Normally I would never show a first draft of anything to anyone either. I don't like doing it one bit, but this being the #freewrite challenge and for five minutes I rush to get it out.
I confess my strong suit when comes to editing is structure, I'm not that good at grammar. I didn't pay attention in school. LOL! My mind was elsewhere in those days. But I have figured out after trail and error that writing is like art, and all we can do is learn techniques. It's up to the writer or artist to figure out the method to express themselves. In the end that is what writing and art is all about, expressing ourselves through the method that best suits the writer or artist.
I'll send you copy after the story is finished. If I had enough Steem I would pay someone to give it quick grammar check after every post. Until then I just don't have time to spend another hour editing, because I would end up breaking the story apart and drive myself nuts. And I'm already committed and I can't stop now.
I look forward for future critiques. I enjoy critiques, as long it isn't to harsh. I'm here to learn from experienced writers like you as much as I am here to write. Thanks for the comment.
I look forward to the completed and edited story.
Might I recommend you invest in a The Little Brown Grammar Book as an excellent English grammar reference.
I'll check it out. Thanks