I think people have forgotten how to make friends. I know I have.
I have spent most of the last 7 years alone. Why?
Because my mental programs were broken. Neuralink anyone?
Friendship. like everything else needs to be reinvented.
This is what people think a friendship should look like:
This is the super cheesy, overly sentimental way that friendship is portrayed in social media and mainstream consciousness. It's not correct really. You can see in this picture that each person completes the other with equal amounts of energy.
But is this reality?
Obviously, only in very few friendships. No two people are alike. People have different weaknesses, personalities, abilities and strengths. Most friendships are unbalanced, actually. Usually, one person is always searching in the distance for something more satisfying, while the other is wracking his/her brain to figure out how to make the partner stay. I've been on both sides of this deal. It's not very pretty.
Look at the image below. This is how most friendships function.
This kind of friendship is based on dependence. I have been in many of these kinds of relationships. It looks something like this:
In this kind of friendship, one person is generally the giver and the other a taker. Not all are like this, but most friendships I would wager are unbalanced, in terms of energy given and energy taken. And sometimes these roles are reversed, too. Generally, one person is in control. If there is a true balance, then I think you have a rare gem (or you are so much in denial that you think you have balance, but in reality don't.)
I had a friendship a few years ago where I would give way more energy (and money) to my friend than she gave me in return. I was the one pouring her life drinks. As you can imagine, my daily resentment grew until I couldn't take it anymore. The friendship ended in bitterness.
Let's look at a different kind of relationship:
This one is a kind of dreamy relationship.
This is where I really have a weakness. In this type, one person is dreaming and loving the qualities of someone or some creature that is other worldly. This kind is the muse/artist relationship. This one sweeps you away, and captures your imagination in ways that are hard to describe. These are the ones I like because I prefer to be in love with an ideal representation of a human which is ungraspable. I like to be the one controlling the dream, the fantasy and the outcome. There is danger is this one. There is obsession, too. It can drive you mad.
It is this one that has killed me over and over in life.
It is the one that captures both my mind and my soul. It has caused me the most intense ecstasy and the most pain. It is the reason Van Gogh cut off his ear, and the reason people risk their life. There are not many left who even have room in their minds to explore this kind of relationship. It's the kind that could drive people mad. I had to adjust myself from the year 2008 because I became obsessed with a Korean guy I worked with. It was not him as a person i adored, but the manufactured dream of him that inspired me. From then on, I have had to be very vigilant to not confuse people with my imagination. I turned towards art from those days and I left people out of the equation.
The girl pictured above loves the horse deeply because she can never be a horse. She knows the horse is stronger than her and has a different mind, one which will never be fully grasped by her. There is immense respect. This adds to the mysterious energy between them. They have mutual respect for each other, and this is the basis of the friendship. It will never be equal, for the horse will always be out of reach.
Using the horse metaphor, it is my belief that humans manufacture this kind of desired relationship because it is simply more exciting and thrilling. Who wants to roll over for the thousandth time and kiss the same mouth? It gets routine and boring. Advertisers know this. I know this. Everyone who is selling you something knows this. I am selling you something right now: my soul. I decided long ago that I would capture my own energy and use it for something in the future.
That future is now.
The media has slapped that horse mask onto celebrities and you've been eating it up, but you'll never know them well enough to see the edges of the mask. Celebrities are happily wearing this mask. They present the mask, and you buy it, thinking that you're getting a horse. They are happy and you have your fantasy. Everyone is deluded. But this dance is not real. You have given up. Your power is not being accessed. You've traded your nightly dreams for a piece of Paris pie. You sold out your mind. What is required of you is too much, so you just settle for the pre-packed no-feel vest that comes with free shipping for $9.99.
You are a celebrity. Everyone is. You've been told a lie, that Paris Hilton can have everything but you can't. If you stopped today valuing wealth hoarders and plastic barbie dolls, then what would Paris Hilton have? I'm not sure. Her brand would not be worth anything (but she's getting into crypto...so). You can decide your own value and take the necessary actions. No one can stop me from having dreams of changing the world. Even if I lose everything, I can still take actions towards those goals. That is the power of a solid vision. Having money is not the issue. Not having visions is the root problem.
The real issue: what do you value?
