I'd call her Candy - that's what her eyes look like to me.
She just opened the cupboard and is looking at a sandwich that got left in there last week, instead of in the refrigerator, because she was thinking about her low job placement test scores instead of paying attention...
Meanwhile, said sandwich has grown a fine head of hair...
I think it's only fitting now to have a short moment of silence for the sandwich.
.....
I'm going to miss it.
No Candy! Don't eat it! It's not worth it! Things will get better Candy! I promise! Put the sandwich... down...