yours!
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Hey you! It's me! You know what you did.....
Today I'm stepping in for Marianne.
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-78-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-pen
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Oh my goodness! This is pure brilliance!
Edit: I'm so awe struck I omitted words in my reply...
Thank you! I'm so happy that you liked it! I was making myself laugh while I was writing it so I had twice the number of spelling errors as usual! LOL!!
This is sooo good!! Thank you so much for visiting everyone!! I do miss reading all the freewrites - but there is the thing called time. Still trying to go back and read as many as I can. so many are sooooo good - like yours!
Thank you!! I understand, time is a very precious commodity. I just feel bad for not offering to help before. You're awesome!
You are awesome!! And I love that you left yourself the next prompt LOL
Thank you again!!!
It was me that put them in your car :-)
Brilliant story
Then I have an upholstery cleaning bill for you! 😂
Thank you for reading it.
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