I guess I will answer that:
I value the ability of others to make me laugh. (this is actually the thing I value the most in people. Life without a sense of humor is colorless and vapid.)
I value people who know themselves in and out.
I value those who have the inventor's light. (I worked with an inventor in California, and those were the sweetest of days.)
I value intellectual curiosity.
If you don't know yourself well enough to know what you would do with a million, then you have a big problem. A problem that is worth solving now, not later.
You found Steem. By chance we have crossed paths and it's still early in the Steem game.
They are not real horses. Those only exist in your mind.
This is what I want to become: a whole, fully-functioning human being who can easily give and receive. It looks something like this:
My weakness is that I do not know how to receive or relax. I don't like myself enough because my visions of the world have not yet materialized. Therefore I am restless....happiness is only reserved for those who are not tirelessly working towards a new vision of the future.
I want to be more like water, and less like steel.
I want to feel emotions again. All of this mental re-programming that I've been doing is not yet complete. It's only recently that friends have re-entered my mental spaces. I expect a lot from myself and I have not done enough, in fact I've hardly done anything. The only thing I've done (which was in fact the hardest thing I've ever done) which I am proud of is self-published a book in Amazon and learned how to format everything. I got my statement yesterday from Amazon, and looked at the earnings from my Un-Crap Your Life book: $19.10. I don't advertise my book, or do any marketing for it. So, to have $19 appear in my bank account from something I wrote is kind of a big deal. There are millions of things to buy on Amazon, so the fact that a few people decided to buy my book means a lot to me. That book contains my demons, and everything that recently almost killed my spirit. Writing that book coincided with being able to free myself. But none of that gave me financial freedom.
Steem did that. I want never to take it for granted.
So, the hierarchy of needs means that I develop my friendships based not on dependence, but on adding my gifts and being able to receive the gifts from others. I think it looks something like this:
Monkeys who take turns grooming each other. I think that's the best example of friendship worth striving for. The root of my weakness lies in the fact that I have a distaste for the human condition. I always have. Corny, drippy, sentimental trite expressions and thoughts....yuck!. In fact, I hate sentimentality. Clingy people, overly sentimental people are like a plague.....probably because I lost touch with my emotions many years ago and I must hate that part of the human condition.
I'm on my third beer, so I think I'll upvote my own damned post.
May The FORCE Be With YOU!!!
ha ha! This was great.
Well written post. And you certainly delved into things - very deeply ! Kudos to you for revealing your life & yourself !
ONE of MY FAVORITE PARTS:
When u said:
"This kind is the muse/artist relationship. This one sweeps you away, and captures your imagination in ways that are hard to describe. These are the ones I like because I prefer to be in love with an ideal representation of a human which is ungraspable."
Hmmm, I can relate, as I had a relationship like the 1 u described (it ended in bitterness, as well). I don't make close friends all that easily, & after I'd given so much & listened to the gal for so long & so well, she just wasn't there for me when 1 of my parents died).
Also appreciated when u commented, "No one can stop me from having dreams of changing the world. Even if I lose everything, I can still take actions towards those #goals. " - BRAVO !
You have a firm grasp on reality, and should be slated to make some #Positive changes, indeed.
Btw, if u like #Goal oriented tools, you may like Goal-buddy.com
It's a TOOL I use ♦♦ TAKE CARE, you.
P.S. I scoff sometimes, too, at the sentimental shit (at 'Hallmark moments' ).
P.P.S. - Congrats on Your Amazon #success !
A friend, a person we call "Mate" in Australia, used to be and still to a great extent is one of the core foundations of Australian society and morals.
Yes, we have gone a little along the path that I call "chasing the unholy dollar", but when it comes to the crunch, a huge number of Aussies still hold firm to the values and morals that is called "mateship".
Back when I was a kid, "mi mates" (my friends) were everything in life, no matter what the consequences, we stuck together and went for it, too often knowing very well that the consequences were not going to be pretty!
Enjoyed the read!
Thanks.
Beautiful post altogether!
I love the way your choices of images are able to illustrate complex (sometimes indescribable) ideas.
This was a concise analysis and a great read. Thanks!
In 10 years I believed that there is friendship, at the age of 20 I began to doubt, and now at almost 30 I know for sure that friendship, pure, unselfish, is not in the world. Lucky those who have a real friend.
Your posts always sends shivers down my spine. Deep something, well articulated and delivered excellently. Your emotions will come running back soon when you find the right set of people around you.
I believe friendship is not about having your duplicate though, it's about having a compliment. Your friend is someone who will teach you, love you and accommodate you.
Great post. Thanks @stellabelle
That's good! i always looked for shivers in writing. That means a lot to me. Thank you.
I enjoy the give and take I am finding here at steemit, after a year of dealing with a few people who would do nothing but take and expect a slave 24/7 just to be available to them to mod their channels along with being in a private chatroom just for them and would screw you over in less than a heart beat. I reached my level of saying hasta la vista and walked away from the worst ones! Their outer image that they showed sure did not match who they really were in private...You are satin wrapped around steel...
there are awful people everywhere. you only need to learn to shed them before they insert their hooks into you...
I like that phrase, It really does fit @stellabelle. And weetree, good call on steemit, I am having so much fun here. The people, they make steemit, just remember to ignore the bad ones. We grow stronger every day, as they weaken themselves away.
that is very well stated. Weak ones will be outcasted, and left to lick their own rotting wounds.
wooww fantastic and good frienship
I am already for nw friends.... Hello how r u ? :-)
Upvoted and followed as a sign of my new friendship ...... chao
Can we be friends? Haha. A very good read mada'am :)
wonderful presentation, friendship is even a better relationship than cousins.
friends play the most vital role in creating our life. most of the times , we have our friends speaking out from our heart
I feel and relate to so much of what you've written here. What a beautifully written piece of truth. Thank you 💜 I have been very isolated for years but for me Steemit is so rewarding in this area. I have begun interacting with and communicating with and hopefully beginning friendships with so many amazing people here and am so thankful for that!
I have made so many new amazing friendships. It's like Steemit was the missing lens.
Exactly!!
I had so many friends just a year back @stellabelle! I was surrounded with them all day and night, so much trust i had with all of them. I was the executive chef and they were in my team...well simple to know what happened!
I quit the job when I discovered so many truths on them, and since one year I no more meet anyone...I'm all alone but living much better. It will be hard for me to make that friendship bond again. Well we never know.
well, i certainly understand. I had my trust broken! It's so hard to recover a frozen heart. I get it.
Good Post StellaBelle... somehow TV's, computers, cell phones, etc. have separated us from experiencing friendship the "old fashioned" way.
Yes, I believe You are correct, we need to get back in touch with our feelings & our emotions.
Cheers !!
Friendship is one of the most precious commodities in the world. So do not be afraid to tell your friends how much they matter to you.
"I want to be more like water, and less like steel."
This is a beautifully poetic and powerful statement.
You have written a lot of articles with valuable insight into a "better" world and you have had so much success here on Steemit. Yet I am maybe more moved by this post than any others because you are being sooooo real!
I truly cherish and respect honesty, authenticity especially when someone can express it in an arena like this.
"My weakness is that I do not know how to receive or relax. I don't like myself enough because my visions of the world have not yet materialized. Therefore I am restless....happiness is only reserved for those who are not tirelessly working towards a new vision of the future."
Vulnerability is a GREAT strength and I see many strengths you embody. We ALL have weaknesses yet many are not willing to be honest or responsible with them.
By being so honest here not only do you create space for your own evolution but you inspire and facilitate evolution for others!
This may just be the greatest gift anyone can give.
Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty.
Thanks. I decided recently that it is enough to be here writing on STeemit. I was trying to manage several things, like when I was working for Dash. I had two full-time jobs. It was exhausting me. So, i am enough to just write my thoughts and run a school for Steem. Maybe that is enough! thanks for reading my thoughts....they are only thoughts!
They may only be thoughts but they are honest and vulnerable thoughts of which I feel have great value.
To me health and happiness is of the utmost importance. I have been dedicated to the cause of improving the world and creating real solutions to real problems and work on it 7 days a week. It is a burden sometimes but when I am doing what I truly believe in it fuels me despite the weight of the responsibility.
I know I don't know you that well but it seems to me that Steemit is part of your destiny. You have been quite an influence over the life of Steemit and continue to help it grow and thrive.
I think you would not only help this community a great deal by just focusing on Steemit but that you would also be well compensated for it so that you may sustain your own life and not need to exhaust your self with other jobs.
I hope to be able to contribute something valuable to you one day and am grateful for all you have contributed to this community.
thanks for your kind response and opinion.
Thank you for all your love and contributions to this community and for responding to my comment!
I am finding it a bit challenging to respond to everyone...it's true...You one of the ones who I think is the next generation....I think you already live in an ecovillage eh?
Oh yes I completely understand how many comments you get and how much time that would require to respond sufficiently to each one. I don't think you should feel obligated to respond to all comments especially with how much spam and lame comments there are these days.
That is why I specifically thanked you not only for what you contribute to this community but for responding to my comment as I am aware of how much time u spend on all of that already.
Yes I am a HUGE proponent of living in conscious sustainable community. I founded and built The Garden of Eden 9 years ago and it gets better every year!
We fed 40,000 free meals in just one year, plus we educate tens of thousands a year on health, building, gardening, sustainable living, craft and trade skills and much more.
If you want to check it out you can.
@gardenofeden also www.intothegardenofeden.com
Everyone today seems to think that’s someone you once said “hi” to or someone who accepted a friends request is now a “friend”. I never understood this way of thinking. True friendship takes a very long time. Something most people do not want to spend the time to do anymore.
I would consider quite a few people to be business relationships or business friendship. I think that is what a lot of people have. That’s at least how I view the Americanized friendship seems to be one of money and power. Makes no sense to me at all to call it just a normal friend.
I have a very small group of people I would consider a friend. We often times trade back and forth. One will have a really great week; the other not so much. We don’t have worry about how we phrase things around the other. No one gets angry and just storms off. Advise is given when ask but not forced on when not. We always hoping each other go beyond anything we have hoped for in life. When things don’t or go the other ways we know that’s just how it is from time to times.
that's real friendship. I have lived all over the world. In USA, there seems to be most superficial friends. In my area, though, people seem more geniune, real than in coasts. Midwestern people may not be the most advanced, but at least they are mostly honest. In Asia, I learned about humility.....there are huge lessons that Japan taught me. Sometimes I miss that level of humility....but America taught me to think for myself.
I have always said, "I have very few friends and many acquaintances". I agree that friendship is much more than 'knowing' someone and being on friendly terms with them.
I think friends online are the best. I know some folks dont even believe you can have friends online that you dont see IRL, but I think its possible. I rather enjoy online friends. The distance is on one hand a curse, but on the other hand, a blessing.
That is very true! I know a couple who met on-line and got to know each other by what they said and how they reacted, rather than how they appeared. They actually planned their wedding without having met in person! That was at least 5 years ago and they are still happily married and are raising their children together.
So true! Owkay people, let's make some good friends! Reply to this my comment and let me follow you!!!
I know this problem. It haunts me all my life. My best friend turned away from me. I feel disappointed. Why do people make friends with me? For the sake of money, services, help, bad habits? I want to believe in sincere feelings
oh, that is sad when it happens. Did you ever find out why? Sometimes people are just heartless and fickle.
It can sometimes be third party sh*t stirring.
My best friend stopped talking to me in 2012 and a few years later I asked her 18 yr old son (my godson), if he knew why. ( I waited until he was an adult before asking him out of respect for my friend).
He told me that I'd said something about her but the nasty words he repeated were the exact words that a different friend had said to me, about her, several times. I had disagreed with the negative crap that this person had said and so I'm guessing that this person ran back to my best friend and told her that I said it. Ironically my policy is to never repeat crap to my friends so that they aren't affected by negative crap and so I would never have run back and told her what the 3rd, "friend" said.
Some people just never leave high school and sometimes it's your own sister.
Everyone makes bad friends sometimes, you just have to learn to spot them and weed them out faster, unless it's your sister!
I've always been through phases where I think someone is like my best friend , but I feel like friends are really temporary , you might think they are everything in that moment but the truth is , just like seasons , people change , things change and we are always left alone. But you know , I've learned to live alone , it's actually more enjoyable
yes i agree! At least when you are alone, your thoughts don't get intruded on by stupid people.
Wow thats harsh.... I think I am sentimental... a bit. Is this really serious your opinion?
As i mentioned several times in the post, I have mostly lost my feelings......There are many reasons for this, one being that I was mentally tortured by my ex. My trust was broken....and my mental programs were broken too. I don't think i ever recovered, so that is why i probably despise sentimental feelings. Don't let my illness affect your happiness!
I'm sorry to hear this about the mental torture. I too had lost myself in my former relationship. It took our break-up for me to begin to find myself again. It took a lot of effort and time, but I think I came out the other end a better person. I also managed to find internal peace (and it's a great feeling). Unfortunately, it is like a relationship; if you don't continue working at it, it slowly slips away too.
I pray that you will do what is needed in order to repair the damage done and also come out the other end as a better, stronger person. The key for me was to seek understanding. Even though you may not agree with what the other person did, as long as you can understand WHY they did what they did, it opens the door to forgiveness and forgiveness sets YOU free.
Right on @stellabelle. Great post. Damn good post!
Wonderful piece. You are not the only one with this dilemma and it is true that we have forgotten how to really make friends. I read an article somewhere that stated that every successful relationship requires someone who is willing to settle and someone who is willing to reach out and i think you have done an amazing explaination of it with your blog.
Ps. I wish i could write as eloquent as you do. Any tips??
Write a Steemit post as if it was your last day on earth.
What a great reply! :-)
Like giving it everything i have got from my core. Thanks.
exactly. Then you will have an audience because few venture into such realms.
Thank you for this insight
Thank you very much
I think that over time our views on relationships have been skewed by social media as you encounter these 'friendship goals' or 'relationship goals' posts where in reality it doesn't truly portrait what a real relationship is like.
What makes a great relationship is not how it is viewed externally. It doesn't matter how 'cute' you may look together, what truly matters is the little things you do with and how you can feel happy and optimistic around someone just by being in their company.
Hopefully in the future, I can give more to the community but the most I can is to keep forming relations by putting efforts in my comments and posts. We should share gifts with each and of course it doesn't have to be materialistic @stellabelle
I really don't know what friends are.. Family is what i have. My sisters and my brothers especially. Maybe its the trust issue maybe the environment where friendship existed was fake and full of lies. Maybe because people become things that just been use. Real friends are diamonds. Im happy for all who got real friends!
I live in a different city from my "close" friends and this workd well for me, when ee see each other we have good times and remain close, but there is so much less maintenance, I dont have time for maintenance! Have another beer!
Is it just me or does it seem like many people here on Steemit (did) go through similar situations??
Guess we're all destined to be here :)
Really i dont know how to place it, the exact words to use. Oh, i think i get it now, you are a specimen, ethereal, even moreso surreal that is supposed to be studied.
The above quote from you is not something that is revealed through the dealings of the flesh. I feel your energy. I really do.
ah, and so another one emerges......
and why is it that Nigerians seem to be understanding these things more than others? It really is strange....I wonder what culture has snuffed out in the American mind? (I never identified closely with Americans....mainly because I have visions, and many visions throughout my life....)
It is quite a pity. I guess the reason we understand is because of the kindred spirit you share with Nigerians.
That was some deep introspection there! I love the way you dissected friendship and were able to illustrate it with images. I doubt too many people would even think about these things the way you did. I'm impressed and glad I began following you.
I only recently began following you, so I don't really know all that much about you yet, but it seems to me you are a thinker and willing to challenge yourself. I see that you also care deeply about Steem. Yesterday I published an article about a few of the issues I see here on Steemit and proposed a quite radical change that would drastically change our vote power, but I feel it would also benefit the community at large. I would be very interested in hearing what a veteran like you thinks about my ideas. I have not been here long enough to know what has already been tried and how it worked out, so your input would be very valuable. I am addicted to this platform and truly wish for it to become mainstream and surpass Bitcoin. To do that we need to find a way to refine our system and that takes many minds working together for a common goal.
I think friendship is one of inter dependence. Sometimes one is the giver and the other is the taker and the role can be reversed. Seldom there will be a balanced role and usually its always lopsided which is how the world is. Still friendship in its stark reality is our need to feel loved and cared for by another.
Just a few thoughts while reading your post: Life is messy. Any friendship takes work. I think it was easier when we were kids because of school and all that extra time to fill. We have to make friends with ourselves first, and then maybe we can be friends with others.
Thanks for sharing your perspective @stellabelle !
ha ha. this guy seems made for memes.
Beer and upvote well deserved! clink clink
Creativity on display here. You can invent too. Keep steaming for the community.
I'm so stupid.. .I just get crazy with the campfire shot thinking was you some years ago...That;s a really beautiful one !, and you really Upvote it at the end i see! hahahaha. :)
Great post, thank you!
Can't wait to read the 6th beer version! ;)
damn, I ran out of beer, and was too deep into Steemit to run to get more....
I am no celebrity and I care not for them myself. When your life is obsessed with creating an image rather than real relationship, something is definitely off.
I just turned 32 this year and here's a couple of "events" I noticed through my life:
At 26, you slowly see on your Facebook feed more and more of your friends getting married. Cool. Good for them. I decline going for most weddings though because I hate that shit.
From 27-30, you slowly see said married friends having their firstborn child.
From 31-21, you slowly start to hear news of your friends getting divorced. It's so scary, yet real.
The point is, relationships come and go.
Divorce is a reset button. It caused a reset in one of my best friend's lives this year. He's actually happy. Incidentally, I am also. Why? Because he's more free now to party with me. We've never been closer.
All these reset buttons happen in everyone's lives. While it happens to your friends, you're still here.
Here's a quote by Neil Strauss, writer of The Game. It's a book on learning how to talk to women, but he puts it so brilliantly:
“We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.”
I am still here. I am just here and I am open to anyone who wants to be in my life. Thanks @stellabelle for another great one.
Glad you found something useful in my thoughts.
Always do.
Indeed, the benefits of good and quality friendship cannot be overemphasized. Friendship is indeed a gift to humanity, and must be held with great and high esteem. It should never be trifled with or trampled upon, because we all need friends, both in our happiest and darkest moments in life. Thanks for inspiring humanity once again with this beauty!
I love this. I'm exactly the same as you. Monkeys are perfect, they work as a team to achieve a common goal.
I see friendship as a team, my wife is my team mate together we achieve the team goals. Its not some lovey dovey shit.
Ahhh, very good :) Nice to hear you're enjoying a cold one for a change :):) Now one day when we meet each other we can have a drink together!!
The way you describe yourself and relationships makes me wonder if one of your parents had narcissistic personality disorder.
Interesting post. Once you learn to cut out your ego, your emotions will appear stronger than ever. Have u ever read "Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle? - changed my life. As for friendship - in my view - is 50 - 50, no matter what that 50 may be for each person. Mutual satisfaction. If not, it is a problem that speaks greatly on the value of the relationship (including the lack of communication - if so is the case).
I don't think it's about giving or taking - but about sharing and complementing each other - after all the relationship is voluntary. I might be a bit guarded, but so far in life i have learnt that, because of my overly empathetic tendencies, I need to choose wisely who I decide to be friends with - and that is after having lost some time with the users. It's not easy 'cause i'm sociable by nature, but it basically comes down to knowing your value.
Great topic Stella, beer on. Got me thinking about this poem a friend shared with me 3 months ago, tell me your thoughts about it:
It's funny how it takes so long to realise it sometimes. Many friends drain you, they take and hardly give but with the initial flow and dynamic it seems normal and you're okay with it. In retrospect however you realise just how much you didn't get from the person you expected to reciprocate your gestures.
I also am guilty for projecting an image of the friend I desire unto people, until I realise they are nothing like that person in my head. Many don't realise you have to put effort into picking your friends, and make sure you feel valued while giving value as well.
a friend is the closest person and willing to help in everything
This post really connected for me. What you said about not being able to relax or receive computes (and struck a strong chord).
I understand what this all feels like and honor the space you have shared here with us.
Really appreciated the words. I feel as if I was also heard.
Much thanks and respect. Happily upvoted and followed.
This is so soul deep and hit more than a hundred nerves in me this morning, this is probably because I had also been searching for myself and started pushing people away as a result, I have sort of found a haven in writing and poems so getting back to people seems hard but then I guess like you have said I need some mental reprogramming, might not be instant but gradually I know I will be fine
Great piece, I don't even think I'm qualified to comment here because I see great wisdom and insight on display.
Your thoughts were very deep and powerful yet expressed so simply.
Friendships are very vital in human existence but I strongly believe that any friendship that doesn't add value in one way or the other to our lives is not worth it.